Are You Making These Relationship Mistakes?

Gina, a former student of mine, now friend, is newly single after a 25 year marriage. She is capable, energetic, intelligent, caring, and very sensitive energetically.

Gina married her high school sweetheart at 19, got her nursing degree, began working as a nurse and eventually had a daughter. Somewhere along the way, the bloom fell off the rose of her marriage. It was nothing horrible, she wasn't abused or anything, but after her daughter left for college, she decided it was time to move on.

She really had no experience in the dating world, and signed up for match.com with high hopes. And it worked! The first guy she met was an  engineer, both smart, funny, and what's more, she was really attracted to him. She slept with him very quickly, and enjoyed that a lot, too. Unfortunately, she discovered that he was an emotional mess, and she needed to take care of him emotionally. She wasn't sure if it was worth it, and backed off. Then she began to feel these odd pains in her lower back.

Enter guy #2 (not the second one she met, but the second with whom she got involved).  Also smart, funny, with a great job as an attorney, he was an outdoorsman, and took her on many adventures. Again, she slept with him early on, felt quite close to him and was providing emotional support. But he eventually got so depressed, so enmeshed in his divorce settlement and custody battle that he needed too much from her, out of all proportion to what he was giving, and she moved on. However, he would visit her in her dreams, and occasionally, lying in bed late at night, she'd have the sense that he was lying there beside her. Further, she began having these odd pains in her lower abdomen.

Several months later, she met guy #3. She said he wasn't really her type (but still smart, funny, and with a job he loved as a manufacturing supervisor). She slept with him, too, even though he was still seeing his ex-wife off and on. She began to get attached to him, finding more things right with him -- if only he'd stop playing pushme-pullyou games. He'd somehow become her type, and as she felt that, she began to have this odd ache in her heart, along with a vague fatigue.

What was going on?

Gina had slept with each of these men. Good sex (and she reported that  it was!) releases oxytocin, the hormone of connection. So she felt connected to each of them.

She's a nurse, so it is her job to take care of people. She'd carried this over into her personal life. Ever the helper, she had unconsciously offered her help to each of these somewhat needy guys. And they were taking advantage of it!

When we connect with people (actually with animals and even plants, too), we form energetic cords between us. Healthy cords run from an energy center in one person to the same center in someone else. The cord most easily felt and recognized runs from your heart center to someone else's. Healthy cords can also run from, your sexual center to another's sexual center, or from your third eye to theirs, for example.

Gina had formed these energetic connections. When she backed off a relationship, though, she forgot to cut the cords between her and the guy, which meant that he could still connect to her energetically and suck her energy.

I taught her to cut these cords, which she did. She'd feel relief for a little while, and then the pains would begin again. Why?

Each man, cut off from a source of energy/healing which he'd come to expect, would unconsciously feel the cutting of the cord -- and set it up all over again!

Gina had not only to cut the cords, but also needed to protect herself energetically so that the cords wouldn't reappear. When she set energetic boundaries, that is, protected herself energetically, as she cut the cords, they didn't reappear -- and she felt much better.

In sum, then, the relationship mistakes are:

1. Sleeping with someone before you really know what you're getting into
2. Forgetting to cut the energetic cords between you and another when a relationship ends
3. Neglecting to set energetic boundaries between you and another so that they can suck your energy even after the relationship is over

If you want help learning how to cut cords or set energetic boundaries, call me at 888-4-HOLLIS (888-446-5547) or send me an email at hollis@888-4-hollis.com.

Try this at home!

Have you ever felt like someone else's negativity really sapped your energy? It's true -- and you can demonstrate it yourself with kinesiology.

In the last year, I've seen two great lecture/demonstations that use kinesiology. The first was by Donna Eden ("Energy Medicine"), and the second, just last week, by Jack Canfield ("Chicken Soup for the Soul", and many more). They were so wonderful -- clear ad easy to do -- that I want to share them with you, and encourage you to try them at home.

First, a description of kinesiology in case you don't know about it. Version one requires 2 people, the tester and the one being tested (or Testee). The Testee puts one arm, generally the non-dominant one, directly out from his/her shoulder at shoulder height. This can be done directly forward from the shoulder, with palm facing center, or directly out to the side, with palm facing front. I've seen it done both ways. The tester asks the Testee to resist, and then pushes down on the Testee's arm, to see how much force the person can resist.

Version two requires only 1 person, and an appropriately sized weight (this method courtesy of Donna Eden). You determine your appropriate weight by finding one that you can lift with your arm outstretched at shoulder height when thinking a true thought, but can't lift when thinking a false thought. Yes, this really works! For me, as well as 2 other women with whom I've done this, it's a 9 pound weight. [Go to a gym or sporting goods store and try different weights till you find the right one for you.]

Both Eden and Canfield began with things I'd seen before:

• Testee thinks a positive thought (and can resist tester's push easily)
• Testee thinks a negative thought (and can't resist)

Here is one of Donna Eden's new twists, whcih she says proves that energy automatically goes from the strong to the weak:

• Testee is part of a couple, and is strong. Testee can resist push.
• Testee's partner is weak (upset, ill, etc.), and can't resist push.
• They hold hands. Testee can't resist push -- but Testee's partner can!

She also has Testees who are weak (can't resist push) do simple interventions, like walking a few steps backwards, and then they can resist! Unfortunately, you have to be able to see clairvoyantly to know which intervention will work, though you can try them all until one works.

Here is the first of Jack Canfield's new twists, designed to show group effects on an individual:

• He has 4 random people join the Testee in a line, holding hands
• All think a positive thought, and the Testee can resist a push.
• One of the line up, but not the Testee, thinks a negative thought. The Testee, who is still thinking a positive thought, as are all 3 others in the line, can't resist a push.
  

So it's important that people with whom you are working (or living, etc.) are aligned, or you're going to significantly weaken their effectiveness.

Here's the second, which shows that protecting your energy field really does work:

• The Testee stands alone on the stage and thinks a positive thought. Testee can resist a push.
• The audience thinks something negative about the Testee. Testee can't resist a push.
• The audience thinks something positive about the Testee. Testee can resist a push.
  
• Testee puts up energetic protection around his/her energy field.
  
• The audience thinks something negative about the Testee. Testee can resist a push.

If you work in an unfriendly setting, or need to deal with negative and/or hostile people in other parts of your life, and would like to learn how to put up energetic shields, call me at 888-4-hollis (888-446-5547).

Trees!

Wow! I went out for my usual walk this morning, maintaining a new state, pulling Source energy down through my crown chakra. There is an area I walk through several times a week, the large central part of a condominium complex, that has many trees, as well as some lawn and a pool. When I came onto this central area from a side path, maintaining my new state, I could see the energy that makes a tree! It kind of spirals up from the ground, and I think maybe it spirals down from the sky, too. When I looked more closely at many of the trees, I could see how branches, or leaves, or bark, or the bend of the trunk all matched this spiraling energy. And I swear that at least one of the trees was hugely happy that I noticed, as if it were saying to me, "Wow! You really see me! Not just my form, but ME." And isn't that what we all want?

I mentioned seeing this energy to a friend, a fellow channel, who said that she got a big smile in her heart from it, which is one of the ways she recognizes truth, and heard a tree laughing, thrilled that I saw it. Then I mentioned it to a chirpopractor friend, who said that he had heard about the spiraling energy from friends who had spent weeks alone in the Sierras, when they came back. (I only mention this because it validates what I saw, and honestly, as out there as I am, I'm still a bit afraid you might think I've really lost it this time.)

Morning Ramble

(I understand that in the UK, hiking is called 'rambling', and so this is a (bad?) pun.)

I did my normal morning walk today, doing 2 of my favorite meditation techniques simultaneously -- looking at the spaces between the tree branches and the silent mantra. Something kind of amazing happened.

First, because of looking at the spaces, I began to notice the air as it's own thing -- it had its own presence. You know that joke about one fish saying to another, "What's this water I hear so much about?" We humans are like that about air. We walk in an unnoticed sea of air. Not me, at least not this morning.

Second, the mantra developed into a field I could feel swirling around me, kind of like a gentle tornado. I'm used to that. But what happened today is that I could feel the interaction of that swirl with the energy fields of the trees as I walked by them. So I noticed that the energy fields of the trees, and eventually the bushes, even the cars and light poles, were interpenetrating my energy field. (Cars and light poles, not being alive, seem to have much smaller, much denser fields than those of living beings.)

Is this the beginning of quantum perception in the physical world, of us all as a giant soup?

A side benefit of running

As I mentioned in my last email, I’ve been running as well as walking for the last couple of weeks. I walk until I feel like running (my heart chakra sort of attaches to something in the distance and that pulls me), then run until I feel like walking (usually my throat gets sore).

You just never know what else any particular change will open up. Here’s what I mean:

This method of running requires me to stay present to my body and the surroundings, rather than do affirmations or work out things, like what I’m going to write. This makes me much more aware of my energy field. This in turn makes me much more aware of the energy fields of whatever I pass than I am normally. I think it’s because our energy fields are actually interpenetrating each other. Do you remember doing experiments with magnets and iron filings in junior high science class, so you could see the magnetic fields and their interactions? It’s like that, only I can feel it rather than see it, as if my aura is a giant sense organ. Or to use another metaphor, it’s as if a tree’s field is combing through mine, and vice versa.

Furthermore, I notice those other energy fields much more strongly when I run than when I walk. I suppose that’s because when I walk, I’m going too slowly to notice the subtle differences between different energy fields. For example, when I move quickly, it seems that the energy field of a gingko is much softer than the field of whatever conifer is next on my route.

Have you ever had a similar experience? Because if you have, I’d love to hear about it.