With Much Love and Gratitude

I'm really grateful for everything in my life -- the good, the mundane, and even the so-called bad, because I get to learn and grow from it -- and I reflect on that daily. A partial list of what I'm thankful for includes:

• you, for reading and supporting me, today and throughout the years
• my friends and family (even if they're not reading this!)
• my guides, without whom much of my life would not be possible
• nature, without whom none of our lives would be possible
• technology -- where would we be without electricity, radio, TV, the internet, automobiles, transit, etc.?

As I said, I think about this every day, and Thanksgiving is a good opportunity to speak about with  you.

Gratitude is important for two reasons. The first is the simple, "What you focus on, expands". If you appreciate things, you get more of what you appreciate. The second is that it is actually good for your health! According to research at the Institute of HeartMath,

"...true feelings of gratitude, appreciation and other positive emotions can synchronize brain and heart rhythms, creating a bodywide shift to a scientifically measurable state called coherence. In this optimal state, the body’s systems function more efficiently, generating a greater balance of emotions and increased mental clarity and brain function.

"Sustained feelings of gratitude have real benefits, including the following:

• Biochemical changes – Favorable changes in the body’s biochemistry include improved hormonal balance and an increase in production of DHEA, the "anti-aging hormone."
• Increased positivity – Daily gratitude exercises can bring about a greater level of positive feelings, according to researchers from the University of Miami and the University of California, Davis who studied this process in 157 individuals over 13 days.
• Boost to the immune system – The IgA antibody, which serves as the first line of defense against pathogens, increases in the body.
• Emotional "compound interest" – The accumulated effect of sustained appreciation and gratitude is that these feelings, and coherence, are easier to recreate with continued practice. This is because experiencing an emotion reinforces the neural pathways of that particular emotion as it excites the brain, heart and nervous system. The downside is that you also can reinforce negative emotions."

Actually, I suspect that the coherence is what helps generate what you choose to create, so the first statement could more accurately be, what you focus on coherently, expands.

Siblings Share Genes, But Rarely Personalities

This is a good article, which details 3 theories about why siblings can be so different. It leaves out a fourth possibility, however, which is that we are born different (doesn't every parent know that their children were different from each other from the moment of birth?), because of either innate soul differences and/or experiences in different lifetimes.

NPR.org � Siblings Share Genes, But Rarely Personalities

Meditation reverses aging in brains

Yet another addition to the long list of meditation's benefits:

Meditation reverses aging in brains

We ARE all one!

If these particles are entangled at the quantum level, how is it possible for atoms, and molecules, and cells, and organs, and whole beings not to be entangled? 

Physicists demonstrate a four-fold quantum memory

New Meditation Research: Putting the 'Om' in 'Chromosome'

Yet another demonstration of the reasons to meditate:

Wray Herbert: New Meditation Research: Putting the 'Om' in 'Chromosome'

City Life Is Hard On The Brain | Apex Global Network Solution Inc.

When I lived in Manhattan and worked in midtown, I used to walk to work through Central Park. I wonder if that counts?

City Life Is Hard On The Brain | Apex Global Network Solution Inc.

Meeting Jessica's Mom

There is a moral to this story, but I don't want to give it away, so please read all the way to the bottom.

If you've ever been out with me, you know that I'll pet anything on four paws that will let me. I look to see if they're friendly, and if they are, I get into rapport with them. Part of getting into rapport is getting down on their level and letting them smell my breath by almost touching my nose with theirs.

Yesterday, I was on my usual walk, when I came upon a woman walking 2 small white dogs. They were both friendly, wagging their tails as they approached me excitedly. As I got down on their level, both came even closer. I reached to pet both of them, and then let them smell my nose. The Jack Russell terrier began to bark and growl, so I rocketed back up to standing position.

Their human apologized, saying that Woody had been a bit aggressive since, well, "I lost my daughter recently."

"I'm so sorry,"  I answered.

Then, before I could say anything else, she said, "Jessica died in the explosion", that is, the PG&E gas line explosion in San Bruno about a month ago. And then it hit me...

Woody didn't know what happened -- Jessica died suddenly, outside Woody's presence -- and he was a little freaked out. These were partly Jessica's dogs -- she walked them often and was home with them during the day when mom was at work. So now Woody is alone during the day, and he's wondering, what happened to Jessica? Why isn't she here? and perhaps feeling a bit abandoned.

I told Jessica's mom that she needed to explain to Woody what had happened. She could do this by sitting quietly with him (even waiting till he was asleep if necessary) and telling him, or telepathically showing him pictures of Jessica going into the light.

So the moral of the story is this: you never know when -- or how -- you'll be of service.

'Be Here Now' is Still the Best Advice

Mind is a frequent, but not happy, wanderer: People spend nearly half their waking hours thinking about what isn’t going on around them

4 Ways to Deal with Death and other Losses

My sweet Creature, my faithful companion of more than 18 years, aka 'the reading kitty', left her body a week ago. She loved nothing more than literally being on me, sitting in my lap while I did client sessions (An animal communicator once told me that Creature thought she was getting a healing each time.) She was fine till two days before she checked out (the vet gave her an AOK about 3 weeks previously), then suddenly had a hard time walking and finally didn't want water. I knew the end was near, and she breathed her last while in my arm, immediately after a reading. [If you're reading this on Facebook, many thanks for your thoughts, stories and prayers. I'm not rehashing old ground, rather, I'm sharing what I've learned from the experience.]

The experience got me thinking about the human experience of loss, what makes it so difficult and how to make it easier. I see four issues/remedies. The first two are for just about any loss of a person/relationship -- a romantic or marriage breakup,  a child going off to college, going into the military or just moving out, the ending of a friendship due to betrayal, and of course, your garden variety 'death', that is, one of sickness or old age, or even accident. [Murders feel very different -- trust me, one of my friends was murdered a while back.] The second two really relate only to 'death'. 

Issue 1 - Cords:  When you have an intense and/or long-term relationship with someone, your energy bodies (that is, the electromagnetic fields we all have) create electromagnetic connections with each other. These are  called 'cords' because they literally look like cords of energy between the two of you. This is why we say things like "my heart goes out to you" -- we have created an energy cord between our hearts. When one of you drops your physical body, or ends the relationship abruptly (even if it's planned), the cords, and their connections to your energy body are abruptly torn, leaving holes in your energy field. This is generally interpreted as emotional pain, though in truth, it's quasi-physical (one of the layers of the electromagentic body is emotional). This will usually heal in time, because bodies do know how to heal themselves. You can also intentionally heal the holes through visualization (call me at 888-4-hollis if you want help).

Issue 2 - Triggers: When you see your pet's favorite chair -- now empty, or hear 'our song', or catch the waft of a familiar cologne on the breeze, or taste Grandma's madeleine,  it can trigger a strong memory of the relationship you used to have. What you do with that memory, how you compare it to what exists in the present, and how often you access that comparison affects your experience of the loss. If you only compare what was (which you liked) to what is -- and label that change 'missing', you are probably going to be miserable. One really simple solution to this: if you are constantly experiencing the comparison, and finding it unpleasant, just 'Be here now" -- focus your attention in the present.

Since memories are carried holographically in our energy field, you can change them. What you do is  change yourself, your energy field, to match what is, not what was.  (Again, call me at 888-4-hollis if you want help, because there are specific NLP ways to deal with triggers).

Issue 3 - Beliefs: Many people have the mistaken notion that mourning, feeling bad, somehow honors the dead. Nothing could be further from the truth. Why would someone you love want you to suffer? This is the experience of one of my clients, who is also a medium. He says he's had multiple encounters with those on the other side, who say, 'please tell my loved on to move on -- I want him/her to be happy.'

If you truly believe your loved one is in a better place,  then you should be happy for him/her -- and the only person you are feeling bad for is you. And you can change that -- see (1) and (2) above.

Issue 4 - Transcommunication:  Which brings us to communication with the other side. Yesterday, I 'got' that Creature wanted to show me how much she loved me, and I could feel her little paws on my thighs as I sat. Now that I know she's fine, I'm fine. So do your best to communicate across the veil, and if you need help to do it, get help.

Whining can be fun! & So can listening to it!

Next time you catch a regular complainer in the act -- even yourself -- try this great technique:

1. Set a timer (most cell phones have them) for 2 minutes. - This limits the amount of time for the whining to something you actually have time for.
2. Complain for a solid 2 minutes. The catch is that the only word you can us is "blah". 

Frustrated? Blah BLAH blah blah blaaaaaah blahblah blah blah blah.

Annoyed? BLAH BLAH blah BLAH blah blah BLAH!

Super ticked off? BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAHBLAHBLAHLAH!!! BLAH!

And go on for 2 minutes. Run out of rant on one subject? Switch to another: blah blah blahblah blah!

If you're listening, then respond as you usually would -- but again, only using the word, "blah": a soft blah blah blahblah.

You'll be amazed at what happens! I don't want to tell you, because I want you to try this for yourself, but there were 2 main reactions in the group of 40 or so people with whom I learned this, and both were good. Try it, post a comment here, or send me an email, and I'll let you know how you compare to the group.

[Big thanks to Suzi Smith, who taught this technique at last weekend's NLP conference.]

Meditate Enhances Positive Emotions

Not exactly new news, and still good to be reminded:

Meditation: Can it strengthen positive emotions? - Point of View