Hat tip to 'kaputt' on MarketWatch:
And then there was the politician who died at went to heaven. St Peter met him at the gate and told him that there were special rules for politicians. They had to spend 3 days in h*** and 3 days in Heaven and then decide. The man protested telling the St Peter how he had gone to church every day and Mass on Sundays, but rules are rules and couldn't be broken Finally the man agreed and went down to h***. It was great. All his old buddies were there. Wine, women, song, lobbyist-the whole nine yards. After three great days St. Peter came and they went to Heaven. He was given a harp and just drifted among the clouds for 3 boring days with others who rarely spoke to him. After 3 days the gate keeper came and asked him what he wanted. The politician said, I thought I would never want this but I want to be in h***. Poof-Fire, Brimstone, Ashes everything he had been warned over appeared. What happened the bewildered guy asked. All of a sudden Satan appeared and told him, The first time we were campaining, now you voted.