A few days ago, a client, Beth, called about issues in her business, mostly wanting it to grow faster. (I can relate, can’t you?) Beth is a music teacher in a private school by day, teaches private clients in voice and piano, and is also starting a life coaching practice. Like many of us, she is highly intuitive, and so she literally “sees” what her business is going to look like. Like all intuitives, she “sees” in the present, and couldn’t quite understand why what she sees clairvoyantly isn’t happening in the physical world right now.
Here is what my guides told me to tell her:
Peace (be centered, balanced, grounded, letting go of attachment to outcomes)
+ Patience (be focused in the present, because that is where all power is)
+ Positive attitude (know that what you want is possible, and is coming)
+ Persistence (keep taking action, keep holding the vision)
= Power to draw things to you Magnetize what you want!
I thought this was so good that I had to pass it on!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Can money make you happy?
We all want to be happy. Happiness feels good and it improves your health – lowers your blood pressure, lowers your heart rate, and strengthens your immune system, so you’re sick less. And not only do you enjoy your life more, you actually live longer!
And most of us want to be wealthier. But here’s the question: Can money make you happy?
Well, yes and no.
It’s true that richer people are, on average, happier than poorer people. 45% of richest quarter of Americans are happy, compared with 33% of the poorest quarter.
But one extra dollar of income will make you happier if you are poorer than if you are wealthier – the poorer you are, the more that extra dollar of income increases your happiness. That makes sense, because if you’re hungry, a dollar buys food, where if you’re already fed and clothed and housed, you might not even notice that dollar.
In countries with per capita incomes of less than $20k/year, there is a strong association between income and happiness. e.g. people in Moldova (average income under $2k/yr) are significantly less happy than those in Hungary with average income around $10,000/year. But in countries with per capita incomes over $20k/yr (Italy, Japan, Norway, Netherlands, US, the average percentage of people who report themselves as “happy” or “satisfied” clusters between 80% and 95%. People in the Netherlands, Ireland, Denmark, and Canada all report being happier than those in the US, despite slightly lower per capita incomes. Also, happiness in the US and Britain haven’t increased since 1950, despite very real increases in real income per person.
Why?
Well, it depends on whom you compare yourself to:
Yes, money makes you happy if you are richer than those to whom you are comparing yourself.
No, money doesn’t make you happy, if you are poorer than those to whom you are comparing yourself.
The rich compare themselves to a group which generally includes people less well-off than they are, because most people are less well-off. while the poor will generally compare themselves to a group which includes people better off, because there are so many better off.
A study done at Harvard asked people, would you prefer to live in Word 1 or World 2, where in
World 1: you get 50k/yr, others get $25k
World 2: you get 100k/yr, others get $200k
A majority preferred World 1.
According to Richard Layard, in his book, Happiness, “People care greatly about their relative income, and they would be willing to accept a significant fall in living standards if they could move up compared with other people... A rise in other people’s income, relative to yours, hurts your happiness. One study suggests that if everyone else earns another 1%, your happiness falls by one-third as much as it would rise if you yourself earned an extra 1%. So if everybody’s income rose in step, your happiness would rise, but only 2/3 as much as it would if only your income was rising... Income is much more than a means to buy things. We also use our income, compared to others, as a measure of how we are valued by society and (if we’re not careful) a measure of how we value ourselves.”
So if you want to be happy, compare yourself to those who are doing worse than you. Your mother was right – think of the starving children in Africa.
And most of us want to be wealthier. But here’s the question: Can money make you happy?
Well, yes and no.
It’s true that richer people are, on average, happier than poorer people. 45% of richest quarter of Americans are happy, compared with 33% of the poorest quarter.
But one extra dollar of income will make you happier if you are poorer than if you are wealthier – the poorer you are, the more that extra dollar of income increases your happiness. That makes sense, because if you’re hungry, a dollar buys food, where if you’re already fed and clothed and housed, you might not even notice that dollar.
In countries with per capita incomes of less than $20k/year, there is a strong association between income and happiness. e.g. people in Moldova (average income under $2k/yr) are significantly less happy than those in Hungary with average income around $10,000/year. But in countries with per capita incomes over $20k/yr (Italy, Japan, Norway, Netherlands, US, the average percentage of people who report themselves as “happy” or “satisfied” clusters between 80% and 95%. People in the Netherlands, Ireland, Denmark, and Canada all report being happier than those in the US, despite slightly lower per capita incomes. Also, happiness in the US and Britain haven’t increased since 1950, despite very real increases in real income per person.
Why?
Well, it depends on whom you compare yourself to:
Yes, money makes you happy if you are richer than those to whom you are comparing yourself.
No, money doesn’t make you happy, if you are poorer than those to whom you are comparing yourself.
The rich compare themselves to a group which generally includes people less well-off than they are, because most people are less well-off. while the poor will generally compare themselves to a group which includes people better off, because there are so many better off.
A study done at Harvard asked people, would you prefer to live in Word 1 or World 2, where in
World 1: you get 50k/yr, others get $25k
World 2: you get 100k/yr, others get $200k
A majority preferred World 1.
According to Richard Layard, in his book, Happiness, “People care greatly about their relative income, and they would be willing to accept a significant fall in living standards if they could move up compared with other people... A rise in other people’s income, relative to yours, hurts your happiness. One study suggests that if everyone else earns another 1%, your happiness falls by one-third as much as it would rise if you yourself earned an extra 1%. So if everybody’s income rose in step, your happiness would rise, but only 2/3 as much as it would if only your income was rising... Income is much more than a means to buy things. We also use our income, compared to others, as a measure of how we are valued by society and (if we’re not careful) a measure of how we value ourselves.”
So if you want to be happy, compare yourself to those who are doing worse than you. Your mother was right – think of the starving children in Africa.
Shift your emotional state -- fast!
Did you ever feel crummy, and you didn’t quite know why, much less what to do about it?
Well, here’s what to do, in a few quick steps:
Be aware of your body. Notice your breathing – is it shallow or deep, high or in your belly? Is your heart pounding? Is there pain or tension anywhere? If so, where exactly is that?
2. What would you describe as the emotion related to the feelings in your body?
3. What caused that? Whatever pops into your head is the answer, no matter how little sense it makes. Is
this a present time issue, or one concerning the future or the past?
-- If it’s a present time issue, then you can do something about it now.
-- if it’s something about the future, you can affect it now.
-- If it’s something about the past, there are things you can do, but they’re a subject for a future email!
4. Ask yourself, “What can I do about that?”
-- If it’s a present time issue, then you can do something about it now. Either do it immediately, or write it
down so you remember it for a time when you can do it!
-- if it’s something about the future, you can affect it now.
-- If it’s something about the past, let it go.
5. Get to neutral immediately. Here are some good, quick techniques for that:
-- Take 5 long, slow, deep breaths, feeling your body relax with each exhalation.
-- Imagine a “grounding cord”, a cord growing down from the base of your spine into the very center of the
earth. “Watch” it in your mind as it wends its way down through the earth. Feel your feet rooting into
the earth.
-- Spend 5 minutes in a comfortable position, focusing on your heart, imagining some positive image
there, perhaps white light.
All of this can be done in just a few minutes. And each step gets faster the more you do it.
Well, here’s what to do, in a few quick steps:
Be aware of your body. Notice your breathing – is it shallow or deep, high or in your belly? Is your heart pounding? Is there pain or tension anywhere? If so, where exactly is that?
2. What would you describe as the emotion related to the feelings in your body?
3. What caused that? Whatever pops into your head is the answer, no matter how little sense it makes. Is
this a present time issue, or one concerning the future or the past?
-- If it’s a present time issue, then you can do something about it now.
-- if it’s something about the future, you can affect it now.
-- If it’s something about the past, there are things you can do, but they’re a subject for a future email!
4. Ask yourself, “What can I do about that?”
-- If it’s a present time issue, then you can do something about it now. Either do it immediately, or write it
down so you remember it for a time when you can do it!
-- if it’s something about the future, you can affect it now.
-- If it’s something about the past, let it go.
5. Get to neutral immediately. Here are some good, quick techniques for that:
-- Take 5 long, slow, deep breaths, feeling your body relax with each exhalation.
-- Imagine a “grounding cord”, a cord growing down from the base of your spine into the very center of the
earth. “Watch” it in your mind as it wends its way down through the earth. Feel your feet rooting into
the earth.
-- Spend 5 minutes in a comfortable position, focusing on your heart, imagining some positive image
there, perhaps white light.
All of this can be done in just a few minutes. And each step gets faster the more you do it.
My first podcast!
Thanks to a wonderful listener, Joseph Pinnock, I have a place to podcast. You CAN hear me now! at
http://20-248-b.onlinestoragesolution.com/ztux/Hollis%20n%20Dale.mp3
Have a listen to this 5 minute coaching session -- and with any luck, I'll be posting more soon!
Hollis
http://20-248-b.onlinestoragesolution.com/ztux/Hollis%20n%20Dale.mp3
Have a listen to this 5 minute coaching session -- and with any luck, I'll be posting more soon!
Hollis
Friday, April 21, 2006
Be careful what you think!
I know for myself the power of thought. At the age of 35, I grew an inch, largely through the power of visualization and affirmation. Yes, I did exercises, but I’d been doing them for 2 years before I started the affirmations, and didn’t grow one millimeter. And my posture was quite good to begin with, as I’d been a figure skater and dancer as a child and teen. At the same time, a friend completely eliminated her cataracts. Another friend accidentally cut herself very badly with a knife while chopping vegetables — so badly that she could see the bone. She decided that if she truly believed in the power of thought, she would meditate and visualize before she went to the hospital. And in 45 minutes of concentrated intention, the cut was completely healed, with only a tiny line to indicate there had ever been an accident. And yes, we all have witnesses. I could go on and on.
Affirmations can change your emotional state, as well. I was a very unhappy child, and have gradually gotten happier over my lifetime. But what changed it the most was an affirmation: My entire being is balanced, vital, healthy, loving and happy. I did the first part (My entire being is balance, vital and healthy) for 3 years, with no real change in my level of happiness. Then when I added the last part, I gradually became happy. Now I will often just kind of notice, that for absolutely no reason, I’m happy.
I bring all this up because I got a great email from another radio person, Wayne Kelly, AM deejay at KBS in Trail, BC. It’s so terrific that I include it in its entirety:
“I wouldn’t have believed if it didn’t happen to me!
“Last January I was working out with the Chicken Soup Guru, Mark Victor Hansen at the hotel gym we both stayed at. As we were working out, a new speaker (who is already super successful) came in to talk to Mark.
“She talked about many things including her new home in Banff, Alberta.
“She mentioned the architecture was so incredible, “you could just die.”
To which Mark quickly replied “live”.
“Then she was talking about her fence which was just featured in an outdoor magazine and again she mentioned that it’s so incredible you would die to see it.
Again Mark quickly shot back “Live”
“She said, “I know Live, but die is just an expression I use and I don’t mean anything by it.” Mark said that your subconscious doesn’t know the difference so you should always speak in positive statements.
“Why am I telling you this story?
“Well, I am a new kid when it comes to this new kind of positive programming, so I haven’t really bought into the ‘believe it and it will happen’ concept, until last Friday, when a HUGE light bulb exploded in my head.
“You see, I am proud to say I have perfect teeth. Not one cavity. I have always been very lucky. But about 18 months ago one of my teeth started causing me pain when I bit on it. They did X-Rays and found nothing so I lived with it. A couple of months ago I had another x-ray and they found a very tiny spot beneath the tooth and said looks like I will need a root canal. But the dentist didn’t understand why, as my teeth are perfect. Still he said we should get drilling, digging, and repairing soon.
“I waited and was baffled. I have talked with a few health professionals who were also confused as to why I’d need a root canal.
“Then came the choir and the lights from heaven!
“I was writing a friend an email and I wrote down a phrase I have used a thousand times. The phrase is, “I’d rather have a root canal than go watch the kick boxing tournament.
“Holy Cow!
“It struck me like lightening! I think I created the root canal problem because
of that phrase!
“Is it crazy or what?
“I am not 100%, but it is the only explanation I can come up with. Now the best
part is, since my discovery, I’ve been speaking out loud about my healthy teeth
and the pain seems to have gone away. (But I haven’t tried popcorn yet)
“I have since changed the phrase to, “I’d rather be a multi millionaire.”
Great thinking, Wayne!
Hollis
Affirmations can change your emotional state, as well. I was a very unhappy child, and have gradually gotten happier over my lifetime. But what changed it the most was an affirmation: My entire being is balanced, vital, healthy, loving and happy. I did the first part (My entire being is balance, vital and healthy) for 3 years, with no real change in my level of happiness. Then when I added the last part, I gradually became happy. Now I will often just kind of notice, that for absolutely no reason, I’m happy.
I bring all this up because I got a great email from another radio person, Wayne Kelly, AM deejay at KBS in Trail, BC. It’s so terrific that I include it in its entirety:
“I wouldn’t have believed if it didn’t happen to me!
“Last January I was working out with the Chicken Soup Guru, Mark Victor Hansen at the hotel gym we both stayed at. As we were working out, a new speaker (who is already super successful) came in to talk to Mark.
“She talked about many things including her new home in Banff, Alberta.
“She mentioned the architecture was so incredible, “you could just die.”
To which Mark quickly replied “live”.
“Then she was talking about her fence which was just featured in an outdoor magazine and again she mentioned that it’s so incredible you would die to see it.
Again Mark quickly shot back “Live”
“She said, “I know Live, but die is just an expression I use and I don’t mean anything by it.” Mark said that your subconscious doesn’t know the difference so you should always speak in positive statements.
“Why am I telling you this story?
“Well, I am a new kid when it comes to this new kind of positive programming, so I haven’t really bought into the ‘believe it and it will happen’ concept, until last Friday, when a HUGE light bulb exploded in my head.
“You see, I am proud to say I have perfect teeth. Not one cavity. I have always been very lucky. But about 18 months ago one of my teeth started causing me pain when I bit on it. They did X-Rays and found nothing so I lived with it. A couple of months ago I had another x-ray and they found a very tiny spot beneath the tooth and said looks like I will need a root canal. But the dentist didn’t understand why, as my teeth are perfect. Still he said we should get drilling, digging, and repairing soon.
“I waited and was baffled. I have talked with a few health professionals who were also confused as to why I’d need a root canal.
“Then came the choir and the lights from heaven!
“I was writing a friend an email and I wrote down a phrase I have used a thousand times. The phrase is, “I’d rather have a root canal than go watch the kick boxing tournament.
“Holy Cow!
“It struck me like lightening! I think I created the root canal problem because
of that phrase!
“Is it crazy or what?
“I am not 100%, but it is the only explanation I can come up with. Now the best
part is, since my discovery, I’ve been speaking out loud about my healthy teeth
and the pain seems to have gone away. (But I haven’t tried popcorn yet)
“I have since changed the phrase to, “I’d rather be a multi millionaire.”
Great thinking, Wayne!
Hollis
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