Sunday, December 04, 2011

Another Reason NOT to Get into the Wrong Relationship

Here's another lesson courtesy of my friend, Gina (see this post for the background info):

If you're enmeshed with the wrong relationship, you won't be available for the right one.

Imagine that you have a glass -- and it's full of water. How are you going to put in more water? If your heart is full of someone, and that person is not available to you, or treating you badly, how are you going to make space for someone else?

This is what happened with Gina. She remained so attached to Guy #3 that when she met someone else (I'll call him Guy #4),  she couldn't connect with him. They found each other on, and quickly decided to meet for coffee. Coffee turned into 3 hours, and then turned into dinner. They clicked on many levels, and had a lot in common. Both were in the medical field. Both liked to hike. Both were spiritually aware. And it went on from there.

Guy #4 recognized that this could be very special, and Gina liked #4 a lot. But as things began to progress, Gina had to admit to herself, and to #4, that she was still hung up on #3, and couldn't really connect to #4 in the way that he deserved. She knows it's hopeless with #3, but is still having trouble letting go of him, for what looks like a much more promising relationship.

So the wrong relationship is preventing her from getting into what might be the right one. Another reason not to get to quickly involved with what might be the wrong relationship.


Anonymous said...

Easier said than done. The hardest thing is to let go, especially when it seemed as if there were a positive, intuitive reason for the past wrong "non-relationship" to happen. Hard to move on because a belief in one's own personal judgement has been shaken deeply - aside from the hurt to the heart...

Hollis Polk said...

Hi, Anonymous -- There are many NLP techniques which can help you let go. Call me at 888-4-HOLLIS (888-446-5547) if you want help.

I hear that your confidence was shaken because you had intuitive knowledge that this relationship was supposed to happen, and then it didn't. Here's what you need to know: Many times, people make agreements for things before they are born -- and then reneg on the agreements once they're here, for a variety of reasons. I'm not reading you or your situation, but that could be what happened.