Today, I am thrilled to have Michael Murphy, co-founder of Esalen Institute, one of the fathers of the human potential movement, author of many books, brilliant thinker, great story teller and intrepid explorer into unseen worlds, as my on-air guest. We’ll be discussing new research into life after “death”. This promises to be a lively and informative discussion!
You may want to hear my weekly radio show, but can’t because you’re working, or just away from the computer. Now I have begun to podcast the shows (2 are up so far). It’s not perfect yet (I have to upload them in pieces, for example), but it does work, and the sound quality is pretty good. To listen to the podcasts, go to my website, http://www.888-4-hollis.com and click on PODCAST in the menu bar at the top. This will take you to a sign in page (which you only have to do once for any and all podcasts), and then you’ll be emailed the link to the podcasts.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
How YOU can help end the "War on Terror"
It isn’t what you think.
First, we have to look at the meaning of the phrase “war on terror”. This has been widely derided as absurd, because “you can’t make war on a tactic”. This is true, but misses the mark. The tactic is terrorism, and so if one were making war on a tactic, this would be the “War on Terrorism”, but it wasn’t named that. Let’s go deeper.
“Terror” is, of course, an emotion, an exaggerated fear. So the “War on Terror” is actually a war on an emotion. Absurd, right? Well, perhaps not absurd, but fiendishly clever.
War is the man-made mass event that is most feared in the world. And so war creates fear — war creates terror. Aha! This is self-reinforcing. The war creates the very thing it is supposedly made to stop. So the “War on Terror” is designed to be never-ending. You might think of it, instead, as the “Love of Terror”.
Then you have to ask the age old question, “Who benefits?” I’ll leave the answer to that one up to your imagination and investigation, because this isn’t meant to be a political article.
So how do you help end the “War on Terror”? It’s simple.
Refuse to be afraid. If you’re not afraid, those who would manipulate you, can’t. This is true at every level from the boyfriend or girlfriend who threatens to leave you if you don’t do a certain thing, or act a certain way, all the way up to a group or a nation threatening another group or nation with bombs if they don’t behave in the way the first group wants.
But, you say, fear is natural. Yes, that’s true. Fear is an evolutionary mechanism related to “fight or flight”. Humans evolved so that when confronted by a large, hungry animal, their instincts helped protect them so they’d live and procreate another day. But much of what we fear today is artificial — we fear ridicule, or we fear losing a loved one, or we fear losing a job. In fact, none of those things is in your face, life or death, and so none of them requires “fight or flight”.
In over 20 years of counseling people, I’ve learned that almost all fears, when you push them, are masks for the fear of death. Think about that. When you’re afraid of losing a job, the subconscious train of thought goes like this: if I lose my job, I’ll never find another one, and then I’ll lose my home and my family and won’t be able to feed myself and I’ll die. If you’re able to read this message, then that’s probably pretty unlikely, because you live in a society where there are resources. Yes, life might get harder, maybe a lot harder, but it might get better too (by, say, finding work you like more), and the chances of you dying because of a job loss are pretty small.
So how do you stop being afraid? Learn about “death”! There’s nothing to fear. At this point, massive evidence exists that one lives on afterwards. Check out
1) World ITC – The new technology of spiritual contact: http://www.worlditc.org,
2) the work of Dr. Ian Stevenson’s group at the University of VA: http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/internet/personalitystudies/, and
3) Near Death Experience and the Afterlife: http://www.near-death.com/.
If you know you are going to live on after “death”, and so are not afraid of it, then what in the world is there to be afraid of?
In addition, here are two other things you can do:
1) Forward this widely (with attribution), so that others will refuse to be afraid.
2) If you are so moved (and because today is the International Day of Peace), you may choose to actively work for peace. One way to do that is to support the Peace Alliance in its efforts to create a Dept. of Peace — check out http://www.thepeacealliance.org/.
First, we have to look at the meaning of the phrase “war on terror”. This has been widely derided as absurd, because “you can’t make war on a tactic”. This is true, but misses the mark. The tactic is terrorism, and so if one were making war on a tactic, this would be the “War on Terrorism”, but it wasn’t named that. Let’s go deeper.
“Terror” is, of course, an emotion, an exaggerated fear. So the “War on Terror” is actually a war on an emotion. Absurd, right? Well, perhaps not absurd, but fiendishly clever.
War is the man-made mass event that is most feared in the world. And so war creates fear — war creates terror. Aha! This is self-reinforcing. The war creates the very thing it is supposedly made to stop. So the “War on Terror” is designed to be never-ending. You might think of it, instead, as the “Love of Terror”.
Then you have to ask the age old question, “Who benefits?” I’ll leave the answer to that one up to your imagination and investigation, because this isn’t meant to be a political article.
So how do you help end the “War on Terror”? It’s simple.
Refuse to be afraid. If you’re not afraid, those who would manipulate you, can’t. This is true at every level from the boyfriend or girlfriend who threatens to leave you if you don’t do a certain thing, or act a certain way, all the way up to a group or a nation threatening another group or nation with bombs if they don’t behave in the way the first group wants.
But, you say, fear is natural. Yes, that’s true. Fear is an evolutionary mechanism related to “fight or flight”. Humans evolved so that when confronted by a large, hungry animal, their instincts helped protect them so they’d live and procreate another day. But much of what we fear today is artificial — we fear ridicule, or we fear losing a loved one, or we fear losing a job. In fact, none of those things is in your face, life or death, and so none of them requires “fight or flight”.
In over 20 years of counseling people, I’ve learned that almost all fears, when you push them, are masks for the fear of death. Think about that. When you’re afraid of losing a job, the subconscious train of thought goes like this: if I lose my job, I’ll never find another one, and then I’ll lose my home and my family and won’t be able to feed myself and I’ll die. If you’re able to read this message, then that’s probably pretty unlikely, because you live in a society where there are resources. Yes, life might get harder, maybe a lot harder, but it might get better too (by, say, finding work you like more), and the chances of you dying because of a job loss are pretty small.
So how do you stop being afraid? Learn about “death”! There’s nothing to fear. At this point, massive evidence exists that one lives on afterwards. Check out
1) World ITC – The new technology of spiritual contact: http://www.worlditc.org,
2) the work of Dr. Ian Stevenson’s group at the University of VA: http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/internet/personalitystudies/, and
3) Near Death Experience and the Afterlife: http://www.near-death.com/.
If you know you are going to live on after “death”, and so are not afraid of it, then what in the world is there to be afraid of?
In addition, here are two other things you can do:
1) Forward this widely (with attribution), so that others will refuse to be afraid.
2) If you are so moved (and because today is the International Day of Peace), you may choose to actively work for peace. One way to do that is to support the Peace Alliance in its efforts to create a Dept. of Peace — check out http://www.thepeacealliance.org/.
Monday, September 11, 2006
The web of creation, part 2
I have recently had a vision of the physical world as a (probably) 5 dimensional matrix, populated by intention. Here’s what I mean:
Imagine that you are looking through a window screen at a tree. At first, you notice the screen, because it is right in front of you, and then, as you pay attention to the tree, its leaves, bark, the way its branches sway in the breeze, you stop noticing the screen.
Now imagine that the screen is three dimensional, or rather four dimensional, because it exists through time. Now imagine that there’s at least another dimension to this. This is the matrix that turns the non-physical into the physical, the basic stuff of the physical universe. Now imagine that the tree exists inside this matrix (because it does). The tree is actually created by intention, from the pure potential held in the spaces between the matrix.
The matrix can be likened to female energy, the intention to male energy. Together, they make the world. Neither alone is enough to create physical reality. You need the female to hold and give form to the male intention.
Now imagine that each thing in the physical world, from the tree to the window screen, to you, all exist as intentions outside of the physical world. These intentions are vibrational fields, auras, which interpenetrate each other. When you can feel yourself as a field of intention, and everything around you as fields of intention, then they all interpenetrate each other.
This interpenetration is the visual or felt equivalent of a band playing music. You can concentrate on just one instrument, and hear that. Or you can hear the whole piece. Or maybe you can hear the interplay of two or three instruments.
Imagine that you are looking through a window screen at a tree. At first, you notice the screen, because it is right in front of you, and then, as you pay attention to the tree, its leaves, bark, the way its branches sway in the breeze, you stop noticing the screen.
Now imagine that the screen is three dimensional, or rather four dimensional, because it exists through time. Now imagine that there’s at least another dimension to this. This is the matrix that turns the non-physical into the physical, the basic stuff of the physical universe. Now imagine that the tree exists inside this matrix (because it does). The tree is actually created by intention, from the pure potential held in the spaces between the matrix.
The matrix can be likened to female energy, the intention to male energy. Together, they make the world. Neither alone is enough to create physical reality. You need the female to hold and give form to the male intention.
Now imagine that each thing in the physical world, from the tree to the window screen, to you, all exist as intentions outside of the physical world. These intentions are vibrational fields, auras, which interpenetrate each other. When you can feel yourself as a field of intention, and everything around you as fields of intention, then they all interpenetrate each other.
This interpenetration is the visual or felt equivalent of a band playing music. You can concentrate on just one instrument, and hear that. Or you can hear the whole piece. Or maybe you can hear the interplay of two or three instruments.
Monday, September 04, 2006
The web of creation
Last Friday I was privileged to be a participant in the first beta test of a new workshop, designed around the Clarity Process, offered by Lee Glickstein of Speaking Circles. The process itself consists of dyads, one person sitting in an open-eyed meditative state, that is, listening with an open heart, not judging, not commenting, for 5 minutes while the other talks about his/her experience in that moment, or perhaps explores a personal issue.
I had an amazing experience! It occurred to me that I am generally doing one of two things. I may be having my own experience, that is, focusing my attention inside myself, on what I am feeling or thinking. Or I may be focusing my attention completely on the other person to whom I am relating, trying to understand what is going on for my partner, to support him or her, to “read” or help or offer my skills in service.
All of a sudden, I realized that our relationship is an entity in and of itself, and thus has its own heart center. In some sense, that heart is something about which we both revolve, like binary stars revolving around their mutual center of gravity. I can both see and feel this “heart of our relationship” psychically. It looks like a little thickening of the energy field, like the heat waves rising off a candle, but spherical because there is no candle. It feels a bit thick too, like static electricity or like the edge of an aura, when felt from outside.
If I connected my heart to the heart of our relationship, magic happened! Both of our auras got bigger and brighter, and something opened up from that place, a connection to the universe itself. I realized that that place is the place where creation, manifestation happens.
At the end of the day, I committed to exploring this phenomenon further in the next few days, which I am doing. I have learned that
- Attending to the heart of my relationship with anything brings on a nearly ecstatic state, which I can experience in the world, and still be walking around. I can access this state on demand, simply by asking, “where is the heart of my relationship with this [fill in the blank]?“, noticing where it is and connecting to it. The state is instantaneous and lasts as long as I am attentive to the heart connection.
- The center of my relationship to anything may or may not be half way in between us. Trees seem to rush out to meet me. One book, “Limitless Mind” by Russell Targ, did the same thing when I opened it, noticing where the heart of our relationship was. So far, no magazines have done this.
- I have a relationship with every thing, every animal, every plant, every person on earth, whether I know it or not, whether I like it or not, whether I come in contact with the physical thing/plant/animal/person or not. If I average where the centers of all these relationships are, it is in my heart. This is why the heart is our connection to the center of the universe, to God (if you like that word). This is why the heart is the center of creation.
- All of us have these connections going on all the time, whether we know it or not, whether we like it or not, whether we come in physical contact with our partners (things/plants/animals/people) or not. This is the web of life, of all of creation.
If you want to try this for yourself, there are 3 steps in awareness:
1) Feel your heart center and place your attention there. (This may take some practice.)
2) Ask the question, “Where is the heart of my connection to [fill in the blank]?” Again, practice with things, plants, animals and people you see. Practice with big things, little things, natural things, hand made things, machine made things, simple things, complex things, small plants, huge trees, fruit, cut flowers, small animals, big animals, pets, insects, people you’re emotionally connected to, acquaintances, complete strangers. Practice, practice, practice.
3) Connect from your heart to the heart of this relationship. Notice what you feel, what you see or hear psychically, what you seem to know about your partner in the relationship, or about the relationship itself.
I had an amazing experience! It occurred to me that I am generally doing one of two things. I may be having my own experience, that is, focusing my attention inside myself, on what I am feeling or thinking. Or I may be focusing my attention completely on the other person to whom I am relating, trying to understand what is going on for my partner, to support him or her, to “read” or help or offer my skills in service.
All of a sudden, I realized that our relationship is an entity in and of itself, and thus has its own heart center. In some sense, that heart is something about which we both revolve, like binary stars revolving around their mutual center of gravity. I can both see and feel this “heart of our relationship” psychically. It looks like a little thickening of the energy field, like the heat waves rising off a candle, but spherical because there is no candle. It feels a bit thick too, like static electricity or like the edge of an aura, when felt from outside.
If I connected my heart to the heart of our relationship, magic happened! Both of our auras got bigger and brighter, and something opened up from that place, a connection to the universe itself. I realized that that place is the place where creation, manifestation happens.
At the end of the day, I committed to exploring this phenomenon further in the next few days, which I am doing. I have learned that
- Attending to the heart of my relationship with anything brings on a nearly ecstatic state, which I can experience in the world, and still be walking around. I can access this state on demand, simply by asking, “where is the heart of my relationship with this [fill in the blank]?“, noticing where it is and connecting to it. The state is instantaneous and lasts as long as I am attentive to the heart connection.
- The center of my relationship to anything may or may not be half way in between us. Trees seem to rush out to meet me. One book, “Limitless Mind” by Russell Targ, did the same thing when I opened it, noticing where the heart of our relationship was. So far, no magazines have done this.
- I have a relationship with every thing, every animal, every plant, every person on earth, whether I know it or not, whether I like it or not, whether I come in contact with the physical thing/plant/animal/person or not. If I average where the centers of all these relationships are, it is in my heart. This is why the heart is our connection to the center of the universe, to God (if you like that word). This is why the heart is the center of creation.
- All of us have these connections going on all the time, whether we know it or not, whether we like it or not, whether we come in physical contact with our partners (things/plants/animals/people) or not. This is the web of life, of all of creation.
If you want to try this for yourself, there are 3 steps in awareness:
1) Feel your heart center and place your attention there. (This may take some practice.)
2) Ask the question, “Where is the heart of my connection to [fill in the blank]?” Again, practice with things, plants, animals and people you see. Practice with big things, little things, natural things, hand made things, machine made things, simple things, complex things, small plants, huge trees, fruit, cut flowers, small animals, big animals, pets, insects, people you’re emotionally connected to, acquaintances, complete strangers. Practice, practice, practice.
3) Connect from your heart to the heart of this relationship. Notice what you feel, what you see or hear psychically, what you seem to know about your partner in the relationship, or about the relationship itself.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
What to do on Labor Day
Have you ever thought about Labor Day? Do you think about it as anything more than just another 3 day weekend? Or perhaps the end of summer? Please consider:
Where else but in America would there be a Labor Day? Not a holiday celebrating the life of a powerful or influential dead person, or commemorating a major struggle or battle (lots of dead people!), but a holiday celebrating the contributions of millions of everyday heroes, including you and me.
If you swing a hammer, Labor Day honors you. If you flip burgers, Labor day honors you. If you analyze a company’s books for a potential lender, Labor Day honors you. If you write software, Labor Day honors you. If you raise kids, Labor Day honors you. If you raise corn or cattle, Labor Day honors you. It honors the contributions you make to the strength, well-being and prosperity of our country.
So take some time on Labor Day to appreciate yourself, the contributions you make, paid or not, to your family and your community and your country. Then appreciate the contributions of those around you — the mail carrier, the checker at the grocery store, the people who built your home and grew your food. We are all in this together. It is our collective vision, our collective voice and our collective service that makes this country what it is, and what it can be.
Where else but in America would there be a Labor Day? Not a holiday celebrating the life of a powerful or influential dead person, or commemorating a major struggle or battle (lots of dead people!), but a holiday celebrating the contributions of millions of everyday heroes, including you and me.
If you swing a hammer, Labor Day honors you. If you flip burgers, Labor day honors you. If you analyze a company’s books for a potential lender, Labor Day honors you. If you write software, Labor Day honors you. If you raise kids, Labor Day honors you. If you raise corn or cattle, Labor Day honors you. It honors the contributions you make to the strength, well-being and prosperity of our country.
So take some time on Labor Day to appreciate yourself, the contributions you make, paid or not, to your family and your community and your country. Then appreciate the contributions of those around you — the mail carrier, the checker at the grocery store, the people who built your home and grew your food. We are all in this together. It is our collective vision, our collective voice and our collective service that makes this country what it is, and what it can be.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Are you a victim of pluralistic ignorance?
The latest polls show that 60% of Americans disapprove of the war in Iraq and want us out. And yet the Republican talking points, as mouthed by Cokie Roberts last Sunday, include “anyone who doesn’t support this war is part of the ’radical left fringe’”.
How can 60% of the population be the fringe of anything? Last time I checked, 60% was a majority, which is to say, the CENTER of public opinion.
How do they get away with this? It’s called pluralistic ignorance. This is the tendency to believe that one’s attitudes are out of step with those of one’s peers, even when everyone’s behavior is the same. And according to Princeton researchers, “those who feel deviant from a perceived norm are reluctant to challenge it.” That is, if you believe everyone else supports a war, but you don’t, you’ll be less likely to speak up. Which means, that all those others who agree with you, but don’t hear you challenging conventional opinion are likely to believe that they’re out of step. Which means that they don’t speak up. And on and on, in a vicious cycle.
In the same way, over half those whose spouse has died report being visited by that spouse after death — and yet contact with those who have dropped their bodies is considered unique, odd or perhaps unbelievable! Again, if you believe you are the only person who is having this contact, then you will be less likely to tell people about it, for fear of being thought odd or wrong. And so a common belief goes unchallenged long beyond the time when most no longer believe it.
How do we combat pluralistic ignorance? See what you see. Hear what you hear. Know what you know. And speak up! Tell other people about what you now believe, whether that’s about an anomalous experience or a political belief. You might be surprised to learn that you’re not odd or out of step at all.
How can 60% of the population be the fringe of anything? Last time I checked, 60% was a majority, which is to say, the CENTER of public opinion.
How do they get away with this? It’s called pluralistic ignorance. This is the tendency to believe that one’s attitudes are out of step with those of one’s peers, even when everyone’s behavior is the same. And according to Princeton researchers, “those who feel deviant from a perceived norm are reluctant to challenge it.” That is, if you believe everyone else supports a war, but you don’t, you’ll be less likely to speak up. Which means, that all those others who agree with you, but don’t hear you challenging conventional opinion are likely to believe that they’re out of step. Which means that they don’t speak up. And on and on, in a vicious cycle.
In the same way, over half those whose spouse has died report being visited by that spouse after death — and yet contact with those who have dropped their bodies is considered unique, odd or perhaps unbelievable! Again, if you believe you are the only person who is having this contact, then you will be less likely to tell people about it, for fear of being thought odd or wrong. And so a common belief goes unchallenged long beyond the time when most no longer believe it.
How do we combat pluralistic ignorance? See what you see. Hear what you hear. Know what you know. And speak up! Tell other people about what you now believe, whether that’s about an anomalous experience or a political belief. You might be surprised to learn that you’re not odd or out of step at all.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
What are you afraid of, anyway?
Terror (n.) - 1. Intense fear
Fear (n.) - 1. A feeling of anxiety or agitation caused by the presence or nearness of danger, evil, pain, etc.; timidity; dread; terror; fright; apprehension
Terror, and terrorists, and fear, including the political uses and abuses of it, are on everyone’s minds and lips these days, so I thought we should look at and talk about fear.
I know no one wants to talk about it. No one wants to experience fear. I used to teach an exercise in emotion recognition, in which students worked in pairs. One student was to experience an emotion by recalling an intense experience of it and really stepping into that experience, recreating it for him/herself. The other student was to notice what they could psychically of his/her partner’s emotional state. Of course, people were thrilled to recall joy or love. Impatience wasn’t too bad, nor was anger. But people REALLY resisted feeling fear, even when I promised to replace it afterwards with a wonderful feeling.
Admit it — you’re all afraid of things all the time. Maybe you’re afraid your teen won’t come home tonight, or you’ll lose your job, or you won’t have enough food for your party, or a dog will bite you, or... (fill in the blank).
The fears that we run from, run our lives. A good friend of mine was bitten by a dog as a child, and is still somewhat afraid of dogs, so she avoids them. I mean, crosses-the-street-so-as-not-to-be-near-one avoids them. Now, most dogs are friendly, and if she watched dogs at all, she’d figure out their body language pretty easily -- the ones that look up at you and wag their tails are friendly and just want love and petting, the ones who snarl at you are, in fact, best avoided, and most of the others aren’t particularly interested in you, so they’re safe as long as you don’t go out of your way to bother them. If she paid attention, she would learn to look at a dog, judge its friendliness and act accordingly. The fear would dissipate, replaced by intelligent judgment. Direct your attention to that which you fear, really examine it, and the fear will dissipate.
What is she afraid of, really? She’s afraid of being bitten again, which is to say, she’s afraid of physical pain, as well as the emotional pain (in this case, confusion and abandonment) she experienced when being bitten as a child.
In my experience, and I’ve dealt with lots of my own fears, as well as those of many friends and clients, is that most fears really are an unconscious fear of death. How do I know? When I ask people what they’re afraid of, they answer, and then I ask, “if that happens, what then?” And they keep answering, and I keep asking, until there’s nothing else. And generally the answer is death. If you believe that your soul exists after you let go of your physical body, how bad is that anyway?
Another big fear is emotional or physical pain, so bad that death would be preferable. First, most emotional pain, if you keep asking, “what then?”, becomes the fear of death, either for oneself or a loved one, which often becomes fear of abandonment, which becomes fear of your own death. Again, if the soul exists without a body, and you “die”, how bad is that? Or if the other person “dies”, then they aren’t really gone — we just need to practice communicating with the discarnate. As for physical pain, it is mostly temporary. I must admit, though, I haven’t got an answer yet for long term physical pain. (If you have trouble with really seeing your own fear, get someone else to help you. Fear is in the eye of the beholder, and it’s hard to see the mote in your own eye.)
The next question is, how likely is this to happen? And the answer is generally, not very likely. And if it is likely, aren’t you better off looking at it, so you can figure out what to do to avoid it, mitigate it or deal with it when it happens?
Now we’re supposed to be afraid of “terrorists”. Hmmm... What does that mean exactly? I think it means we should be afraid of being randomly murdered, i.e. be afraid of dying, or at the very least wounded, or afraid that someone we know will be randomly murdered or wounded. Again, how bad is death? And how likely is this, anyway? About 3,000 US residents, of a population of around 300 million, were killed in terror attacks in the last 10 years. That is, the chance of this happening to you this year is literally 1 in 1,000,000.
So when you’re afraid, ask yourself three questions:
What am I afraid of?
If that happens, what then? (and keep on asking this one)
How likely is this, anyway?
Fear (n.) - 1. A feeling of anxiety or agitation caused by the presence or nearness of danger, evil, pain, etc.; timidity; dread; terror; fright; apprehension
Terror, and terrorists, and fear, including the political uses and abuses of it, are on everyone’s minds and lips these days, so I thought we should look at and talk about fear.
I know no one wants to talk about it. No one wants to experience fear. I used to teach an exercise in emotion recognition, in which students worked in pairs. One student was to experience an emotion by recalling an intense experience of it and really stepping into that experience, recreating it for him/herself. The other student was to notice what they could psychically of his/her partner’s emotional state. Of course, people were thrilled to recall joy or love. Impatience wasn’t too bad, nor was anger. But people REALLY resisted feeling fear, even when I promised to replace it afterwards with a wonderful feeling.
Admit it — you’re all afraid of things all the time. Maybe you’re afraid your teen won’t come home tonight, or you’ll lose your job, or you won’t have enough food for your party, or a dog will bite you, or... (fill in the blank).
The fears that we run from, run our lives. A good friend of mine was bitten by a dog as a child, and is still somewhat afraid of dogs, so she avoids them. I mean, crosses-the-street-so-as-not-to-be-near-one avoids them. Now, most dogs are friendly, and if she watched dogs at all, she’d figure out their body language pretty easily -- the ones that look up at you and wag their tails are friendly and just want love and petting, the ones who snarl at you are, in fact, best avoided, and most of the others aren’t particularly interested in you, so they’re safe as long as you don’t go out of your way to bother them. If she paid attention, she would learn to look at a dog, judge its friendliness and act accordingly. The fear would dissipate, replaced by intelligent judgment. Direct your attention to that which you fear, really examine it, and the fear will dissipate.
What is she afraid of, really? She’s afraid of being bitten again, which is to say, she’s afraid of physical pain, as well as the emotional pain (in this case, confusion and abandonment) she experienced when being bitten as a child.
In my experience, and I’ve dealt with lots of my own fears, as well as those of many friends and clients, is that most fears really are an unconscious fear of death. How do I know? When I ask people what they’re afraid of, they answer, and then I ask, “if that happens, what then?” And they keep answering, and I keep asking, until there’s nothing else. And generally the answer is death. If you believe that your soul exists after you let go of your physical body, how bad is that anyway?
Another big fear is emotional or physical pain, so bad that death would be preferable. First, most emotional pain, if you keep asking, “what then?”, becomes the fear of death, either for oneself or a loved one, which often becomes fear of abandonment, which becomes fear of your own death. Again, if the soul exists without a body, and you “die”, how bad is that? Or if the other person “dies”, then they aren’t really gone — we just need to practice communicating with the discarnate. As for physical pain, it is mostly temporary. I must admit, though, I haven’t got an answer yet for long term physical pain. (If you have trouble with really seeing your own fear, get someone else to help you. Fear is in the eye of the beholder, and it’s hard to see the mote in your own eye.)
The next question is, how likely is this to happen? And the answer is generally, not very likely. And if it is likely, aren’t you better off looking at it, so you can figure out what to do to avoid it, mitigate it or deal with it when it happens?
Now we’re supposed to be afraid of “terrorists”. Hmmm... What does that mean exactly? I think it means we should be afraid of being randomly murdered, i.e. be afraid of dying, or at the very least wounded, or afraid that someone we know will be randomly murdered or wounded. Again, how bad is death? And how likely is this, anyway? About 3,000 US residents, of a population of around 300 million, were killed in terror attacks in the last 10 years. That is, the chance of this happening to you this year is literally 1 in 1,000,000.
So when you’re afraid, ask yourself three questions:
What am I afraid of?
If that happens, what then? (and keep on asking this one)
How likely is this, anyway?
Monday, August 14, 2006
How to end war (modest, aren't I?)
The source of all conflict is one of 2 things:
a belief in, and fear of, scarcity, or
fear of being wrong,
both of which result in feeling unsafe.
How do these create conflict?
A belief in, and fear of, scarcity causes people to attack to get what they believe there is not enough of. That might be a child who lies about the bad things her sister did because she believes there is not enough parental love to go around. It might be a farmer who steals a sheep because he believes it is the only way to feed his family. It might be a country who attacks another because of supposedly scarce resources of oil.
We know these are false — there is always enough love in the universe for everyone, because the universe is made of love, there is generally more than one way to feed a family, and there is more then one source of energy to power the world (the inexhaustible sun and wind come to mind, but there are other possible, less pleasant sources as well.) And that belief in scarcity causes those who are attacked to defend themselves, their families, their possessions and their land. I might add that the belief in the scarcity of life (i.e. that you only have one) and the scarcity of love (you can only love a finite number of people, who are related to you by birth) compound these defenses.
Fear of being wrong is the same as the need to be right. Who hasn’t needed to be right, whether it’s about the toilet seat being left up or put down, or the best career path for my child to take, or which direction the country should go? Being right makes you safe, doesn’t it? If I’m right, if I know, then all will be right in my world. Thus religious certainty becomes important. So if “God told me to” do whatever, then I’m right, which makes me safe. And if I’m wrong about “God’s message”, then what else am I wrong about? What can I be certain of? How can I possibly be safe? My world falls apart. (For a good discussion related to this, read John Dean’s “Conservatives without Conscience”, Chapter 2.)
So when you are angry, or hostile, or feeling anger or hostility from another, ask these questions:
1. What specifically am I afraid of?
2. What is there not enough of?
3. What do I “have to” be right about?
4. What do I need to feel safe?
5. How else could I get what I need?
6. What might my opponent, also known as my partner in this, be afraid of?
7. What does my partner think that there isn’t enough of?
8. What does my partner “have to” be right about?
9. What does my partner need to feel safe?
10. How can I help my partner get what he/she/they need?
11. How are we aligned?
You may find that anger or hostility are completely unnecessary.
Believe that there is enough, in one way or another, and you will find it. Accept that you don’t know, and you’ll find peace.
a belief in, and fear of, scarcity, or
fear of being wrong,
both of which result in feeling unsafe.
How do these create conflict?
A belief in, and fear of, scarcity causes people to attack to get what they believe there is not enough of. That might be a child who lies about the bad things her sister did because she believes there is not enough parental love to go around. It might be a farmer who steals a sheep because he believes it is the only way to feed his family. It might be a country who attacks another because of supposedly scarce resources of oil.
We know these are false — there is always enough love in the universe for everyone, because the universe is made of love, there is generally more than one way to feed a family, and there is more then one source of energy to power the world (the inexhaustible sun and wind come to mind, but there are other possible, less pleasant sources as well.) And that belief in scarcity causes those who are attacked to defend themselves, their families, their possessions and their land. I might add that the belief in the scarcity of life (i.e. that you only have one) and the scarcity of love (you can only love a finite number of people, who are related to you by birth) compound these defenses.
Fear of being wrong is the same as the need to be right. Who hasn’t needed to be right, whether it’s about the toilet seat being left up or put down, or the best career path for my child to take, or which direction the country should go? Being right makes you safe, doesn’t it? If I’m right, if I know, then all will be right in my world. Thus religious certainty becomes important. So if “God told me to” do whatever, then I’m right, which makes me safe. And if I’m wrong about “God’s message”, then what else am I wrong about? What can I be certain of? How can I possibly be safe? My world falls apart. (For a good discussion related to this, read John Dean’s “Conservatives without Conscience”, Chapter 2.)
So when you are angry, or hostile, or feeling anger or hostility from another, ask these questions:
1. What specifically am I afraid of?
2. What is there not enough of?
3. What do I “have to” be right about?
4. What do I need to feel safe?
5. How else could I get what I need?
6. What might my opponent, also known as my partner in this, be afraid of?
7. What does my partner think that there isn’t enough of?
8. What does my partner “have to” be right about?
9. What does my partner need to feel safe?
10. How can I help my partner get what he/she/they need?
11. How are we aligned?
You may find that anger or hostility are completely unnecessary.
Believe that there is enough, in one way or another, and you will find it. Accept that you don’t know, and you’ll find peace.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Our connection
Last week, my radio show only had two calls, when what I really want is 8 – 10! The last time that happened, which was several months ago, I was totally bummed out, thinking, “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with my show? Is anyone even listening?” This time, it was very different. I enjoyed doing the show anyway, and I left feeling totally energized, absolutely knowing I had done the right thing. What changed between the 2 shows?
On an external level, a couple of things changed. First, I had an interview scheduled for half an hour, so I got to talk to someone I find interesting. And I figure if it’s interesting to me, it’s probably interesting to those listening. So that was fun. Second, in between those two shows, I’ve had a few people call and email to tell me how much they enjoy the show, and that it’s helpful to them. It helps to remember that on a slow day.
But more importantly, I could actually feel positive energy coming back to me from people I can’t see, haven’t me, haven’t even talked with. It’s like a wave arising in me, buoying me up from the inside, with the certain knowledge that I did something right. This is new for me.
Yes, I know I’m part of all that is, and connected to each person on the planet. I know that I’m often connected to someone that I’m not in front of, next to, or talking to at any given moment, so that I’ll think something, and then the other person will do or say what I’m thinking, without me communicating it to him or her. For example, a couple of weeks ago, someone on this list, whom I’ve never met or even had a phone conversation with, asked if she could include my piece on manifestation in her monthly on-line magazine. Of course, I said yes. When I sent out last week’s “Zen Boogie”, I thought she would like it even better, because she lives on a beach in Belize. Then I thought, too bad she’s running the chair piece, since I know she’ll like this one better. And I just let it go. And then, there was “Zen Boogie” in the magazine! (I really love this magazine — all the articles in it are wonderful, and even the art is lovely. You can check it out at http://www.animamedia.org/envision/envisionAugust.pdf.)
But this “radio effect” is different. It’s being connected to lots of people I can’t even identify. That is, I don’t know them in any conscious way -- don’t know their names, or their faces, or their voices. Nothing. No conscious connection at all. Yet somehow, when I reach them, their energy reaches me. Wow! Yes, it could be my guides “telling” me that I did a good thing, but they’ve done that other times, and it feels nothing like this rush. I’ve heard that performers get this from a live audience — now I know why they perform. And I wonder, do they get this if they, say, record a television program and it gets aired later? Do they feel an energy rush when it’s on the air? Do they get it when it’s rerun?
That energy hit is part of what keeps me going back for more. And I’m sending it right backatcha.
On an external level, a couple of things changed. First, I had an interview scheduled for half an hour, so I got to talk to someone I find interesting. And I figure if it’s interesting to me, it’s probably interesting to those listening. So that was fun. Second, in between those two shows, I’ve had a few people call and email to tell me how much they enjoy the show, and that it’s helpful to them. It helps to remember that on a slow day.
But more importantly, I could actually feel positive energy coming back to me from people I can’t see, haven’t me, haven’t even talked with. It’s like a wave arising in me, buoying me up from the inside, with the certain knowledge that I did something right. This is new for me.
Yes, I know I’m part of all that is, and connected to each person on the planet. I know that I’m often connected to someone that I’m not in front of, next to, or talking to at any given moment, so that I’ll think something, and then the other person will do or say what I’m thinking, without me communicating it to him or her. For example, a couple of weeks ago, someone on this list, whom I’ve never met or even had a phone conversation with, asked if she could include my piece on manifestation in her monthly on-line magazine. Of course, I said yes. When I sent out last week’s “Zen Boogie”, I thought she would like it even better, because she lives on a beach in Belize. Then I thought, too bad she’s running the chair piece, since I know she’ll like this one better. And I just let it go. And then, there was “Zen Boogie” in the magazine! (I really love this magazine — all the articles in it are wonderful, and even the art is lovely. You can check it out at http://www.animamedia.org/envision/envisionAugust.pdf.)
But this “radio effect” is different. It’s being connected to lots of people I can’t even identify. That is, I don’t know them in any conscious way -- don’t know their names, or their faces, or their voices. Nothing. No conscious connection at all. Yet somehow, when I reach them, their energy reaches me. Wow! Yes, it could be my guides “telling” me that I did a good thing, but they’ve done that other times, and it feels nothing like this rush. I’ve heard that performers get this from a live audience — now I know why they perform. And I wonder, do they get this if they, say, record a television program and it gets aired later? Do they feel an energy rush when it’s on the air? Do they get it when it’s rerun?
That energy hit is part of what keeps me going back for more. And I’m sending it right backatcha.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Zen boogie
In the heat wave we’ve been having lately, I’ve often gone to the ocean to cool off and enjoy one of my favorite childhood pastimes — riding waves. As a kid, I body surfed, and occasionally used a kick board or inflatable raft to catch a wave. A few years ago, in Hawaii, I discovered the added power of a boogie board. Then, 2 years ago, I finally bought a wet suit, so I can play in the surf in northern California. As I was floating in the ocean the other day, I reflected on a few things it has taught me:
*You can’t hurry a wave. All you can do is enjoy the wait. And if you don’t enjoy the wait, get out of the ocean. Life is like that, too. You can get in position, like you do waiting for a wave, but you can’t make everything happen. You might as well enjoy life while you’re waiting for the wave — enjoy the rocking of the ocean, the sun on your head, the taste of salt on your lips. If you’re waiting for a life wave, enjoy your family, your friends, the sun on your face, good food, a comfortable bed.
*Some things are worth waiting for. There is nothing like catching the perfect wave just right — the rush when it catches you (or you catch it?) and the loooooong ride, really being part of the wave, feeling it flow through you. Some things in life are worth waiting for, too — the right partner, your life’s work.
*Some things are worth working for. It takes a lot to get into that ocean — I have to get the wet suit, booties, boogie board, and towels into the car, drive 11 minutes to the beach, find parking (quite difficult on a warm day!), tug on the wetsuit, which is like pulling stiff casing on a bologna, and wearing this stiff thing, tug on the booties, find a place to hide my car key, creak in the wetsuit down to the ocean, dragging the board, and endure the leaking of icy water into the wet suit. But that first ride is so worth all of it!
* We are connected to all of life, no matter how protected — or separate -- we think we are. That wet suit insulates me a bit from the cold, but it doesn’t protect me from sharks. And it’s a wet suit because the sea does get inside it. As I’m there in the sea, I’m always reminded that we, as humans, are mostly water, with a proportion of salts something similar to the ocean.
*Being part of something is magical. When you body surf, and you catch a wave just right, you are part of the wave, in a way that language can’t capture. And it is amazing, magical, cosmic — everyone should have the experience at least once. Being part of a positive group’s energy is magical, too, though in a less physical way, and everyone should have that experience at least once, too.
* Life is a series of tradeoffs. I can ride a wave with a boogie board, in which case I get more, and longer, rides, but the board keeps me a bit separate from the wave, or without a boogie board, in which case I’m more part of the wave, but I get fewer rides, and they’re shorter. Both are terrific, just in different ways. And I can choose differently at different times.
* You don’t control the waves, you only control your response. I can choose where to wait in the ocean, when to push off, how hard to paddle and kick, where my body weight is on the board, and my equipment. But the waves come when they come, break where they break. Period. Such is life.
*You can’t hurry a wave. All you can do is enjoy the wait. And if you don’t enjoy the wait, get out of the ocean. Life is like that, too. You can get in position, like you do waiting for a wave, but you can’t make everything happen. You might as well enjoy life while you’re waiting for the wave — enjoy the rocking of the ocean, the sun on your head, the taste of salt on your lips. If you’re waiting for a life wave, enjoy your family, your friends, the sun on your face, good food, a comfortable bed.
*Some things are worth waiting for. There is nothing like catching the perfect wave just right — the rush when it catches you (or you catch it?) and the loooooong ride, really being part of the wave, feeling it flow through you. Some things in life are worth waiting for, too — the right partner, your life’s work.
*Some things are worth working for. It takes a lot to get into that ocean — I have to get the wet suit, booties, boogie board, and towels into the car, drive 11 minutes to the beach, find parking (quite difficult on a warm day!), tug on the wetsuit, which is like pulling stiff casing on a bologna, and wearing this stiff thing, tug on the booties, find a place to hide my car key, creak in the wetsuit down to the ocean, dragging the board, and endure the leaking of icy water into the wet suit. But that first ride is so worth all of it!
* We are connected to all of life, no matter how protected — or separate -- we think we are. That wet suit insulates me a bit from the cold, but it doesn’t protect me from sharks. And it’s a wet suit because the sea does get inside it. As I’m there in the sea, I’m always reminded that we, as humans, are mostly water, with a proportion of salts something similar to the ocean.
*Being part of something is magical. When you body surf, and you catch a wave just right, you are part of the wave, in a way that language can’t capture. And it is amazing, magical, cosmic — everyone should have the experience at least once. Being part of a positive group’s energy is magical, too, though in a less physical way, and everyone should have that experience at least once, too.
* Life is a series of tradeoffs. I can ride a wave with a boogie board, in which case I get more, and longer, rides, but the board keeps me a bit separate from the wave, or without a boogie board, in which case I’m more part of the wave, but I get fewer rides, and they’re shorter. Both are terrific, just in different ways. And I can choose differently at different times.
* You don’t control the waves, you only control your response. I can choose where to wait in the ocean, when to push off, how hard to paddle and kick, where my body weight is on the board, and my equipment. But the waves come when they come, break where they break. Period. Such is life.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Why willpower won't work... and what will
Have you ever started a diet, or an exercise program, or a substance elimination program (like cigarettes, alcohol, coffee), and quit after a while? And then blamed yourself, saying, “if only I had more will power”?
Well, maybe it isn’t that you don’t have enough will power, it’s that will power simply isn’t the answer. Webster’s defines “will power” as “strength of will, mind or determination; self-control”. That last bit, “self-control” gives a clue as to the problem. If you have to control yourself, then it implies that one part of you has to control another, that 2 parts of you want different things, that 2 parts of you are fighting. Did war ever create anything good? Did war ever create anything besides destruction? So why are you having two parts of yourself at war?
Another issue is that the part of you which decided to start the diet (or whatever) is your conscious mind — which is maybe 10% of your entire mind-body system. So what does the other 90% want? It wants what it has now, or it wouldn’t have created it.
The answer is in alignment. All of your body-mind has to be aligned, has to want the same thing, and then change is easy. How do you get there? There are many paths, including hypnotherapy, neurolinguistics, energy healing, emotional freedom technique.
So first, thank the part (or parts) of you that created unconsciously what you have now. They’re awesome! Could you really have created what is consciously? Could you even go a minute creating your body consciously? Think of it — breathing, moving the blood around, creating new cells, having all those cells function properly, digestion. It’s awesome!
Now ask those parts of you what they wanted for you that was good, which created the way things are now. Then work with those parts of you, peacefully, to agree on what you want instead, and to begin to create that gently, in appreciation for all they do. You may be amazed at how easily you change!
If you’d like some free help with this, call me now, on-air at 831-427-3772.
Well, maybe it isn’t that you don’t have enough will power, it’s that will power simply isn’t the answer. Webster’s defines “will power” as “strength of will, mind or determination; self-control”. That last bit, “self-control” gives a clue as to the problem. If you have to control yourself, then it implies that one part of you has to control another, that 2 parts of you want different things, that 2 parts of you are fighting. Did war ever create anything good? Did war ever create anything besides destruction? So why are you having two parts of yourself at war?
Another issue is that the part of you which decided to start the diet (or whatever) is your conscious mind — which is maybe 10% of your entire mind-body system. So what does the other 90% want? It wants what it has now, or it wouldn’t have created it.
The answer is in alignment. All of your body-mind has to be aligned, has to want the same thing, and then change is easy. How do you get there? There are many paths, including hypnotherapy, neurolinguistics, energy healing, emotional freedom technique.
So first, thank the part (or parts) of you that created unconsciously what you have now. They’re awesome! Could you really have created what is consciously? Could you even go a minute creating your body consciously? Think of it — breathing, moving the blood around, creating new cells, having all those cells function properly, digestion. It’s awesome!
Now ask those parts of you what they wanted for you that was good, which created the way things are now. Then work with those parts of you, peacefully, to agree on what you want instead, and to begin to create that gently, in appreciation for all they do. You may be amazed at how easily you change!
If you’d like some free help with this, call me now, on-air at 831-427-3772.
If you're feeling stuck...
Over the years, I have really come to believe that (as Jane Roberts wrote in the 1970’s) “you create your reality through your beliefs”. So many times, I have seen that by changing a belief, my reality immediately showed up differently. And I have seen that for my friends and clients as well.
We are each in charge of our own beliefs. If something is going wrong in your life, there is probably a belief, in fact, probably an unconscious belief, that would benefit from a change. I have lots of tools to help you change your beliefs, and I learned some new linguistic ones last weekend, at an NLP workshop called Sleight of Mouth.
Although this is a major oversimplification, Sleight of Mouth is basically asking very good questions to loosen the belief, that is, to make you question whether or not it is really true. Here are a few of those questions, using as an example the belief that “If people knew who I really am, they wouldn’t like me”:
* What is the effect of that in your life? (You feel doomed to living a lie, and are shutting down parts of yourself.)
* Your belief implies a certain value. Aren’t there other values that are more important to you? Given the importance of these other values, how are you going to maintain this belief? (Isn’t it more important to be true to yourself than to be liked?)
* Can you think of a counterexample? A time, a place, or a person for whom this wasn’t true? (Can you think of a time you got what you wanted by telling the truth, by just being who you were?)
* How do you know this is true? What evidence do you have? (If you’ve never been genuine, how do you know that people won’t like the real you?)
Next time you feel stuck, try asking yourself what you would have to believe for that to be true, and then try asking these questions. It might just shift you off the path you’ve been on.
We are each in charge of our own beliefs. If something is going wrong in your life, there is probably a belief, in fact, probably an unconscious belief, that would benefit from a change. I have lots of tools to help you change your beliefs, and I learned some new linguistic ones last weekend, at an NLP workshop called Sleight of Mouth.
Although this is a major oversimplification, Sleight of Mouth is basically asking very good questions to loosen the belief, that is, to make you question whether or not it is really true. Here are a few of those questions, using as an example the belief that “If people knew who I really am, they wouldn’t like me”:
* What is the effect of that in your life? (You feel doomed to living a lie, and are shutting down parts of yourself.)
* Your belief implies a certain value. Aren’t there other values that are more important to you? Given the importance of these other values, how are you going to maintain this belief? (Isn’t it more important to be true to yourself than to be liked?)
* Can you think of a counterexample? A time, a place, or a person for whom this wasn’t true? (Can you think of a time you got what you wanted by telling the truth, by just being who you were?)
* How do you know this is true? What evidence do you have? (If you’ve never been genuine, how do you know that people won’t like the real you?)
Next time you feel stuck, try asking yourself what you would have to believe for that to be true, and then try asking these questions. It might just shift you off the path you’ve been on.
What I learned from spring fever
I don’t know about you, but there is always a week in spring where I just don’t want to do anything, except sit around and enjoy the weather. I want to be out in it to enjoy it, and the rest of the time, I mostly want to sleep. Perhaps read a bit, but mostly just drift in and out of waking consciousness... into meditation... into sleep... back to meditation.... You get the picture.
This is that week. It’s amazing I’m even managing to write this email.
Anyway, today I was lying about in the middle of the afternoon, feeling guilty. Why was I feeling guilty? I mean, there wasn’t anything I had to do that wasn’t getting done. Yes, of course, there’s always more I could do when I’m not with clients, between promotion and bookkeeping, but no one was going to be hurt if I didn’t do it then. So what was that guilt?
I think guilt happens when a part of you accepts someone else’s rules as your own. You know, all those “shoulds”, “oughts” and “musts”. As in, “you should be working”, which is definitely family programming for me. Obviously if all of you bought into the rule, you’d be working, instead of feeling guilty! So part of you is buying in and part of you isn’t. The part of you that isn’t buying in is obviously stronger at that point. And the positive intention of the guilt is to remind you of the rule, or maybe to tie you to the person who gave you the rule. Although in general I agree with the “you should be working” rule, I don’t agree that it has to be in force 24/7, and especially not on a perfect afternoon in May, not when I work for myself. And though the rule is my Dad’s and I do like that it connects me to him, hey, not today!
So the next time you feel guilty, ask yourself these questions:
- What am I feeling guilty about? What am I doing or not doing that is triggering the guilt?
- What’s the rule I’m violating? Try to formulate it with a “should”, “must” or “ought”.
- Whose rule is that, anyway?
- Do I agree with the rule, or am I just using it to stay connected in some way to that person?
- Even if I agree with the rule, does the rule apply now?
If the answer to either of the last 2 questions is no, then let go of the guilt and enjoy what you’re choosing instead!
Hollis
PS – I went back to sleep for another hour, guilt-free! :)
This is that week. It’s amazing I’m even managing to write this email.
Anyway, today I was lying about in the middle of the afternoon, feeling guilty. Why was I feeling guilty? I mean, there wasn’t anything I had to do that wasn’t getting done. Yes, of course, there’s always more I could do when I’m not with clients, between promotion and bookkeeping, but no one was going to be hurt if I didn’t do it then. So what was that guilt?
I think guilt happens when a part of you accepts someone else’s rules as your own. You know, all those “shoulds”, “oughts” and “musts”. As in, “you should be working”, which is definitely family programming for me. Obviously if all of you bought into the rule, you’d be working, instead of feeling guilty! So part of you is buying in and part of you isn’t. The part of you that isn’t buying in is obviously stronger at that point. And the positive intention of the guilt is to remind you of the rule, or maybe to tie you to the person who gave you the rule. Although in general I agree with the “you should be working” rule, I don’t agree that it has to be in force 24/7, and especially not on a perfect afternoon in May, not when I work for myself. And though the rule is my Dad’s and I do like that it connects me to him, hey, not today!
So the next time you feel guilty, ask yourself these questions:
- What am I feeling guilty about? What am I doing or not doing that is triggering the guilt?
- What’s the rule I’m violating? Try to formulate it with a “should”, “must” or “ought”.
- Whose rule is that, anyway?
- Do I agree with the rule, or am I just using it to stay connected in some way to that person?
- Even if I agree with the rule, does the rule apply now?
If the answer to either of the last 2 questions is no, then let go of the guilt and enjoy what you’re choosing instead!
Hollis
PS – I went back to sleep for another hour, guilt-free! :)
If you're lonely, or know someone who is...
You are not alone — in more ways than one. First, according to the NY Times:
A recent study by sociologists at Duke and the University of Arizona found that, on average, most adults only have two people they can talk to about the most important subjects in their lives — serious health problems, for example, or issues like who will care for their children should they die. And about one-quarter have no close confidants at all. [emphasis mine]
So there are lots of lonely people out there.
Second, each of us is surrounded by a number of discarnate beings, most of whom (I believe) are there to help us, whether we call them guides or angels, and who may include friends and family who have left their bodies while we are still in ours. Our job is to understand our connection to them, to “hear” what they are “saying”, and to feel their presence in our lives. You are never really alone, even if it feels that way at times.
What to do to have good friends here in the physical plane?
First off, you don’t make new old friends — so connect with the old ones!
Second, make new friends -- meet new people in ways that you enjoy. If that isn’t possible through your work, maybe it is possible through volunteer work, or a church or community group, or groups of people who are interested in things you like to do. If you like to hike, try the Sierra Club. If you like to play bridge, find people who do that. But here is my favorite way to make new friends:
Learn skills to help your self-development, in particular, learn to become a practitioner of whatever method appeals to you. Why? First, these classes foster openness, and draw to them the type of people who are also willing to be open. These are the people you are most likely to be able to confide in. After all, after Chris has helped you conquer your dread of long car trips, without laughter or ridicule, and you’ve helped Chris eliminate a cat allergy, you can probably trust each other with an awful lot. And both you and Chris will have some skills to help each other with whatever comes up. Second, these classes are not one shot — you usually show up for several weekends, over several months, so there are lots of opportunities to interact, both in these deeper exercises and in informal ways, like having lunch. Yes, it’s a commitment, but that’s what learning, and self-development, and true friendship all take.
A recent study by sociologists at Duke and the University of Arizona found that, on average, most adults only have two people they can talk to about the most important subjects in their lives — serious health problems, for example, or issues like who will care for their children should they die. And about one-quarter have no close confidants at all. [emphasis mine]
So there are lots of lonely people out there.
Second, each of us is surrounded by a number of discarnate beings, most of whom (I believe) are there to help us, whether we call them guides or angels, and who may include friends and family who have left their bodies while we are still in ours. Our job is to understand our connection to them, to “hear” what they are “saying”, and to feel their presence in our lives. You are never really alone, even if it feels that way at times.
What to do to have good friends here in the physical plane?
First off, you don’t make new old friends — so connect with the old ones!
Second, make new friends -- meet new people in ways that you enjoy. If that isn’t possible through your work, maybe it is possible through volunteer work, or a church or community group, or groups of people who are interested in things you like to do. If you like to hike, try the Sierra Club. If you like to play bridge, find people who do that. But here is my favorite way to make new friends:
Learn skills to help your self-development, in particular, learn to become a practitioner of whatever method appeals to you. Why? First, these classes foster openness, and draw to them the type of people who are also willing to be open. These are the people you are most likely to be able to confide in. After all, after Chris has helped you conquer your dread of long car trips, without laughter or ridicule, and you’ve helped Chris eliminate a cat allergy, you can probably trust each other with an awful lot. And both you and Chris will have some skills to help each other with whatever comes up. Second, these classes are not one shot — you usually show up for several weekends, over several months, so there are lots of opportunities to interact, both in these deeper exercises and in informal ways, like having lunch. Yes, it’s a commitment, but that’s what learning, and self-development, and true friendship all take.
Manifestation is easy!
I manage some rental apartments, which are a good distance from my home, so when I have a vacancy, I go there and “camp” in the vacant apartment until it is cleaned up and rented. So I have a “kit” composed of everything I need to live indefinitely (except groceries), which fits in my trunk and part of the back seat.
Part of this kit is 2 folding beach chairs. The one I prefer has a higher back and is blue, but the fabric is starting to rip in a way that is not reparable. Bummer! I want a replacement. Anyway, it’s not desperate, but I hate to buy a new one – I hate to waste the planet’s resources on something as silly as this, and I’d rather spend my money on something else. You have to buy beach chairs in the summer, because they aren’t available in the winter. Will my chair last another year? I have gone so far as to try out chairs in the drug store, but nothing is so perfect that I can’t pass (they’re too high, or an ugly pattern or color). And really, I’d prefer a slightly used one. I could get on freecycle.org, but it’s not important enough to me to keep looking.
The house 3 doors down is being sold, and they’ve started to put stuff out in the driveway that they are just getting rid of. Free! but no sign, or anything, I think they are eventually going to call the scavengers to pick it up. And wouldn’t you know that the PERFECT beach chair, high back and blue, great condition, even wooden arms, is there in the pile! So I took it — saves it going into the dump and me about $20. And more resources didn’t have to go into making a new one.
So: manifestation can be easy – be clear about what you want, put it out in the universe, and then wait for it to show up!
Part of this kit is 2 folding beach chairs. The one I prefer has a higher back and is blue, but the fabric is starting to rip in a way that is not reparable. Bummer! I want a replacement. Anyway, it’s not desperate, but I hate to buy a new one – I hate to waste the planet’s resources on something as silly as this, and I’d rather spend my money on something else. You have to buy beach chairs in the summer, because they aren’t available in the winter. Will my chair last another year? I have gone so far as to try out chairs in the drug store, but nothing is so perfect that I can’t pass (they’re too high, or an ugly pattern or color). And really, I’d prefer a slightly used one. I could get on freecycle.org, but it’s not important enough to me to keep looking.
The house 3 doors down is being sold, and they’ve started to put stuff out in the driveway that they are just getting rid of. Free! but no sign, or anything, I think they are eventually going to call the scavengers to pick it up. And wouldn’t you know that the PERFECT beach chair, high back and blue, great condition, even wooden arms, is there in the pile! So I took it — saves it going into the dump and me about $20. And more resources didn’t have to go into making a new one.
So: manifestation can be easy – be clear about what you want, put it out in the universe, and then wait for it to show up!
Stay positive -- stay focused
It seems I’ve been having, or hearing, the same discussion over and over in the last week, whether with friends, or clients, or on a worldpuja.org webcast about peace, or by Michael Murphy, talking about what happens after your physical body dies. So I figure this must be up for a lot of us.
Yes, there’s a lot of awful stuff going on in the world right now, whether it’s war, or climate change (do go see “An Inconvenient Truth” about global warming), or losing our civil rights, or the theft of elections. But we can NOT give in to the thought of how awful this is. We must keep our hearts and minds on what we intend to create. How do we do this?
First, we take vows. There are lifetime vows, perhaps to do with life purpose, or spiritual purpose. There are periodic vows, perhaps about attaining a goal, or living in a different way. Then there are daily vows, sometimes called affirmations, which may include either of the above.
Second, and much less obviously, we have to avoid, or push away from us, disempowering thoughts. This is much trickier, because these thoughts show up in a myriad of ways, have come from many sources, and sneak in when we’re not paying attention. Any time you doubt your abilities, any time you think a task is too big, any time something inside says, “Who do you think you are to do this? So you think you’re all that... You aren’t. You’ll never make it,” you have to say, “thanks for sharing, but I CAN DO this, and I AM all that, and I WILL make it.”
Let me give you an example. My friend, Kit, is an awesome healer, a massage therapist who is a talented channel as well. Lately, she has been prompted by her guides to do some writing about how she heals, which is apparently something new. Every time she sits down to write, very energized by the prospect of the work, she hears an internal voice, which says, “You’ll never make it — you think you’re so great -- you’ll never be able to take care of yourself”. This, quite understandably, takes the wind out of her sails, she gets bummed out and doesn’t do the writing.
As she talked about it with me, she realized it was the voice of her father, when she was about 16. He wanted her to need him as she had when she was younger, to depend on him for money, and thereby to control her, so he was actively scaring her about her job prospects. He was also genuinely concerned for her well-being, since he thought of the world as a dangerous and deceitful place. For her to succeed would have meant that he was wrong about the world, and could not control her. It was not particularly helpful to her then, and as an adult, it’s unbelievably disempowering. She must remember that she can succeed on her own terms, and still be connected to him. Yes, it would mean that he was wrong about her and about the world, but that’s his problem, not hers. And she doesn’t have to bring it up with him, ever.
So when those thoughts pop up, spend a little time to discover from where they arise, and then let them go — or give them the boot! Those negative thoughts don’t serve you — and they don’t serve the world. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for, so turn off the negative thoughts, and follow the positive ones.
Yes, there’s a lot of awful stuff going on in the world right now, whether it’s war, or climate change (do go see “An Inconvenient Truth” about global warming), or losing our civil rights, or the theft of elections. But we can NOT give in to the thought of how awful this is. We must keep our hearts and minds on what we intend to create. How do we do this?
First, we take vows. There are lifetime vows, perhaps to do with life purpose, or spiritual purpose. There are periodic vows, perhaps about attaining a goal, or living in a different way. Then there are daily vows, sometimes called affirmations, which may include either of the above.
Second, and much less obviously, we have to avoid, or push away from us, disempowering thoughts. This is much trickier, because these thoughts show up in a myriad of ways, have come from many sources, and sneak in when we’re not paying attention. Any time you doubt your abilities, any time you think a task is too big, any time something inside says, “Who do you think you are to do this? So you think you’re all that... You aren’t. You’ll never make it,” you have to say, “thanks for sharing, but I CAN DO this, and I AM all that, and I WILL make it.”
Let me give you an example. My friend, Kit, is an awesome healer, a massage therapist who is a talented channel as well. Lately, she has been prompted by her guides to do some writing about how she heals, which is apparently something new. Every time she sits down to write, very energized by the prospect of the work, she hears an internal voice, which says, “You’ll never make it — you think you’re so great -- you’ll never be able to take care of yourself”. This, quite understandably, takes the wind out of her sails, she gets bummed out and doesn’t do the writing.
As she talked about it with me, she realized it was the voice of her father, when she was about 16. He wanted her to need him as she had when she was younger, to depend on him for money, and thereby to control her, so he was actively scaring her about her job prospects. He was also genuinely concerned for her well-being, since he thought of the world as a dangerous and deceitful place. For her to succeed would have meant that he was wrong about the world, and could not control her. It was not particularly helpful to her then, and as an adult, it’s unbelievably disempowering. She must remember that she can succeed on her own terms, and still be connected to him. Yes, it would mean that he was wrong about her and about the world, but that’s his problem, not hers. And she doesn’t have to bring it up with him, ever.
So when those thoughts pop up, spend a little time to discover from where they arise, and then let them go — or give them the boot! Those negative thoughts don’t serve you — and they don’t serve the world. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for, so turn off the negative thoughts, and follow the positive ones.
Denial ain't just a river...
What do you do when there’s a big test coming up tomorrow and you’re not prepared? Do you study really hard with every spare minute, or do you just give up and go party? Or maybe you get depressed and hide in bed? Or maybe you just “get the flu”, you somaticize it, store it, or process it in your body, which buys you time without you ever having to be conscious of it.
What do you do when you hear that someone you’re close to was killed in a car accident? Do you slow down, feel the grief and anger, express your sorrow, be with others who are feeling the same? Or do you pretend it didn’t happen? Or do you pretend it’s okay, it doesn’t matter? Do you drink, or take a drug, to take the edge off? Do you stay really busy so you don’t have to think about it? Do you exercise even more than usual? Do you binge on chocolate?
What about when someone treats you badly — maybe they never listen to you. Do you avoid the situation? What if you can’t avoid the person? Do you make excuses for him or her?
Most of these things are ways of denying what’s going on around us. Life isn’t all pretty. In fact, a lot of things suck. Notice how you cope. Notice the patterns in your personal life. Because you are using these same patterns in response to things in the wider world.
When you find yourself in bed, bummed out for no reason, or staying ridiculously busy, or drinking, or taking drugs, or overexercising, or overeating, or avoiding the news — ask yourself: What am I denying? What am I ignoring? Is it in my personal life, or in the wider world? What don’t I want to see? Or know? Maybe I don’t want to see how the country was lied into a war, in which people are dying every day... Maybe I don’t want to see the deaths. Or maybe I don’t want to see that the earth is changing, and the way I live is making it worse... Or maybe I don’t want to see how our civil liberties are being eroded.
And when you’re clear about what you’re denying, and you admit it, then you can begin to deal with it in a healthy way. Then you can take action!
What do you do when you hear that someone you’re close to was killed in a car accident? Do you slow down, feel the grief and anger, express your sorrow, be with others who are feeling the same? Or do you pretend it didn’t happen? Or do you pretend it’s okay, it doesn’t matter? Do you drink, or take a drug, to take the edge off? Do you stay really busy so you don’t have to think about it? Do you exercise even more than usual? Do you binge on chocolate?
What about when someone treats you badly — maybe they never listen to you. Do you avoid the situation? What if you can’t avoid the person? Do you make excuses for him or her?
Most of these things are ways of denying what’s going on around us. Life isn’t all pretty. In fact, a lot of things suck. Notice how you cope. Notice the patterns in your personal life. Because you are using these same patterns in response to things in the wider world.
When you find yourself in bed, bummed out for no reason, or staying ridiculously busy, or drinking, or taking drugs, or overexercising, or overeating, or avoiding the news — ask yourself: What am I denying? What am I ignoring? Is it in my personal life, or in the wider world? What don’t I want to see? Or know? Maybe I don’t want to see how the country was lied into a war, in which people are dying every day... Maybe I don’t want to see the deaths. Or maybe I don’t want to see that the earth is changing, and the way I live is making it worse... Or maybe I don’t want to see how our civil liberties are being eroded.
And when you’re clear about what you’re denying, and you admit it, then you can begin to deal with it in a healthy way. Then you can take action!
Feeling bored?
According to researchers at the University of Waterloo in Canada, time really does pass more slowly for people who are prone to boredom. They are less accurate at estimating the duration of short intervals of time (2 seconds to 1 minute) than are those not prone to boredom. (For more info, please see http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/2005/12/people-prone-to-boredom-less-able-to.html.)
But unless you’re in solitary confinement, I think boredom is a result of being disconnected from the world and/or yourself. It is a result of believing that there is nothing new or interesting in or around you. The world is so vast and complex that that is not possible!
The antidote is curiosity. I know, because I was one of the most easily bored children you can imagine. Here are some questions I ask myself when there’s “nothing to do”, like standing in line at the post office:
What is that person thinking? Can I see his/her aura?
How is that thing made?
How does that plant grow?
What would it be like to be that tree? Animal?
What the birds are saying to each other?
What is the emotional feeling tone of this place? Why?
How does the light affect the appearance of what I’m seeing?
Any one of these can lead off into many directions. And that’s without even asking myself questions about what’s going on inside me!
But unless you’re in solitary confinement, I think boredom is a result of being disconnected from the world and/or yourself. It is a result of believing that there is nothing new or interesting in or around you. The world is so vast and complex that that is not possible!
The antidote is curiosity. I know, because I was one of the most easily bored children you can imagine. Here are some questions I ask myself when there’s “nothing to do”, like standing in line at the post office:
What is that person thinking? Can I see his/her aura?
How is that thing made?
How does that plant grow?
What would it be like to be that tree? Animal?
What the birds are saying to each other?
What is the emotional feeling tone of this place? Why?
How does the light affect the appearance of what I’m seeing?
Any one of these can lead off into many directions. And that’s without even asking myself questions about what’s going on inside me!
Channeled info interview
Check out Conscious Media Network! It’s at http://www.consciousmedianetwork.com, and they have terrific video interviews of all sorts of people, ranging from Bruce Lipton on the biology of belief, to Dannion Brinkley on life after death, to Stan Grof on LSD. You can stream all this, or download it to a video iPod. There is so much there that I’ve only seen a little bit so far, and it’s all really interesting. And it’s all stuff you’ll never see anywhere else.
I’m there, too! I was interviewed, talking about my recent channeling on our economic future. On the home page, I’m in the “last month” category (I just found out I was up after I wrote last week’s email). I want to publicly thank Regina and Scott, the proprietors of the Conscious Media Network, who were terrific to work with, for making me as comfortable as possible on my first foray into video. (Now I know why people get coaching before being on camera!) It’s weird watching myself, so I don’t know what to think, and I’d love to hear what people think of the interview.
I’m there, too! I was interviewed, talking about my recent channeling on our economic future. On the home page, I’m in the “last month” category (I just found out I was up after I wrote last week’s email). I want to publicly thank Regina and Scott, the proprietors of the Conscious Media Network, who were terrific to work with, for making me as comfortable as possible on my first foray into video. (Now I know why people get coaching before being on camera!) It’s weird watching myself, so I don’t know what to think, and I’d love to hear what people think of the interview.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Patience, impatience, dread and time travel
Lately my guides have been giving my information about the structure and/or meaning of various emotions.
For example, impatience is really about projecting yourself into the future, when you expect something good to happen. People often say to themselves, "I'm being patient, I'm being patient" while practically vibrating with it, meaning that they are still focusing on the future, just accepting that it's not here yet. And for those of us who are psychic/highly intuitive, it is practically an occupational hazard.
Dread is really the same thing as impatience, except that you are expecting something bad.
True patience is really being in the present.
So here's what i haven't figured out yet:
If I see something bad coming, I know that I can prepare for it. And I can certainly change myself in the present, which will often change that future. But can I project part of myself into the future to change it? (Kind of like Marty in "Back to the Future"?) And if so, how? I mean, if reality is really an infinite present, an infinite now, shouldn't that be possible?
For example, impatience is really about projecting yourself into the future, when you expect something good to happen. People often say to themselves, "I'm being patient, I'm being patient" while practically vibrating with it, meaning that they are still focusing on the future, just accepting that it's not here yet. And for those of us who are psychic/highly intuitive, it is practically an occupational hazard.
Dread is really the same thing as impatience, except that you are expecting something bad.
True patience is really being in the present.
So here's what i haven't figured out yet:
If I see something bad coming, I know that I can prepare for it. And I can certainly change myself in the present, which will often change that future. But can I project part of myself into the future to change it? (Kind of like Marty in "Back to the Future"?) And if so, how? I mean, if reality is really an infinite present, an infinite now, shouldn't that be possible?
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