Yesterday, working in the garden, I began to think about vacation -- specifically, about how little of it I've scheduled for the year (6 days in September). Since I'm self-employed, and I don't yet have any passive income going from this business, if I don't work, I don't eat, so to speak. Plus I work at home, so the lines between work and, well, not work are pretty blurry. I try to have one day a week on which I do no 'work' -- though that mostly means I cook and work in the garden. Maybe I sit and read for an hour or two. This morning I read this:
Shortcuts - Vacations Are Good for You, Medically Speaking - NYTimes.com
Maybe I really should schedule another week!
Monday, June 09, 2008
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
How do you psychically read people you've never met?
"Only this life of yours which you are living is not merely a piece of the entire existence, but is, in a certain sense, the whole; only this whole is not so constituted that it can be surveyed in one single glance."
Erwin Schroedinger
People ask me that question, "how do you read people you don't meet?" all the time, and I usually just answer that in the 'real' reality, which is the deeper, non-physical reality that gives rise to the physical world, we're all one, anyway. Quantum physics supports that idea, as well.
"Virtually everything in our immediate physical environment is made up of quanta [packets of energy] that have been interacting with other quanta in this manner from the big bang to the present... the universe on a very basic level could be a vast web of particles, which remain in contact with one another over any distance in "no time" in the absence of the transfer of energy or information. this suggests... that all of physical reality is a single quantum system that responds together to further interactions."
from "The Non-Local Universe" by Menas Kefatos & Robert Nadeau
Many years ago, after I'd been working on the world's largest 900 psychic line for about 6 months, doing over 100 readings a week, I went to listen to a healer speak at a private home in San Francisco. She was from out of town (Cleveland, I think), and traveled to the Bay Area regularly to do hands-on healing sessions. This particular talk, on angels, was to introduce her to more people.
I didn't know the area of SF where the house was, got lost on the way there (this was before MapQuest!), and therefore arrived late. I arrived so late, in fact, that I was seated not in the living room, where the bulk of the audience was, but behind a wing wall that lead to the entry hall. I had to peek around the wall to see the speaker, who was seated at the far end of the living room.
After most of her talk, someone suggested that she go around the room and name each person's guardian angel. She agreed that it would be good for each person to be on a first name basis with his/her guardian angel, but suggested that each person try to name his/her own guide first, and then she would say who she thought it was. When she got to me, I said that I thought I had 3 or 4 main ones. "Whew! I'm glad you said that," she replied, "because there are hundreds of them out there behind you."
I knew that, at some level, I'd made contact with the guides/angels of those people I'd been reading, and now, here was another clairvoyant telling me she saw it!
If we're all connected, why hundreds of guides, not millions or billions? There are two possibilities. First, it may be that in some sense we are 'closer' to those with whom we've had direct contact than to those with whom we have not had such contact. If you split a subatomic particle into two smaller particles, separate them physically, and spin one in one direction, the other one will simultaneously begin to spin in the opposite direction -- with absolutely no physical world communication possible between them -- they are always one, in perfect balance.
The other explanation is that while we're connected to all people (and their guides/angels), indeed all of reality, all the time, our minds are set up to screen out all but the information that is most important to us. This is important for our survival, because otherwise we would be constantly overwhelmed by the amount of information available to us. How do we decide what gets through? On an unconscious level, the people to whom we are physically and/or emotionally the closest would be the ones whose signals we would let through.
So I guess that when someone calls me for a psychic reading, I am very concerned about him or her, and let those signals get through that are in my client's highest good.
Erwin Schroedinger
People ask me that question, "how do you read people you don't meet?" all the time, and I usually just answer that in the 'real' reality, which is the deeper, non-physical reality that gives rise to the physical world, we're all one, anyway. Quantum physics supports that idea, as well.
"Virtually everything in our immediate physical environment is made up of quanta [packets of energy] that have been interacting with other quanta in this manner from the big bang to the present... the universe on a very basic level could be a vast web of particles, which remain in contact with one another over any distance in "no time" in the absence of the transfer of energy or information. this suggests... that all of physical reality is a single quantum system that responds together to further interactions."
from "The Non-Local Universe" by Menas Kefatos & Robert Nadeau
Many years ago, after I'd been working on the world's largest 900 psychic line for about 6 months, doing over 100 readings a week, I went to listen to a healer speak at a private home in San Francisco. She was from out of town (Cleveland, I think), and traveled to the Bay Area regularly to do hands-on healing sessions. This particular talk, on angels, was to introduce her to more people.
I didn't know the area of SF where the house was, got lost on the way there (this was before MapQuest!), and therefore arrived late. I arrived so late, in fact, that I was seated not in the living room, where the bulk of the audience was, but behind a wing wall that lead to the entry hall. I had to peek around the wall to see the speaker, who was seated at the far end of the living room.
After most of her talk, someone suggested that she go around the room and name each person's guardian angel. She agreed that it would be good for each person to be on a first name basis with his/her guardian angel, but suggested that each person try to name his/her own guide first, and then she would say who she thought it was. When she got to me, I said that I thought I had 3 or 4 main ones. "Whew! I'm glad you said that," she replied, "because there are hundreds of them out there behind you."
I knew that, at some level, I'd made contact with the guides/angels of those people I'd been reading, and now, here was another clairvoyant telling me she saw it!
If we're all connected, why hundreds of guides, not millions or billions? There are two possibilities. First, it may be that in some sense we are 'closer' to those with whom we've had direct contact than to those with whom we have not had such contact. If you split a subatomic particle into two smaller particles, separate them physically, and spin one in one direction, the other one will simultaneously begin to spin in the opposite direction -- with absolutely no physical world communication possible between them -- they are always one, in perfect balance.
The other explanation is that while we're connected to all people (and their guides/angels), indeed all of reality, all the time, our minds are set up to screen out all but the information that is most important to us. This is important for our survival, because otherwise we would be constantly overwhelmed by the amount of information available to us. How do we decide what gets through? On an unconscious level, the people to whom we are physically and/or emotionally the closest would be the ones whose signals we would let through.
So I guess that when someone calls me for a psychic reading, I am very concerned about him or her, and let those signals get through that are in my client's highest good.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Precognition?
My Mom came to visit over Memorial Day weekend. I'd been looking forward to her Sunday and Monday visit, partly because we'd planned to go to a Merchant-Ivory movie, "Before the Rains" (I love their visually stunning movies, most of which are set in India) and then to have dinner at our favorite Indian buffet -- kind of an India themed outing. I knew nothing about the movie, other than its producers and its setting.
Strangely, Sunday morning, I began to be upset about something, dreading something. I was tired, though I'd had a good night's sleep. I couldn't figure out what I was so concerned about. I checked in with myself, checked in with my guides. It didn't seem to be about me, or Mom, or my husband, or... well, anything I could think of. I began to get a headache. It was bad enough that my husband asked if I even still wanted to go to the movie, and I replied that yes, I still wanted to see it.
But Mom came, and we drove down to Menlo Park to find the movie theater, early, of course, because Mom's like that. (Yes, that annoyed me a little, but hey, the point is to hang out together, and maybe it was better to hang out away from home, so it was really fine, except that my body just wanted to be sitting at home.) We had an hour to kill, so we just walked up and down the main street of the town, window shopping (Menlo Park the kind of town where most everything is closed on Sunday, anyway.) And though I really like being outside, and it was a perfect day, cool and sunny, and everyone was getting along famously, I just felt worse and worse.
Anyway, it finally came time to go to the theater, and we found seats. Now there was another 15 minutes to wait, this time in light too dim to read (and I always have a book for waiting times). Generally, I like dim light, but the dim fluorescence hurt my head so much that I had to keep my eyes closed to avoid the pain, which at this point almost made me feel nauseous.
The trailers began, and at least I could open my eyes, because the lights had gone out. The nausea dissipated, but my head still hurt. The movie began. About half an hour into the movie (and I'm not giving away a lot here, because the movie keeps you guessing long after this), one of the main characters, and a very sympathetic one at that, commits suicide. Immediately, I felt better! What was going on?
In a word, precognition. In his wonderful book, "Entangled Minds", Dean Radin describes both individual experiments and meta-analyses of many experiments on precognition -- and finds the odds against the existence of presentiment varying from greater than 320 to 1 down to 25 to 1, depending on the study.
Here's one study:
Dick Bierman, at the University of Amsterdam, used Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) to study the blood flow in 10 adult volunteers, as follows:
"... participants located inside an fMRI were asked to look at computer-projected images. After each picture, they were asked to remain as calm as possible, to not think about the pictures they had already seen, and to avoid anticipating the upcoming pictures. the pictures in his test inclded 18 erotic, 18 violent, and 48 calm images. the pictures were selected at random on each sucessive trial. Each trial began with the participant looking at a fixed point on an otherwise blank screen for 4.2 seconds, then a picture appeared for 4.2 seconds, and then the picture disappeared and the trial continued with a blank screen for 8.4 seconds...
"When all the data were in, he examined the daya from males and females separately because he expected tat the responses to the emotional pictures might depend on gender...
"The results showed presentiment effects in most of the individual brains... For females there was a significant presentiment effect for erotic images (odds against chance of 25 to 1) and for violent images (odds of 50 to 1). For males, there was no difference for the violent images, bt there was for erotic images (odds of 50 to 1).
"Lest we forget what's going on in this experiment, it's useful to be reminded what these results mean: The brains of both men and women were activated in specific areas before erotic pictures appeared, even though no one knew in advance that those pictures were about to be selected. In oter words, the brain is responding to future events."
So next time you feel weird, or crummy, and can't point to something that relates to you to explain it, consider that you may be feeling the future!
Strangely, Sunday morning, I began to be upset about something, dreading something. I was tired, though I'd had a good night's sleep. I couldn't figure out what I was so concerned about. I checked in with myself, checked in with my guides. It didn't seem to be about me, or Mom, or my husband, or... well, anything I could think of. I began to get a headache. It was bad enough that my husband asked if I even still wanted to go to the movie, and I replied that yes, I still wanted to see it.
But Mom came, and we drove down to Menlo Park to find the movie theater, early, of course, because Mom's like that. (Yes, that annoyed me a little, but hey, the point is to hang out together, and maybe it was better to hang out away from home, so it was really fine, except that my body just wanted to be sitting at home.) We had an hour to kill, so we just walked up and down the main street of the town, window shopping (Menlo Park the kind of town where most everything is closed on Sunday, anyway.) And though I really like being outside, and it was a perfect day, cool and sunny, and everyone was getting along famously, I just felt worse and worse.
Anyway, it finally came time to go to the theater, and we found seats. Now there was another 15 minutes to wait, this time in light too dim to read (and I always have a book for waiting times). Generally, I like dim light, but the dim fluorescence hurt my head so much that I had to keep my eyes closed to avoid the pain, which at this point almost made me feel nauseous.
The trailers began, and at least I could open my eyes, because the lights had gone out. The nausea dissipated, but my head still hurt. The movie began. About half an hour into the movie (and I'm not giving away a lot here, because the movie keeps you guessing long after this), one of the main characters, and a very sympathetic one at that, commits suicide. Immediately, I felt better! What was going on?
In a word, precognition. In his wonderful book, "Entangled Minds", Dean Radin describes both individual experiments and meta-analyses of many experiments on precognition -- and finds the odds against the existence of presentiment varying from greater than 320 to 1 down to 25 to 1, depending on the study.
Here's one study:
Dick Bierman, at the University of Amsterdam, used Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) to study the blood flow in 10 adult volunteers, as follows:
"... participants located inside an fMRI were asked to look at computer-projected images. After each picture, they were asked to remain as calm as possible, to not think about the pictures they had already seen, and to avoid anticipating the upcoming pictures. the pictures in his test inclded 18 erotic, 18 violent, and 48 calm images. the pictures were selected at random on each sucessive trial. Each trial began with the participant looking at a fixed point on an otherwise blank screen for 4.2 seconds, then a picture appeared for 4.2 seconds, and then the picture disappeared and the trial continued with a blank screen for 8.4 seconds...
"When all the data were in, he examined the daya from males and females separately because he expected tat the responses to the emotional pictures might depend on gender...
"The results showed presentiment effects in most of the individual brains... For females there was a significant presentiment effect for erotic images (odds against chance of 25 to 1) and for violent images (odds of 50 to 1). For males, there was no difference for the violent images, bt there was for erotic images (odds of 50 to 1).
"Lest we forget what's going on in this experiment, it's useful to be reminded what these results mean: The brains of both men and women were activated in specific areas before erotic pictures appeared, even though no one knew in advance that those pictures were about to be selected. In oter words, the brain is responding to future events."
So next time you feel weird, or crummy, and can't point to something that relates to you to explain it, consider that you may be feeling the future!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Loss as a spiritual path
I’ve been speaking with a lot of people about loss lately --
loss of net worth (values of homes are down nearly everywhere, values of some portfolios are down)
loss of projected sales (retail sales volume is off 2% or so in the last few months, year over year, and if you factor in inflation (supposedly running at 4% or so, but if you take out the fake adjustments of the Clinton and Bush administrations, really running at about 7.5%), actual sales are way down, and they affect many businesses
loss of a business (a few people have already thrown in the towel)
loss of a job (all those real estate, construction and finance jobs that grew with the bubble are going away)
loss of a home (we’ve all read about the subprime crisis, and the Alt-A one (those exploding payment loans to people with good credit, whose reset peak is scheduled for 2009) is still building, and will probably be worse)
loss of the nest (last child leaving home)
loss of a family member, friend or colleague (who left his or her body permanently)
And I’ve lost a few things, too — a good tenant, a good repairman (now gone flaky after 3 years of good work), and probably some 60 year old trees (to the Americans with Disabilities Act!). And of course, as a homeowner, I’ve got that loss of net worth thing going on, as well. So I got to feeling a little overwhelmed.
As I thought about myself and others, I realized that generally, two things are going on:
Feelings of loss for what you had and/or expected, and/or
Fear about the future
I don’t really want to talk about the fear today; I’ll do that another time. But let’s talk about the loss, and let go of it, so that you have more energy to deal with the fear and the action steps you need to take to create a life/home/business/job you love. Not to mention that negativity, including sadness, tends to shut out the very things you choose to create, so letting go of sadness will in itself help create what you choose.
When there is a loss, some people experience a loss; others experience devastation. Why the difference? And what do you do about these losses?
The important thing to focus on after acknowledging a loss (and losing something you dreamed of or expected, but never had, can still be a huge loss emotionally), is to appreciate what you still have:
The value of your house went down? You most likely still have the house. And even if you lose the house, you are probably still going to live somewhere. So appreciate where you live for its non-financial qualities.
Sales went down? Appreciate the sales and the customers you have, learn to work with what is working, and grow that — perhaps in a new, more satisfying direction.
Business or job loss? You still have useful and marketable skills, probably among other resources.
You’re a brand new empty nester? You still have a family, just in different locations.
Someone you’re close to left their body permanently? You still have a relationship with that person, although you may have a harder time perceiving it (see “Death is Another Country” at http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2008/03/death-is-another-country.html).
But sometimes, that appreciation just doesn’t cut it. What’s going on?
What’s going on is that you’ve identified with whatever it is that you’ve lost. I think this is what the Buddhists refer to as attachment (I’m not Buddhist, so if I’m wrong, would one of you please correct me?) How do you get non-attached? How do you shift?
First, you have to figure out exactly with what you’ve identified. So if the value of your house has gone down, are you identified with the house? The number that is your financial net worth? The fact that perhaps you’re not as good an investor as you had thought? Try these on as statements, that is, “I am my house”, or “I am the value of my house”, or “I am my net worth”, or “I am a bad investor”. Perhaps one of these will feel true, or perhaps you need to keep trying. That alone may shift your energy. If it doesn’t there are many modalities that can help you let go of the belief. I have a few I like to use with myself and clients, including EFT (www.emofree.com), which you can learn on your own.
Next, figure out what you’d like to believe instead, for example, “I am who I am”, regardless of the external.
Third, install this belief, including working with it as an affirmation, and using EFT or other energy techniques.
And if you need help, call me! :)
loss of net worth (values of homes are down nearly everywhere, values of some portfolios are down)
loss of projected sales (retail sales volume is off 2% or so in the last few months, year over year, and if you factor in inflation (supposedly running at 4% or so, but if you take out the fake adjustments of the Clinton and Bush administrations, really running at about 7.5%), actual sales are way down, and they affect many businesses
loss of a business (a few people have already thrown in the towel)
loss of a job (all those real estate, construction and finance jobs that grew with the bubble are going away)
loss of a home (we’ve all read about the subprime crisis, and the Alt-A one (those exploding payment loans to people with good credit, whose reset peak is scheduled for 2009) is still building, and will probably be worse)
loss of the nest (last child leaving home)
loss of a family member, friend or colleague (who left his or her body permanently)
And I’ve lost a few things, too — a good tenant, a good repairman (now gone flaky after 3 years of good work), and probably some 60 year old trees (to the Americans with Disabilities Act!). And of course, as a homeowner, I’ve got that loss of net worth thing going on, as well. So I got to feeling a little overwhelmed.
As I thought about myself and others, I realized that generally, two things are going on:
Feelings of loss for what you had and/or expected, and/or
Fear about the future
I don’t really want to talk about the fear today; I’ll do that another time. But let’s talk about the loss, and let go of it, so that you have more energy to deal with the fear and the action steps you need to take to create a life/home/business/job you love. Not to mention that negativity, including sadness, tends to shut out the very things you choose to create, so letting go of sadness will in itself help create what you choose.
When there is a loss, some people experience a loss; others experience devastation. Why the difference? And what do you do about these losses?
The important thing to focus on after acknowledging a loss (and losing something you dreamed of or expected, but never had, can still be a huge loss emotionally), is to appreciate what you still have:
The value of your house went down? You most likely still have the house. And even if you lose the house, you are probably still going to live somewhere. So appreciate where you live for its non-financial qualities.
Sales went down? Appreciate the sales and the customers you have, learn to work with what is working, and grow that — perhaps in a new, more satisfying direction.
Business or job loss? You still have useful and marketable skills, probably among other resources.
You’re a brand new empty nester? You still have a family, just in different locations.
Someone you’re close to left their body permanently? You still have a relationship with that person, although you may have a harder time perceiving it (see “Death is Another Country” at http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2008/03/death-is-another-country.html).
But sometimes, that appreciation just doesn’t cut it. What’s going on?
What’s going on is that you’ve identified with whatever it is that you’ve lost. I think this is what the Buddhists refer to as attachment (I’m not Buddhist, so if I’m wrong, would one of you please correct me?) How do you get non-attached? How do you shift?
First, you have to figure out exactly with what you’ve identified. So if the value of your house has gone down, are you identified with the house? The number that is your financial net worth? The fact that perhaps you’re not as good an investor as you had thought? Try these on as statements, that is, “I am my house”, or “I am the value of my house”, or “I am my net worth”, or “I am a bad investor”. Perhaps one of these will feel true, or perhaps you need to keep trying. That alone may shift your energy. If it doesn’t there are many modalities that can help you let go of the belief. I have a few I like to use with myself and clients, including EFT (www.emofree.com), which you can learn on your own.
Next, figure out what you’d like to believe instead, for example, “I am who I am”, regardless of the external.
Third, install this belief, including working with it as an affirmation, and using EFT or other energy techniques.
And if you need help, call me! :)
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Thursday, May 01, 2008
3 great books & 1 that's only okay
Lately, I’ve been finding myself telling people over and over again about a few books I’ve been reading, so I thought I’d share them with you:
1. Have you ever felt like you were living in the wrong place? Like you just don’t really belong where you are? Maybe the people are somehow fundamentally different from you, or maybe you just can’t get your career off the ground? There may very well be a good reason for this — it’s not necessarily you. In "Who’s Your City?", Richard Florida explains why where you live may be one of the most important choices in your life, with his reasoning in very clear graphic form. Some places are just where you have to be for certain professions. Face it — if you’re in finance, you’d better live in New York or London. And psychogeography really exists — people really are different in different locations. The book explained to me why I knew at a deep level, visiting as a child, that I had to move to the Bay Area. Turns out that my personality is much more sympatico with those here than in the New York metro area.
Florida also has a website, http://creativeclass.com/whos_your_city/, but it will make more sense after you’ve read the book.
2. "The Brain that Changes Itself", by Norman Doidge, M.D., describes how the brain changes in response to differing stimuli. It discusses, in no particular order, treatments for autism spectrum disorders, phantom limb pain, how to ward off age-related memory loss and much more.
The book discusses how incremental rewards work best to encourage practice -- and practice is generally how the brain changes. This convinced me to have the participants in my class last weekend check in with themselves after each exercise we did, and report the changes that happened on a subjective scale of 0-10. Wow! I don’t know how rewarding each check-in was for the participants, because they were experiencing the changes, but it was really rewarding and motivating for me! Because I wasn’t personally experiencing the changes, and because there were too many people for me to personally monitor them in the way that I would with a private client, I needed another sort of feedback. This was perfect! I watched as the group made progress from one exercise to the next even though each participant didn’t necessarily have positive results with each process. Not only did I want to keep going to see what would happen after the next exercise, but I also want to teach the training again — soon!
3. Want to convince your child to eat spinach? Or convince your company to adopt a new policy or procedure? "Made to Stick", by the brothers, Chip Heath and Dan Heath, one of whom is a professor at Stanford Business School, tells you how, in a simple, clear and entertaining fashion. They really practice what they preach! They say the key to writing convincing copy is
Simple
Unexpected
Concrete
Credible
Emotional
Stories
And back that up with lots of real world examples. I know I’m going to try it!
**********
I recommend getting these books from your local library (saves trees and money), but if you want to buy any of them, could you please do it from my website, which will send you to Amazon? Go to http://www.888-4-hollis.com pages/resources/recommended-readings.php, and just click on the title that interests you. Check out the other books, too while you’re there.
**********
Now for the book that’s only okay. Oprah has been leading internet classes that are reaching literally millions of people around the world 9whenaired and as downloads), with Eckhart Tolle. I applaud them for this. They even open each segment with a brief meditation. Imagine that, 700,000 people meditating together all over the world!
And there is a lot to recommend Tolle’s book, "A New Earth". For example, Tolle has a very cool way of getting people aware of their energy bodies — he asks you to feel the aliveness in your hand when it isn’t touching anything, and then expand that to your whole body. (Of course, he’s much more complete in his directions.) Try it now!
However, and this is why I am only rating this book so-so, he spends an entire chapter on what he calls the “pain-body”. Basically, he is agglomerating all of our less-than-helpful beliefs and memories (what we’d call parts in NLP), into one global “pain-body”, which “feeds on negativity” and “seeks more pain”. Yes, there is negativity in the world, some individual, some cultural and historical. But labeling it a “pain body” feels really disempowering to me, like there’s a demon living inside me that will be virtually impossible to eradicate (because what else do you do with a demon?). And when you make all the less-than-helpful beliefs into one giant entity, with a life of its own, you can’t ask what it’s positive intention is, without getting the answer that it wants what will help itself survive. So — chunk it down — deal with each individual issue as it comes up, as an indication of something to be healed.
Of course, Tolle suggests that the way out is awareness, in a very Buddhist way, which is fine. His first publisher, Marc Allen, describes Tolle as basically sitting on a park bench for a couple of years, non-functional, so I guess if you sit still long enough, just being aware, you’ll get to enlightenment. However, those of us on the “householders path” (an ancient and honored tradition of using our everyday lives as an expression and exploration of our spirituality), can’t sit still for a couple of years. We must use our jobs and relationships and experiences to get to enlightenment. Furthermore, I think there are much better and quicker tools for healing, including NLP, EFT, and hypnotherapy, among others.
1. Have you ever felt like you were living in the wrong place? Like you just don’t really belong where you are? Maybe the people are somehow fundamentally different from you, or maybe you just can’t get your career off the ground? There may very well be a good reason for this — it’s not necessarily you. In "Who’s Your City?", Richard Florida explains why where you live may be one of the most important choices in your life, with his reasoning in very clear graphic form. Some places are just where you have to be for certain professions. Face it — if you’re in finance, you’d better live in New York or London. And psychogeography really exists — people really are different in different locations. The book explained to me why I knew at a deep level, visiting as a child, that I had to move to the Bay Area. Turns out that my personality is much more sympatico with those here than in the New York metro area.
Florida also has a website, http://creativeclass.com/whos_your_city/, but it will make more sense after you’ve read the book.
2. "The Brain that Changes Itself", by Norman Doidge, M.D., describes how the brain changes in response to differing stimuli. It discusses, in no particular order, treatments for autism spectrum disorders, phantom limb pain, how to ward off age-related memory loss and much more.
The book discusses how incremental rewards work best to encourage practice -- and practice is generally how the brain changes. This convinced me to have the participants in my class last weekend check in with themselves after each exercise we did, and report the changes that happened on a subjective scale of 0-10. Wow! I don’t know how rewarding each check-in was for the participants, because they were experiencing the changes, but it was really rewarding and motivating for me! Because I wasn’t personally experiencing the changes, and because there were too many people for me to personally monitor them in the way that I would with a private client, I needed another sort of feedback. This was perfect! I watched as the group made progress from one exercise to the next even though each participant didn’t necessarily have positive results with each process. Not only did I want to keep going to see what would happen after the next exercise, but I also want to teach the training again — soon!
3. Want to convince your child to eat spinach? Or convince your company to adopt a new policy or procedure? "Made to Stick", by the brothers, Chip Heath and Dan Heath, one of whom is a professor at Stanford Business School, tells you how, in a simple, clear and entertaining fashion. They really practice what they preach! They say the key to writing convincing copy is
Simple
Unexpected
Concrete
Credible
Emotional
Stories
And back that up with lots of real world examples. I know I’m going to try it!
**********
I recommend getting these books from your local library (saves trees and money), but if you want to buy any of them, could you please do it from my website, which will send you to Amazon? Go to http://www.888-4-hollis.com pages/resources/recommended-readings.php, and just click on the title that interests you. Check out the other books, too while you’re there.
**********
Now for the book that’s only okay. Oprah has been leading internet classes that are reaching literally millions of people around the world 9whenaired and as downloads), with Eckhart Tolle. I applaud them for this. They even open each segment with a brief meditation. Imagine that, 700,000 people meditating together all over the world!
And there is a lot to recommend Tolle’s book, "A New Earth". For example, Tolle has a very cool way of getting people aware of their energy bodies — he asks you to feel the aliveness in your hand when it isn’t touching anything, and then expand that to your whole body. (Of course, he’s much more complete in his directions.) Try it now!
However, and this is why I am only rating this book so-so, he spends an entire chapter on what he calls the “pain-body”. Basically, he is agglomerating all of our less-than-helpful beliefs and memories (what we’d call parts in NLP), into one global “pain-body”, which “feeds on negativity” and “seeks more pain”. Yes, there is negativity in the world, some individual, some cultural and historical. But labeling it a “pain body” feels really disempowering to me, like there’s a demon living inside me that will be virtually impossible to eradicate (because what else do you do with a demon?). And when you make all the less-than-helpful beliefs into one giant entity, with a life of its own, you can’t ask what it’s positive intention is, without getting the answer that it wants what will help itself survive. So — chunk it down — deal with each individual issue as it comes up, as an indication of something to be healed.
Of course, Tolle suggests that the way out is awareness, in a very Buddhist way, which is fine. His first publisher, Marc Allen, describes Tolle as basically sitting on a park bench for a couple of years, non-functional, so I guess if you sit still long enough, just being aware, you’ll get to enlightenment. However, those of us on the “householders path” (an ancient and honored tradition of using our everyday lives as an expression and exploration of our spirituality), can’t sit still for a couple of years. We must use our jobs and relationships and experiences to get to enlightenment. Furthermore, I think there are much better and quicker tools for healing, including NLP, EFT, and hypnotherapy, among others.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
MeMedia
Here's the link to recording of the teleclass I did on Thursday night:
http://www.thewisemind.com/audio/NLP.mp3
It includes some of the presuppositions of NLP, some history of NLP & a couple of very useful processes for changing how you feel about and in situations. The first, Changing the Soundtrack, will change how you feel about an incident from your past, and the second will give you a resource to use any time, anywhere in the future.
Have fun! And if you want a whole day of fun, it's next Sunday, 4/27 in Oakland, CA. For more info, look here:
http://www.hypnotherapycenter.com/work_main.html#nlp
http://www.thewisemind.com/audio/NLP.mp3
It includes some of the presuppositions of NLP, some history of NLP & a couple of very useful processes for changing how you feel about and in situations. The first, Changing the Soundtrack, will change how you feel about an incident from your past, and the second will give you a resource to use any time, anywhere in the future.
Have fun! And if you want a whole day of fun, it's next Sunday, 4/27 in Oakland, CA. For more info, look here:
http://www.hypnotherapycenter.com/work_main.html#nlp
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
No Gremlins, No Demons, No Self-Sabotage!
I was teaching Hypnocoaching last weekend to a group in Oakland, when a student’s question started me on a rant about a pet peeve, which is the very concept of gremlins, demons, or self-sabotage. This is important, so I’m sharing it with you.
We all have emotional baggage -- internal things that get in the way of us creating what we want in our lives and businesses. Perhaps you’ve heard these referred to as ‘gremlins’ or ‘demons’.
And we’ve all had the experience of wanting something, and just as we get really close to achieving it, it slips away. Maybe you’ve had the experience more than once. And then you’ve wondered, “what’s wrong with me?” So someone handed you the idea that you could be sabotaging yourself. This sets up the idea that you could deliberately, intentionally be stopping yourself from getting what you want. Nothing could be further from the truth.
What’s actually happening in both these cases is that part of you just wants something different -- and perhaps incompatible.
Just labeling these admittedly less-than-helpful parts of ourselves in these negative ways is doing yourself a disservice. Why?
First, whatever is stopping you from getting what you choose is a part of you. And you don’t react particularly well to someone calling you a nasty name, do you? If I called you an idiot, would it make you want to cooperate with me? No. And calling these parts of yourself nasty names doesn’t make them want to cooperate, either. Making yourself wrong by saying ‘I’m sabotaging myself’, just makes you feel bad about yourself, which makes the situation worse, without offering a solution.
What do you do instead of using these destructive labels?
First, recognize that any part of you that is getting in the way of what you (think you) want actually has a positive purpose. Perhaps this part of you was created at another time, in other circumstances, to get you what you needed or wanted at the time, and has outlived its usefulness. Or perhaps it wants something good for you now, that you’re not aware of, or that seems to conflict with what you want consciously.
Second, honor and thank that part of you for doing such a good job. If it were sleeping on the job, it wouldn’t have come up! And it’s much more likely to cooperate if you are respectful of it. Again, if I say to you, “I honor what a good job you’re doing, and could you please just do your job a little differently?”, you‘re more likely to work with me than if I call you a “pea-brained a**hole”, right?
Third, figure out what its positive purpose is, and then help it get that, in a way that works for the rest of you. This is often a sort of internal negotiation.
What parts of you are getting in your way? If you want help identifying, making friends with and working with the parts of you formerly known as ‘gremlins’, call me at 888-4-hollis! Stop the struggle! You can do this. With me as your guide, it’s quicker and easier than you think.
We all have emotional baggage -- internal things that get in the way of us creating what we want in our lives and businesses. Perhaps you’ve heard these referred to as ‘gremlins’ or ‘demons’.
And we’ve all had the experience of wanting something, and just as we get really close to achieving it, it slips away. Maybe you’ve had the experience more than once. And then you’ve wondered, “what’s wrong with me?” So someone handed you the idea that you could be sabotaging yourself. This sets up the idea that you could deliberately, intentionally be stopping yourself from getting what you want. Nothing could be further from the truth.
What’s actually happening in both these cases is that part of you just wants something different -- and perhaps incompatible.
Just labeling these admittedly less-than-helpful parts of ourselves in these negative ways is doing yourself a disservice. Why?
First, whatever is stopping you from getting what you choose is a part of you. And you don’t react particularly well to someone calling you a nasty name, do you? If I called you an idiot, would it make you want to cooperate with me? No. And calling these parts of yourself nasty names doesn’t make them want to cooperate, either. Making yourself wrong by saying ‘I’m sabotaging myself’, just makes you feel bad about yourself, which makes the situation worse, without offering a solution.
Let’s use my client, Stephanie, as an example. She desperately wants to “take her business to the next level”, but can’t make herself do any of the things that she knows will get here there. She had labeled the part of her that is stopping her a ‘gremlin’, which set up a struggle with it.
What do you do instead of using these destructive labels?
First, recognize that any part of you that is getting in the way of what you (think you) want actually has a positive purpose. Perhaps this part of you was created at another time, in other circumstances, to get you what you needed or wanted at the time, and has outlived its usefulness. Or perhaps it wants something good for you now, that you’re not aware of, or that seems to conflict with what you want consciously.
Some discussion uncovered that both of Stephanie’s parents were very successful — but they worked all the time, so that she felt ignored and unloved. So the part of her that was stopping her was created when she was about 5, and it was worried that if she were successful, she’d never have any time for herself or her family. So, of course, it wanted her to avoid business success, so that she could have a happy family life, and both she and her kids would feel loved.
Second, honor and thank that part of you for doing such a good job. If it were sleeping on the job, it wouldn’t have come up! And it’s much more likely to cooperate if you are respectful of it. Again, if I say to you, “I honor what a good job you’re doing, and could you please just do your job a little differently?”, you‘re more likely to work with me than if I call you a “pea-brained a**hole”, right?
Instead of calling this part of her a ‘gremlin’, Stephanie thanked this part of herself for doing such a good job.
Third, figure out what its positive purpose is, and then help it get that, in a way that works for the rest of you. This is often a sort of internal negotiation.
Stephanie told this part of her that she was grateful for its desire for her to take care of herself and spend plenty of time with her family. And then she explained that it really didn’t work for the rest of her, and in fact, was getting in the way of her taking care of her family — financially. It understood and relaxed. She promised it that she’d make sure to hire people to take some of the burden of a successful business away from her, so that she’d have time to relax alone and time to hang out with her husband and kids. In the end, the part of her agreed, and then also agreed to remind her with a particular feeling when she wasn’t keeping up her end of the agreement.
What parts of you are getting in your way? If you want help identifying, making friends with and working with the parts of you formerly known as ‘gremlins’, call me at 888-4-hollis! Stop the struggle! You can do this. With me as your guide, it’s quicker and easier than you think.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
I must have hit a nerve
Last week’s article (see it at http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2008/03/death-is-another-country.html ) must have hit a nerve, because it provoked more response than any article in a long time. I’m including a selection of what I received in return below.
I went to the memorial service that Dan’s spiritual community (of which I am a member) held for him. We all just sat in a (huge) circle and members offered memories of him as they felt moved to speak. It was touching to hear, and to hear the members caring for each other. I was blown away by the poise of his two young adult children, who articulated their gratitude for the community’s role in their father’s life, and who seemed to be very positive in the face of this really difficult circumstance.
Here’s an odd thing. One woman who was at the service told me her brother had died the day before the service, and another told me her 104 year old grandmother had died two days before it. Given the notes below, I really wonder if we have entered the times of change that have been predicted by so many traditions for so long.
Hollis
I've had two friend die in 5 days - there have been 3 suicides in three weeks out here in West Marin - my friend who lives in
a small community on the Trinity River tells me there have been 40 deaths since December in their tiny community mostly accidents some
suicides and sudden onset illness. Astrologically we are in a time of great transformation and shift - many souls will choose to leave at this
point.
RC
A very good friend of mine died almost two weeks ago. And I think death is simply giving up the illusion of darkness. We are all light whether in this dimension or another; energy and love. I think we re-fold back into the light of the divine spark within ourselves, back into the universe as we 1st knew it, before we entered this dimension in another state of transformation. You know the rest...its love without in or out; top or bottom - as for my friend, in remembrance of her I close my correspondences with 'Savor the moment,' because that was her way. Her life was so full I could almost taste it whenever I was with her. She was my best friend's mother and a surrogate mom. She was a cancer survivor of 23 years.
So its ironic reading your email. These have been my thoughts. Thanks for the chance to share them.
Be well and savor the moment - no matter what it is. I pray the good ones last long and the sad ones pass quickly.
Kathy Lavine
And it, too, hit me like a ton of bricks. I did have a number of very sweet interactions with him, and, as you put in a much more eloquent way, it really hits close to home. Hard when people around our age die, especially those that we know. I am very sad about it -
KK
I cried for the loss of Dan when I read this, and still am. There must be something special about him that touches people's hearts. Another of my immediate thoughts about him was that he was only 50 and apparently healthy--and that does hit very close to home. It really could happen to any of us, and for those of us who live alone--like Dan--we might not even be missed right away. I guess we need these reminders so we'll make the most of life while we have it.
LW
[I think that when people die alone, they are actually giving the rest of us a huge gift. Why? Because we’re fine between the time they leave their bodies and the time we find out about it, which means that we already know, at a very deep level, that we can be okay without them around. H.]
Your description of Dan’s passing is so wonderful. He was a wonderful guy and I did know and appreciate him a lot. He also liked me a lot. That’s the part that makes it sweet and sad, bittersweet.
I just wonder, if everyone thought this person in my life may not be here tomorrow, would I treat them better? Would maybe transform our planet. Thanks so much for your thoughtfulness and eloquence.
I knew Dan was going to go in this way, I just did not know when. I spoke with [a mutual friend] last week, and she asked if I knew someone who could benefit from her [health] coaching program and I said, yes, Dan would, he really needs your help. I've done this before with countless others. Its cool, spooky and scary all at the same time.
I'm not sure what do to with the information when I have it.
CC
I met a man recently who works with the Mayans. The real deal. I understand that 100's of thousands of people will be leaving their bodies rather abruptly in the coming years. We need to learn how to be open to this as not being a "bad" thing. And, if it were my friend, I'd be mourning too.
AL
I went to the memorial service that Dan’s spiritual community (of which I am a member) held for him. We all just sat in a (huge) circle and members offered memories of him as they felt moved to speak. It was touching to hear, and to hear the members caring for each other. I was blown away by the poise of his two young adult children, who articulated their gratitude for the community’s role in their father’s life, and who seemed to be very positive in the face of this really difficult circumstance.
Here’s an odd thing. One woman who was at the service told me her brother had died the day before the service, and another told me her 104 year old grandmother had died two days before it. Given the notes below, I really wonder if we have entered the times of change that have been predicted by so many traditions for so long.
Hollis
I've had two friend die in 5 days - there have been 3 suicides in three weeks out here in West Marin - my friend who lives in
a small community on the Trinity River tells me there have been 40 deaths since December in their tiny community mostly accidents some
suicides and sudden onset illness. Astrologically we are in a time of great transformation and shift - many souls will choose to leave at this
point.
RC
A very good friend of mine died almost two weeks ago. And I think death is simply giving up the illusion of darkness. We are all light whether in this dimension or another; energy and love. I think we re-fold back into the light of the divine spark within ourselves, back into the universe as we 1st knew it, before we entered this dimension in another state of transformation. You know the rest...its love without in or out; top or bottom - as for my friend, in remembrance of her I close my correspondences with 'Savor the moment,' because that was her way. Her life was so full I could almost taste it whenever I was with her. She was my best friend's mother and a surrogate mom. She was a cancer survivor of 23 years.
So its ironic reading your email. These have been my thoughts. Thanks for the chance to share them.
Be well and savor the moment - no matter what it is. I pray the good ones last long and the sad ones pass quickly.
Kathy Lavine
And it, too, hit me like a ton of bricks. I did have a number of very sweet interactions with him, and, as you put in a much more eloquent way, it really hits close to home. Hard when people around our age die, especially those that we know. I am very sad about it -
KK
I cried for the loss of Dan when I read this, and still am. There must be something special about him that touches people's hearts. Another of my immediate thoughts about him was that he was only 50 and apparently healthy--and that does hit very close to home. It really could happen to any of us, and for those of us who live alone--like Dan--we might not even be missed right away. I guess we need these reminders so we'll make the most of life while we have it.
LW
[I think that when people die alone, they are actually giving the rest of us a huge gift. Why? Because we’re fine between the time they leave their bodies and the time we find out about it, which means that we already know, at a very deep level, that we can be okay without them around. H.]
Your description of Dan’s passing is so wonderful. He was a wonderful guy and I did know and appreciate him a lot. He also liked me a lot. That’s the part that makes it sweet and sad, bittersweet.
I just wonder, if everyone thought this person in my life may not be here tomorrow, would I treat them better? Would maybe transform our planet. Thanks so much for your thoughtfulness and eloquence.
I knew Dan was going to go in this way, I just did not know when. I spoke with [a mutual friend] last week, and she asked if I knew someone who could benefit from her [health] coaching program and I said, yes, Dan would, he really needs your help. I've done this before with countless others. Its cool, spooky and scary all at the same time.
I'm not sure what do to with the information when I have it.
CC
I met a man recently who works with the Mayans. The real deal. I understand that 100's of thousands of people will be leaving their bodies rather abruptly in the coming years. We need to learn how to be open to this as not being a "bad" thing. And, if it were my friend, I'd be mourning too.
AL
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Death is Another Country
I heard the news today oh boy
About a lucky man who made the change
(To paraphrase the Beatles)
So another friend left his body rather permanently. I heard the news from a mutual friend. Dan was in his mid-50s, with a grown son and a college-age daughter. He wasn’t sick, except he apparently went home with the flu on Friday... and was never heard from again. On Tuesday, when his business partner couldn’t get in touch with him, he began to worry, went to his house, found his car there, but no answer at the door or on the phone. He called the cops who got in, and...
Dan was more of an acquaintance than a friend, someone with whom I meditated, and took part in group, and occasionally personal, discussions about the nature of reality and the highest good. I respected his insight, his balanced view of life, his eloquence — and his good heart. He was always the first to open his arms for a hug, and the first to burst into a hearty laugh. And I really liked him. But he wasn’t someone I ever called for a personal reason, his or mine.
Dan was one of the angels in this earthly bar, the ones who come and go, as we all do, who enter through the swinging doors (take a body), have a drink, some food, hook up, break up, maybe play a game of poker, or pour a beer for someone else, watch the dramas unfolding, and leave again through those same swinging doors.
So why am I so upset?
I mean, this is as upsetting to me as when my good friend, Charlotte, checked out a few months ago (see http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2007/11/so-this-angel-walks-into-bar.html ). But of course, at some level, I expected her to leave, just didn’t know when, and so I was pretty complete with her. And I was most definitely not complete with Dan. I really regret that I didn’t get to know this very cool person better.
Does that explain this level of upset?
As I check inside, I find a sort of energetic steel tube in my core, which I move out of me so that I can talk with it. The first thing it says is, ‘there, but for the grace of God, go I’. It’s true — we can all leave the bar at any time. I’m pretty clear that Dan was complete on some level, and he’s probably having a blast exploring new realms, whatever is outside the swinging doors. So leaving the bar doesn’t sound so bad. But on the other hand, who knows when I’ll find another body to inhabit? And they say that Earth is a destination planet because of its beauty.
I guess I have to get used to it... People, my friends, are going to leave the bar with regular, and probably increasing, frequency. That means I have three choices.
The first is to mourn.
The second choice is to learn to be a clearer medium, so that I can still talk to them. I think of it like this: death is another country. What do I mean? Three or four generations ago, in the 19th century, when someone left their village in Russia to come to America, they could have no expectation of ever going back to visit. Nor could they count on the relatives that they left behind ever coming to America. Communication was pretty minimal, too. This was before the telephone. They had letters, of course, but those were quite slow, possibly expensive, and probably infrequent. Today, when someone dies, it’s like we’re in Russia and he or she went to America. There aren’t any letters, but there are mediums, who may be expensive and whom I’ll only call infrequently. If I develop my mediumistic abilities, it’ll be like having a telephone would have been in the 19th century — not as good as having the person with you, but way better than no communication at all. And eventually, I know I’ll go to America, too.
The third choice is to focus on the angels still in the bar, to love them, and appreciate them, and see one leaving as an opportunity to get to know another.
About a lucky man who made the change
(To paraphrase the Beatles)
So another friend left his body rather permanently. I heard the news from a mutual friend. Dan was in his mid-50s, with a grown son and a college-age daughter. He wasn’t sick, except he apparently went home with the flu on Friday... and was never heard from again. On Tuesday, when his business partner couldn’t get in touch with him, he began to worry, went to his house, found his car there, but no answer at the door or on the phone. He called the cops who got in, and...
Dan was more of an acquaintance than a friend, someone with whom I meditated, and took part in group, and occasionally personal, discussions about the nature of reality and the highest good. I respected his insight, his balanced view of life, his eloquence — and his good heart. He was always the first to open his arms for a hug, and the first to burst into a hearty laugh. And I really liked him. But he wasn’t someone I ever called for a personal reason, his or mine.
Dan was one of the angels in this earthly bar, the ones who come and go, as we all do, who enter through the swinging doors (take a body), have a drink, some food, hook up, break up, maybe play a game of poker, or pour a beer for someone else, watch the dramas unfolding, and leave again through those same swinging doors.
So why am I so upset?
I mean, this is as upsetting to me as when my good friend, Charlotte, checked out a few months ago (see http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2007/11/so-this-angel-walks-into-bar.html ). But of course, at some level, I expected her to leave, just didn’t know when, and so I was pretty complete with her. And I was most definitely not complete with Dan. I really regret that I didn’t get to know this very cool person better.
Does that explain this level of upset?
As I check inside, I find a sort of energetic steel tube in my core, which I move out of me so that I can talk with it. The first thing it says is, ‘there, but for the grace of God, go I’. It’s true — we can all leave the bar at any time. I’m pretty clear that Dan was complete on some level, and he’s probably having a blast exploring new realms, whatever is outside the swinging doors. So leaving the bar doesn’t sound so bad. But on the other hand, who knows when I’ll find another body to inhabit? And they say that Earth is a destination planet because of its beauty.
I guess I have to get used to it... People, my friends, are going to leave the bar with regular, and probably increasing, frequency. That means I have three choices.
The first is to mourn.
The second choice is to learn to be a clearer medium, so that I can still talk to them. I think of it like this: death is another country. What do I mean? Three or four generations ago, in the 19th century, when someone left their village in Russia to come to America, they could have no expectation of ever going back to visit. Nor could they count on the relatives that they left behind ever coming to America. Communication was pretty minimal, too. This was before the telephone. They had letters, of course, but those were quite slow, possibly expensive, and probably infrequent. Today, when someone dies, it’s like we’re in Russia and he or she went to America. There aren’t any letters, but there are mediums, who may be expensive and whom I’ll only call infrequently. If I develop my mediumistic abilities, it’ll be like having a telephone would have been in the 19th century — not as good as having the person with you, but way better than no communication at all. And eventually, I know I’ll go to America, too.
The third choice is to focus on the angels still in the bar, to love them, and appreciate them, and see one leaving as an opportunity to get to know another.
Friday, March 07, 2008
How to get out of your rut/race
Maybe you know the feeling: you’re really good at what you do, and successful, too, but it just feels... empty. You have this good job (or business) but you feel like the only reason you show up is to pay the bills. You used to love what you do, but now you have to keep reminding yourself why you’re doing it. You’re racing your motor (work to churn out, people to see, presentations to give — it’s endless), and that only makes the wheels spin faster (and yes, you do meet all the deadlines), which digs the rut deeper. You’re in a pretty good place, but you’re going nowhere — and going there fast, and maybe burning out the motor at the same time.
I have a few clients like that right now, men and women both. They’re all experts at different facets of marketing, mid-life, quite successful. Each is on his or her own personal growth path, though the paths are as varied as the people: Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, non-denominational spirituality, Masters Degrees in psychology or related fields, certificates in different types of healing.
My rule is that when something shows up 3 or more times in quick succession, it’s time to look at it. And since I’m quite clear that this lesson isn’t for me, it must be for you!
What you’re telling me is that success for its own sake just doesn’t satisfy any more. Because I’ve been working with marketers, success is, in an odd way, proof of their value — if you’re successful, that means you’re good at marketing, which makes a prima facie case that others should listen to you (and pay you) to tell them how to succeed. The money, the trappings, though they’re great, don’t mean all that much. Even helping other people succeed and get money and trappings, just seems pretty empty. So your success becomes a trap — success begets success begets success — hey, this wheel pretty much turns on its own momentum now! But your deepest need to do something else gnaws at you constantly.
Here’s something else I know from working with people for more than 15 years. If you don’t listen to that sense that it’s time to shift, the shift will come to you, often in a less than pleasant way. Perhaps you’ll get sick, so you’ll sit still and pay attention. Maybe you’ll lose your biggest client. Maybe you’ll lose your job. In fact, I met an abbot once, the ‘father’ of a religious order, who opened up to me, and told me he was really sick of his job, tired of running the monastery. I told him that if he didn’t instigate a change, the change would come to him. And he didn’t do anything, because he felt secure. The monks had taken vows of obedience, and he had no superior. The monks got together and rebelled and he was out on his ear!
So pay attention to that nagging sensation that something has to change. But what to do?
Here are a few ideas, presented in no particular order. Pick and choose the ones that work for you:
Ask yourself, what is frustrating me? Create a vision of your own future that eliminates, or at least works around, all your current frustrations, while incorporating all the things you love (and probably take for granted) now, and move toward that.
Create a vision for how you would like the world to be, and let that guide you in shifting your job or business, so that your larger vision for the world gives meaning to your daily activities. If you want a sustainable future for society, shift your job or business to support that, perhaps by actively seeking ‘green’ clients.
If you’re feeling stifled, limited, or undervalued, then shift your business focus to something related to what you’re already good at, but that uses other skills you’re not using now. If you have lots of people skills, use them in HR or recruiting for a marketing firm.
Start a side business doing something you love to do, that seems more important than what you’re doing now. If connecting people to each other seems more important than teaching them how to do search engine optimization, start a networking group. Play around with business models till you find one that will eventually support you so you can stop what you now think of as your main job or business.
Get help! There are coaches out there (including me) who have processes to help you clarify what you’re choosing to create.
I have a few clients like that right now, men and women both. They’re all experts at different facets of marketing, mid-life, quite successful. Each is on his or her own personal growth path, though the paths are as varied as the people: Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, non-denominational spirituality, Masters Degrees in psychology or related fields, certificates in different types of healing.
My rule is that when something shows up 3 or more times in quick succession, it’s time to look at it. And since I’m quite clear that this lesson isn’t for me, it must be for you!
What you’re telling me is that success for its own sake just doesn’t satisfy any more. Because I’ve been working with marketers, success is, in an odd way, proof of their value — if you’re successful, that means you’re good at marketing, which makes a prima facie case that others should listen to you (and pay you) to tell them how to succeed. The money, the trappings, though they’re great, don’t mean all that much. Even helping other people succeed and get money and trappings, just seems pretty empty. So your success becomes a trap — success begets success begets success — hey, this wheel pretty much turns on its own momentum now! But your deepest need to do something else gnaws at you constantly.
Here’s something else I know from working with people for more than 15 years. If you don’t listen to that sense that it’s time to shift, the shift will come to you, often in a less than pleasant way. Perhaps you’ll get sick, so you’ll sit still and pay attention. Maybe you’ll lose your biggest client. Maybe you’ll lose your job. In fact, I met an abbot once, the ‘father’ of a religious order, who opened up to me, and told me he was really sick of his job, tired of running the monastery. I told him that if he didn’t instigate a change, the change would come to him. And he didn’t do anything, because he felt secure. The monks had taken vows of obedience, and he had no superior. The monks got together and rebelled and he was out on his ear!
So pay attention to that nagging sensation that something has to change. But what to do?
Here are a few ideas, presented in no particular order. Pick and choose the ones that work for you:
Ask yourself, what is frustrating me? Create a vision of your own future that eliminates, or at least works around, all your current frustrations, while incorporating all the things you love (and probably take for granted) now, and move toward that.
Create a vision for how you would like the world to be, and let that guide you in shifting your job or business, so that your larger vision for the world gives meaning to your daily activities. If you want a sustainable future for society, shift your job or business to support that, perhaps by actively seeking ‘green’ clients.
If you’re feeling stifled, limited, or undervalued, then shift your business focus to something related to what you’re already good at, but that uses other skills you’re not using now. If you have lots of people skills, use them in HR or recruiting for a marketing firm.
Start a side business doing something you love to do, that seems more important than what you’re doing now. If connecting people to each other seems more important than teaching them how to do search engine optimization, start a networking group. Play around with business models till you find one that will eventually support you so you can stop what you now think of as your main job or business.
Get help! There are coaches out there (including me) who have processes to help you clarify what you’re choosing to create.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Your body is trying to tell you something!
Have you ever had a sore throat that just wouldn’t go away? A tennis elbow? Or some other chronic physical concern? Maybe your body is trying to tell you something deeper about what is going on. After all, mindbody is one system, and so your body expresses what is going on at an emotional level, especially if you are not consciously aware of your feelings.
I used to have sore throats all the time; in fact, a sore throat was how I knew an episode of my CFDIS (chronic fatigue immune dysfunction syndrome) was imminent. I eventually learned that a sore throat was caused, on a very real if non-physical level, by something I wasn’t saying. The words were literally sticking in my throat and making it sore. So I began to ask myself, “what am I not saying? And to whom?” When I figured out the answer to those two questions, and did something about it (either saying what I needed to say to the appropriate person, or at least imagining myself doing that), then the sore throat went away in a matter of minutes! In fact, I began to head off the worst episodes of CFIDS with this technique — I’d either stop them in their tracks or make them pretty mild and short-lived.
This is true for sudden, one off issues, too. If you’ve ever broken an ankle, for instance, you’ll probably realize that, at that time, you had an issue around moving forward and/or your direction in life. Think back to any serious medical issues you’ve ever had, or that anyone close to you has ever had, and you’ll see this sort of parallel.
So if something is not working right in your body, ask yourself what deeper issue it might represent. Think about ‘organ language’, which is the use of body parts or functions in everyday language, and see what turns up. So if you have, say, a cough, and the words, “cough it up” come to mind, ask yourself what you need to ‘cough up’ or let go of. Answer that question, and then let go — and see if the cough goes away on its own.
Here’s another resource: Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life, has a terrific directory for this. The directory lists body parts, as well as dis-eases, along with potential meanings for them and possible affirmations to use to heal them. In my experience of using this directory with friends and clients over the years, the meanings are very good clues to what is going on at a deeper level, while the affirmations really need to be tailored to the individual.
I used to have sore throats all the time; in fact, a sore throat was how I knew an episode of my CFDIS (chronic fatigue immune dysfunction syndrome) was imminent. I eventually learned that a sore throat was caused, on a very real if non-physical level, by something I wasn’t saying. The words were literally sticking in my throat and making it sore. So I began to ask myself, “what am I not saying? And to whom?” When I figured out the answer to those two questions, and did something about it (either saying what I needed to say to the appropriate person, or at least imagining myself doing that), then the sore throat went away in a matter of minutes! In fact, I began to head off the worst episodes of CFIDS with this technique — I’d either stop them in their tracks or make them pretty mild and short-lived.
This is true for sudden, one off issues, too. If you’ve ever broken an ankle, for instance, you’ll probably realize that, at that time, you had an issue around moving forward and/or your direction in life. Think back to any serious medical issues you’ve ever had, or that anyone close to you has ever had, and you’ll see this sort of parallel.
So if something is not working right in your body, ask yourself what deeper issue it might represent. Think about ‘organ language’, which is the use of body parts or functions in everyday language, and see what turns up. So if you have, say, a cough, and the words, “cough it up” come to mind, ask yourself what you need to ‘cough up’ or let go of. Answer that question, and then let go — and see if the cough goes away on its own.
Here’s another resource: Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life, has a terrific directory for this. The directory lists body parts, as well as dis-eases, along with potential meanings for them and possible affirmations to use to heal them. In my experience of using this directory with friends and clients over the years, the meanings are very good clues to what is going on at a deeper level, while the affirmations really need to be tailored to the individual.
Siddhis along the path
Siddhi (Sanskrit:सिद्धिः; siddhiḥ) is a Sanskrit word that literally means "accomplishment", "attainment", or "success". It is also used as a term for spiritual power (or psychic ability). The term is used in that sense in Hinduism and Tantric Buddhism. These spiritual powers supposedly vary from relatively simple forms of clairvoyance to being able to levitate, to be present at various places at once, to become as small as an atom, to materialize objects, to have access to memories from past lives, and more.
- from Wikipedia
********
Last August, I went to the “Ambassador to the Universe” training held by Dr. Stephen Greer, up at Mt. Shasta. Dr. Greer, who opened TM centers for the Maharishi before he became an M.D., specializing in emergency medicine, is an amazing clairvoyant, channel, etc., as well as being very tough and focused on helping humanity change its future to one of sustainability. (You can check out his websites, www.disclosureproject.org and www.aero2012.org .)
Many amazing things happened at the workshop (which I wrote about at http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2007/09/multiplier-effect-part-ii.html ). But something else happened that I didn’t mention, because it didn’t seem that important at the time. Dr. Greer did a puja and gave each of us our personal mantra. Of course, it was the same mantra for each of us, one of the four standard TM ones, but with a difference. Dr. Greer had channeled that those mantras were originally sung, and that when the notes that went with the words were lost, much of the power of the mantras was lost, as well. And he had channeled the ‘tune’ for one of the mantras. This is the one he gave each of us, to be sung to ourselves.
After I got back from Mt. Shasta, someone in his office emailed me an .mp3 file of the mantra, sung over and over with a background of Tibetan bowls. I put this on my iPod, both on its own and as a background for my personal affirmations. I began to listen to one or the other every day while I walked. And after a while, I noticed that the mantra generated an energy that swirled around me, sort of like a controlled tornado, though with a difference — the energy seemed to swirl both in and out simultaneously, in the same direction.
********
In December, my husband and I hosted a friend, Mark Macy, for a couple of free lectures on his specialty, instrumental transcommunication, that is, using electronic instruments to communicate with the ‘dead’. He uses a tool called a Luminator to make this communication easier. Mark was kind enough to open up the Luminator for me, and it appears to generate an electromagnetic field at a particular frequency (though I couldn’t tell you which frequency). This field felt so strong to me that when he first turned on the machine, it felt like I had put my finger in a light socket! But he turned it down, and I got used to it. (For more info on those lectures, with photos, please go to http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2007/12/how-psychics-have-fun-part-3.html ).
As I got used to it, something amazing happened. I was 'shown' what happens when you 'die'. I did not have the experience of the tunnel that most near-death experiencers describe (not that I was near death in any way), but doors opened from my heart and I came out on a beautiful landscape, which I was told was different for each person. After a few moments of enjoying that, I was showered with a beautiful green light that permeated me, and then a beautiful yellow or golden light that did the same. After a while, that faded away, and I was back in the beautiful landscape, but this time, there were thousands of 'people' there. (I think this is the welcoming party that everyone talks about.) I was at a distance, hovering in the sky, looking at the assembled group, but I noticed that if I asked for someone, they'd sort of come to the front of the group, or perhaps I zoomed in to them. I was given to understand that in a way, this 'party' is somewhat holographic, as if each soul sent a hologram of a part of itself that I would recognize, not necessarily that the whole soul was there.
Then it occurred to me that I could use the technique to ask my higher self to come to the front of the group. It worked! And I had a conversation with my higher self (not sure this makes sense, but oh, well). It’s apparently a great joke that my higher self, which is HUGE in some sense, has to fit into my 5’3” physical body (perhaps this explains why I’ve always wanted to be taller). So the next time I tried it, not only did I ask my higher self to come to the fore, but I also walked into my higher self, so that I’m inside it/me.
*****
I was at a business building workshop recently, and had a couple of amazing experiences. First, as I did a pair exercise with another woman, looking into her eyes, I watched as her 3rd eye popped open (briefly) and later, watched iridescent wings unfold from her back. She said she felt quite good, very peaceful, but wasn’t aware of these things. But I don’t think I’m making them up, because I was pretty surprised. The word, “Namaste” (roughly translated as “the god in me salutes the god in you”), has a much more literal meaning for me now!
But here’s the amazing thing. After the formal classes, we were offered an optional session of “being coaching”. Basically, this was role playing on stage, with the trainer periodically stopping the action to coach the participants. I was up on stage quite late on Saturday night (10:45 PM). Most of the group had gone home, so there were perhaps 25 people left. There was a really nice group field from the work we’d all done supporting each other that day and in the ‘being coaching’ session. Another woman and I were being coached, and the coach, along with the audience said to me, ‘there’s something wild about you and we want to see more of it.’ Well, there is absolutely nothing wild about me, which I said. To which the coach replied, there’s a hurricane around you.
I know what that energy is — it’s the energy from the sung mantra. So I said I knew what it was, that it was more of a tornado, that it wasn’t me, but if everyone wanted to see more of it, that’s what they’d get. So I stood at the front of the stage, invited my higher self to come to the fore, and sang the mantra silently to myself.
People started to cry. One woman, directly in front of me about 12 feet away, began to shake and cry. It felt quite normal and natural in my body, and I wasn’t in trance or anything, just being me, with the mantra going, could even talk a little. It’s easy. I’m very clear that the energy isn’t mine, although it does come through me. I was pretty wired for a few hours after that, though, even though my usual bedtime is 8:30PM lately.
The next morning, I asked the woman who’d been shaking what had happened to her, she said she’d been in a lot of physical pain, and felt a cool mist rain down on her, felt the pain leave her body, and that the tears were tears of relief, joy and gratitude. Three other people, all of whom said they don’t normally see auras told me they’d seen a color around me — for two of them it was golden light behind or around me, while another saw blue above my head. Another three people asked me to come speak at their groups. When I asked what about, one woman said she didn’t care, “just do what you do”. Yet another came up to me and said, “after last night, I’d follow you anywhere.”
I’m under no illusion that I am in any way unique — this energy is available to all -- and wow, how cool is that?
- from Wikipedia
********
Last August, I went to the “Ambassador to the Universe” training held by Dr. Stephen Greer, up at Mt. Shasta. Dr. Greer, who opened TM centers for the Maharishi before he became an M.D., specializing in emergency medicine, is an amazing clairvoyant, channel, etc., as well as being very tough and focused on helping humanity change its future to one of sustainability. (You can check out his websites, www.disclosureproject.org and www.aero2012.org .)
Many amazing things happened at the workshop (which I wrote about at http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2007/09/multiplier-effect-part-ii.html ). But something else happened that I didn’t mention, because it didn’t seem that important at the time. Dr. Greer did a puja and gave each of us our personal mantra. Of course, it was the same mantra for each of us, one of the four standard TM ones, but with a difference. Dr. Greer had channeled that those mantras were originally sung, and that when the notes that went with the words were lost, much of the power of the mantras was lost, as well. And he had channeled the ‘tune’ for one of the mantras. This is the one he gave each of us, to be sung to ourselves.
After I got back from Mt. Shasta, someone in his office emailed me an .mp3 file of the mantra, sung over and over with a background of Tibetan bowls. I put this on my iPod, both on its own and as a background for my personal affirmations. I began to listen to one or the other every day while I walked. And after a while, I noticed that the mantra generated an energy that swirled around me, sort of like a controlled tornado, though with a difference — the energy seemed to swirl both in and out simultaneously, in the same direction.
********
In December, my husband and I hosted a friend, Mark Macy, for a couple of free lectures on his specialty, instrumental transcommunication, that is, using electronic instruments to communicate with the ‘dead’. He uses a tool called a Luminator to make this communication easier. Mark was kind enough to open up the Luminator for me, and it appears to generate an electromagnetic field at a particular frequency (though I couldn’t tell you which frequency). This field felt so strong to me that when he first turned on the machine, it felt like I had put my finger in a light socket! But he turned it down, and I got used to it. (For more info on those lectures, with photos, please go to http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2007/12/how-psychics-have-fun-part-3.html ).
As I got used to it, something amazing happened. I was 'shown' what happens when you 'die'. I did not have the experience of the tunnel that most near-death experiencers describe (not that I was near death in any way), but doors opened from my heart and I came out on a beautiful landscape, which I was told was different for each person. After a few moments of enjoying that, I was showered with a beautiful green light that permeated me, and then a beautiful yellow or golden light that did the same. After a while, that faded away, and I was back in the beautiful landscape, but this time, there were thousands of 'people' there. (I think this is the welcoming party that everyone talks about.) I was at a distance, hovering in the sky, looking at the assembled group, but I noticed that if I asked for someone, they'd sort of come to the front of the group, or perhaps I zoomed in to them. I was given to understand that in a way, this 'party' is somewhat holographic, as if each soul sent a hologram of a part of itself that I would recognize, not necessarily that the whole soul was there.
Then it occurred to me that I could use the technique to ask my higher self to come to the front of the group. It worked! And I had a conversation with my higher self (not sure this makes sense, but oh, well). It’s apparently a great joke that my higher self, which is HUGE in some sense, has to fit into my 5’3” physical body (perhaps this explains why I’ve always wanted to be taller). So the next time I tried it, not only did I ask my higher self to come to the fore, but I also walked into my higher self, so that I’m inside it/me.
*****
I was at a business building workshop recently, and had a couple of amazing experiences. First, as I did a pair exercise with another woman, looking into her eyes, I watched as her 3rd eye popped open (briefly) and later, watched iridescent wings unfold from her back. She said she felt quite good, very peaceful, but wasn’t aware of these things. But I don’t think I’m making them up, because I was pretty surprised. The word, “Namaste” (roughly translated as “the god in me salutes the god in you”), has a much more literal meaning for me now!
But here’s the amazing thing. After the formal classes, we were offered an optional session of “being coaching”. Basically, this was role playing on stage, with the trainer periodically stopping the action to coach the participants. I was up on stage quite late on Saturday night (10:45 PM). Most of the group had gone home, so there were perhaps 25 people left. There was a really nice group field from the work we’d all done supporting each other that day and in the ‘being coaching’ session. Another woman and I were being coached, and the coach, along with the audience said to me, ‘there’s something wild about you and we want to see more of it.’ Well, there is absolutely nothing wild about me, which I said. To which the coach replied, there’s a hurricane around you.
I know what that energy is — it’s the energy from the sung mantra. So I said I knew what it was, that it was more of a tornado, that it wasn’t me, but if everyone wanted to see more of it, that’s what they’d get. So I stood at the front of the stage, invited my higher self to come to the fore, and sang the mantra silently to myself.
People started to cry. One woman, directly in front of me about 12 feet away, began to shake and cry. It felt quite normal and natural in my body, and I wasn’t in trance or anything, just being me, with the mantra going, could even talk a little. It’s easy. I’m very clear that the energy isn’t mine, although it does come through me. I was pretty wired for a few hours after that, though, even though my usual bedtime is 8:30PM lately.
The next morning, I asked the woman who’d been shaking what had happened to her, she said she’d been in a lot of physical pain, and felt a cool mist rain down on her, felt the pain leave her body, and that the tears were tears of relief, joy and gratitude. Three other people, all of whom said they don’t normally see auras told me they’d seen a color around me — for two of them it was golden light behind or around me, while another saw blue above my head. Another three people asked me to come speak at their groups. When I asked what about, one woman said she didn’t care, “just do what you do”. Yet another came up to me and said, “after last night, I’d follow you anywhere.”
I’m under no illusion that I am in any way unique — this energy is available to all -- and wow, how cool is that?
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Quote of the Day
"When you possess the courage-- or blunt, gourd-smacking stupidity-- to be totally candid, you silently amass thousands of allies. It's the "me too" effect. As Steven Morrissey (Esq., Demigod) says, there is no such thing in life as normal. And if you walk around pretending to be normal, hiding your scars and incisions and putrescing wounds, you only further the Conspiracy of Normal, which exists to make us all feel like shit."
- Brook Busey aka Diablo Cody
- Brook Busey aka Diablo Cody
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
To-do List for the next 36 hours
1. Write curriculum for NLP class at Hypnotherapy Center
2. 3 client sessions
3. Assorted other calls
4. Write class for Document Preparers
5. Make hummus and cook peppers and onions for a friend, who's coming to dinner
6. Save the world - details later
7. H.U.B. meeting
2. 3 client sessions
3. Assorted other calls
4. Write class for Document Preparers
5. Make hummus and cook peppers and onions for a friend, who's coming to dinner
6. Save the world - details later
7. H.U.B. meeting
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Earth's Valentine
Although Valentine's Day is traditionally thought of in terms of lovers showing their devotion to each other, we can recast it as a time to remember our love for any of our fellow humans (the difficult woman at the Dept. of Motor Vehicles, perhaps?), or fellow creatures on the planet (pets, birds, squirrels), or even the planet itself.
So today, recognize how important that tree outside your window is to you (you need it to breathe), or how much you appreciate the sun (we couldn't live without it!) or even how important bacteria are (you need them to digest your food). A little appreciation goes a long way!
(The image above, Earth's Valentine, was made completely of unretouched photos of a red camellia, jasmine leaves (yes, they turn red in autumn if they're in the shade), and red clover leaves.)
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Stay out of the mall when you're feeling blue!
New research shows that people who are sad spend more than people who aren't.
Sadness may encourage more extravagance - Yahoo! News
This explains the trap of credit card debt for many people. Spend money, feel better. Look at the bill, feel bad. Spend money, feel better. Look at the bill, feel bad. Spend money, feel better. Ad infinitum... or until you're drowning in debt.
Sadness may encourage more extravagance - Yahoo! News
This explains the trap of credit card debt for many people. Spend money, feel better. Look at the bill, feel bad. Spend money, feel better. Look at the bill, feel bad. Spend money, feel better. Ad infinitum... or until you're drowning in debt.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
12th rule for a happy life
12. Don't take yourself too seriously ~ remember, deepest within you is joy and delight.
(This was from a reader. For the other 11, see Dec. 12 post.)
(This was from a reader. For the other 11, see Dec. 12 post.)
Monday, January 21, 2008
Big Brain Theory: Have Cosmologists Lost Theirs? - New York Times
Cosmologists make psychic phenomena look... normal? or at least a lot less weird than a possible reality:
Big Brain Theory: Have Cosmologists Lost Theirs? - New York Times
Big Brain Theory: Have Cosmologists Lost Theirs? - New York Times
Seven-Word Wisdom: The Contest - Well - Tara Parker-Pope - Health - New York Times Blog
Some great words of wisdom here -- and a lot of fun, too:
Seven-Word Wisdom: The Contest - Well - Tara Parker-Pope - Health - New York Times Blog
My contribution (too late to actually make the contest):
Dream big. Centered, Balanced, centered, grounded. Stay positive.
You can post your 7 words of wisdom here, as a comment.
Seven-Word Wisdom: The Contest - Well - Tara Parker-Pope - Health - New York Times Blog
My contribution (too late to actually make the contest):
Dream big. Centered, Balanced, centered, grounded. Stay positive.
You can post your 7 words of wisdom here, as a comment.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Monday, January 07, 2008
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Try someting new in this 1 year!
I don’t know about you, but from the minute I woke up on New Year’s Day, I felt a real buzz of new energy, and creativity just bursting out of me. This is not normally how I feel on New Year’s Day — normally, it’s more like, “Ho hum, just another random day that we have somehow anointed as the beginning of the new year.”
I’m no expert numerologer, but I do know that 2008 is a “1” year. That is, 2+0+0+8 = 10, and 1+0 = 1. (Yes, that’s how they do it.) And 1 is the energy of the new — new beginnings, new directions, new projects, new ideas. It’s the energy of opportunity, of independence, of leadership, of concentration and focus. It also embodies courage, originality and decisiveness.
Perhaps that’s why, when I sat down to meditate on New Year’s Day, the following came through, with instructions to write it down, so I could pass it on:
It’s a new year. New patterns are possible. Revel in the new, whether that’s a new color, a new thought, a new dish, a new item of clothing, a new project. Pay particular attention to new thoughts that cross your mind and LISTEN to them. These are new energies, not all of which have been on earth before, trying to impress upon you a new way of being. It can start in any way at all, as a seed starts. If you let it unfold and express itself, it will lead in new directions. So the choice of a new color may lead you to pick up a stone of that color which will affect you with its energies, its properties. Or it may lead you to pick different flowers in the market, or different flowers to plant, which will teach you different things by the way they unfold or go to seed. If you have tended to go fast, slow down. If you have tended to be cautious, now is the time to take a risk and jump! Be attentive to the energy of the new and see how it leads you down a different path, one of healing. (if your current path healed everything, you’d be perfect by now! And manifesting everything you choose.)
Pick one new thing to do each day this year — and see how you are different by the end of the year! See how much joy it brings you. (Note: what was meant here was to do anything different, just to see what happens. Run a route different from your usual. Or literally walk part of it backwards. Or sideways. Use butter instead of mayonnaise, or mayo instead of butter.) Notice how you tend to cling to the old. Notice where that serves you and where it doesn’t.
Question the old, from the smallest detail (e.g. How you brush your teeth) to the largest aim (is that really your aim)? Pick one thing each day to question.
I’m having a blast walking backwards and sideways (so far). Let me know what you try, how it goes and how it makes you feel.
I’m no expert numerologer, but I do know that 2008 is a “1” year. That is, 2+0+0+8 = 10, and 1+0 = 1. (Yes, that’s how they do it.) And 1 is the energy of the new — new beginnings, new directions, new projects, new ideas. It’s the energy of opportunity, of independence, of leadership, of concentration and focus. It also embodies courage, originality and decisiveness.
Perhaps that’s why, when I sat down to meditate on New Year’s Day, the following came through, with instructions to write it down, so I could pass it on:
It’s a new year. New patterns are possible. Revel in the new, whether that’s a new color, a new thought, a new dish, a new item of clothing, a new project. Pay particular attention to new thoughts that cross your mind and LISTEN to them. These are new energies, not all of which have been on earth before, trying to impress upon you a new way of being. It can start in any way at all, as a seed starts. If you let it unfold and express itself, it will lead in new directions. So the choice of a new color may lead you to pick up a stone of that color which will affect you with its energies, its properties. Or it may lead you to pick different flowers in the market, or different flowers to plant, which will teach you different things by the way they unfold or go to seed. If you have tended to go fast, slow down. If you have tended to be cautious, now is the time to take a risk and jump! Be attentive to the energy of the new and see how it leads you down a different path, one of healing. (if your current path healed everything, you’d be perfect by now! And manifesting everything you choose.)
Pick one new thing to do each day this year — and see how you are different by the end of the year! See how much joy it brings you. (Note: what was meant here was to do anything different, just to see what happens. Run a route different from your usual. Or literally walk part of it backwards. Or sideways. Use butter instead of mayonnaise, or mayo instead of butter.) Notice how you tend to cling to the old. Notice where that serves you and where it doesn’t.
Question the old, from the smallest detail (e.g. How you brush your teeth) to the largest aim (is that really your aim)? Pick one thing each day to question.
I’m having a blast walking backwards and sideways (so far). Let me know what you try, how it goes and how it makes you feel.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Succeed in the new year!
I’ve been doing a year-end review of my goals and intentions from last year (I did better on some than others, of course), and setting goals and intentions for the coming year. (Goals are specific targets, while intentions are more ways of being.) And of course, both of my clients yesterday chose to focus on what was coming up in the next year and how to set intentions, set goals, shape affirmations and take actions to move ahead in their desired directions. This is an important thing to do every year, whether you do it at your birthday, which is great for personal goals, or at year-end (either calendar or fiscal), which is probably more appropriate for a business. Here’s why:
In a study of 1979 Harvard Business School graduates, those graduating were asked, "Have you set clear, written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?" Only
- 3% of the graduates had written goals and plans;
- 13% had goals, but they were not in writing; and
- 84 percent had no specific goals at all.
Ten years later, the members of the class were interviewed again, and the findings were amazing. The 13% of the class who had goals were earning, on average, twice as much as the 84% who had no goals at all. And the 3% who had clear, written goals were earning, on average, 10 times as much as the other 97% put together. (Info from “What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School”)
It occurred to me to write to you to suggest that you might want to
- clarify your choices for the next year,
- set some goals and/or intentions,
- make sure your affirmations and your action plans support your choices, and/or
- psychically look at the lay of the land in your business (the competition, your partners, or your negotiations) or personal life (love life, anyone?).
I’m offering you 5 free minutes (on a minimum 20 minute session), with all of my tools, tips and techniques, to support you in all of that. This offer is only good for appointments booked between now and Jan. 3, 2008, as its intention is to help you start the new year off right. (omg, can you believe it? 2008!)
In a study of 1979 Harvard Business School graduates, those graduating were asked, "Have you set clear, written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?" Only
- 3% of the graduates had written goals and plans;
- 13% had goals, but they were not in writing; and
- 84 percent had no specific goals at all.
Ten years later, the members of the class were interviewed again, and the findings were amazing. The 13% of the class who had goals were earning, on average, twice as much as the 84% who had no goals at all. And the 3% who had clear, written goals were earning, on average, 10 times as much as the other 97% put together. (Info from “What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School”)
It occurred to me to write to you to suggest that you might want to
- clarify your choices for the next year,
- set some goals and/or intentions,
- make sure your affirmations and your action plans support your choices, and/or
- psychically look at the lay of the land in your business (the competition, your partners, or your negotiations) or personal life (love life, anyone?).
I’m offering you 5 free minutes (on a minimum 20 minute session), with all of my tools, tips and techniques, to support you in all of that. This offer is only good for appointments booked between now and Jan. 3, 2008, as its intention is to help you start the new year off right. (omg, can you believe it? 2008!)
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Happy Holidays!
Wishing you all the joy of the season -- all year long!This 'quilted' Christmas tree is done from photos of apples (the red), sand dollars (the beige), squash (the gold stars), coffee beans (the brown tree trunk), and about a dozen different green plants. So Nature wishes you 'Happy Holidays' along with me!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
How Psychics Have Fun (Part 3)
Last weekend, I had the privilege of hosting Mark Macy (www.spiritfaces.com) and his Luminator (more on that machine later), for a couple of parties, where he described his research into instrumental transcommunication (www.worlditc.org), i.e. using electronic equipment to talk with the 'dead'. The reason I say 'dead' in quotations is that once you've seen his research, you can never again believe that the spirit that leaves a dead body actually dies. His evidence includes computer passages, typed from a computer which was turned on without anyone physically in the room, and which included information only known to the 'dead' woman and her still living husband, and a message left on Mark's own telephone answering machine from a colleague who was 'dead'.
While Mark's presentation is clear and convincing, the best examples of transcommunication he shows are the ones provided by the audience itself. With the Luminator running, he takes Polaroid photos of audience volunteers, and many of the photos have faces completely different from the physical ones of the photo subjects. (I've included 3 of my photos -- one of me (as me, not the best photo, oh, well), one of me that is clearly not me (as there maybe two faces, and at least the nose and mouth aren't mine), and one of my paternal grandmother, who might be the face in the second photo (or maybe not). The only alteration to the polaroid camera is that black tape is place over the light sensor so that the flash doesn't go off, because the spirit faces need a low light situation to be seen on film.
Even more fun for me was getting to hang out with the Luminator. This machine seems to change the electromagnetic field in an area at least a hundred or so feet in diameter. Another clairvoyant who was there described it as changing the energy of the space in my home to that of the borderline between the worlds ('here' and 'hereafter'). At first, I was really taken aback by its power -- it felt like my body was on some kind of speed, or having an adrenaline rush, though my mind was completely normal. As I got used to it, though, something amazing happened. I was 'shown' what happens when you 'die'. I did not have the experience of the tunnel that most near-death experiencers describe (not that I was near death in any way), but doors opened from my heart and I came out on a beautiful landscape, which I was told was different for each person. After a few moments of enjoying that, I was showered with a beautiful green light that permeated me, and then a beautiful yellow or golden light that did the same. After a while, that faded away, and I was back in the beautiful landscape, but this time, there were thousands of 'people' there. (I think this is the welcoming party that everyone talks about.) I was at a distance, hovering in the sky, looking at the assembled group, but I noticed that if I asked for someone, they'd sort of come to the front of the group, or perhaps I zoomed in to them. I was given to understand that in a way, this 'party' is somewhat holographic, as if each soul sent a hologram of a part of itself that I would recognize, not necessarily that the whole soul was there.
A while later, a reproducible way to talk to 'dead' people occurred to me. All I need to do is go back into my heart, open the doors out onto the landscape, be cleansed by light, come out at the party -- and then ask for a particular 'person'. So I tried it with my husband's father, who 'died' when he was 15. I learned some things about him that my husband could verify, which believe me, I didn't know, and others that made sense to him, though he could not actually verify them.
The next day, I happened to be teaching my day-long 'Psychic Skills Workshop', and offered a guided meditation of the process to the participants as a bonus session after class. Everyone stayed, and everyone got to their landscape, and everyone found a person -- not always the person they had thought to contact, but someone they knew! Because it was the first time I had ever done the meditation, I didn't leave enough time for people to have satisfying conversations with those they contacted. Oh, well, that's how you learn.
The Ten Commandments need a rewrite!
It occurs to me that, although the title of teh last post is actually a play on the sitcom title, “8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter”, it sounds a little like the Ten Commandments. Now, I’m not knocking those, but NLP teaches that the unconscious mind doesn’t understand the word ‘not’ (try not to think of a purple elephant), so eight of those commandments, on the unconscious level, are really telling people to behave badly. That is, to the unconscious mind, they read like this:
Maybe that’s why the world is such a mess!
How about a rewrite?
- Thou shalt not Have other gods before me. (Materialism, anyone?)
- Thou shalt not Make graven images. (All those religious icons, perhaps?)
- Thou shalt not Take the name of the Lord in vain. (We sure all swear a lot.)
- Keep the Sabbath holy. (One of the two positive ones, though it isn’t honored much in our culture.)
- Honor thy father and mother. (Most of us do try.)
- Thou shalt not Kill. (Hmmm... War?)
- Thou shalt not Commit adultery. (Certainly lots of that going on.)
- Thou shalt not Steal (Yup, that, too.)
- Thou shalt not Lie. (And that.)
- Thou shalt not Be jealous. (And that, too, I suppose, though it’s less obvious.)
Maybe that’s why the world is such a mess!
How about a rewrite?
- God is more vast than can be comprehended by the human mind.
- So stop with the pictures, okay?
- Respect God.
- Keep the Sabbath holy.
- Honor thy father and mother.
- Respect life.
- Respect other people and their relationships.
- Respect other people’s property rights.
- Tell the truth.
- Be grateful for what you have.
11 Simple Rules for a Happy Life
I am not foolish enough, nor do I have enough hubris, to think that what follows is a complete list, but it’s everything I can think of at the moment (and it is how I try to live, but like everyone else, I’m imperfect). I am certainly open to suggestions, so please send them along and I’ll post any updated versions here.
1) Act from love.
2) Be careful what you do and what you think. You are responsible for your actions and therefore for your consequences.
3) Live your truth/higher perception to the best of your ability.
4) Respect others.
5) Respect nature.
6) Respect limits, including the ones you reasonably set, and expect others to as well.
7) Honor your agreements. You can keep an agreement as is, or you can renegotiate it, but don’t change an agreement unilaterally (which includes not telling the other person for any reason, aka ‘flaking out’.)
8) If it feels good, and it doesn’t harm anyone or anything else, do more of it. This is the Universe (aka God) speaking to you through your desires.
9) Be clear about what you want — it’s probably the only way to get it. Remember, thoughts are actions in energy form.
10) You will never know everything (nor will anyone else), so stay humble.
11) When in doubt, see rule #1.
1) Act from love.
- Be kind, accepting, tolerant, patient -- and that includes acting that way toward yourself!
- Be mindful of the divine flow.
2) Be careful what you do and what you think. You are responsible for your actions and therefore for your consequences.
- Actions have consequences.
- Thoughts are actions in energy form.
- Appreciate what you have, because what you focus on, expands.
3) Live your truth/higher perception to the best of your ability.
- Be who you are, not who you think you are supposed to be. The world doesn’t need another pale imitation of some commercial ideal; it needs real people, being who they are, and bringing their unique gifts and point of view to heal the problems we have.
- Listen to your own higher wisdom. We all have access, even if we’ve been taught not to use it because it’s been too much of a threat to the power structure.
- Tell the truth, whenever possible (you may not know it, or it may conflict with another of these rules, in which case, see #11). Remember, spoken and written words are actions.
4) Respect others.
- Part I: The Platinum Rule: Treat people as they wish to be treated.
- Part II: In the absence of the Platinum Rule (that is, when you don’t know how someone else would like to be treated), use the Golden Rule: treat others how you wish to be treated.
5) Respect nature.
- This includes your own body (eat food, not chemicals).
- Use as few resources as you need to to do the job properly and comfortably.
- Turn down the thermostat (or turn it up in the summer — or better yet, open the windows and let nature in!).
- Turn off the lights you don’t need.
- Walk (you’ll get to know your neighbors and neighborhood) for your errands (it’s great exercise, too!).
- Recycle.
- Share: borrow and return in good condition (neighbors and friends are a great resource) and be willing to lend, too. This builds community.
- Buy used or recycled, or better yet, ask if you really need something before you buy it.
- Don't print if you don't have to, and if you have to print, use both sides of your paper.
- Take your name off the mailing lists (so the paper isn’t wasted).
- Don’t drive if you don’t have to (carpool! Or take public transit — you might meet someone interesting).
- Grow what food you can — it’ll taste good, and feel good, too.
- You get the idea.
6) Respect limits, including the ones you reasonably set, and expect others to as well.
- It’s okay to know your limits and to be clear in stating them.
- ‘No’ means ‘no’, whether someone else is saying it, or you are.
- Get 7 hours of sleep a night (research shows it makes a big difference in your quality of life).
- If someone isn't respecting your limits, you have a right, or maybe even a responsibility, to teach them to respect your limits, or to ask them to leave, or to get away from them.
7) Honor your agreements. You can keep an agreement as is, or you can renegotiate it, but don’t change an agreement unilaterally (which includes not telling the other person for any reason, aka ‘flaking out’.)
8) If it feels good, and it doesn’t harm anyone or anything else, do more of it. This is the Universe (aka God) speaking to you through your desires.
9) Be clear about what you want — it’s probably the only way to get it. Remember, thoughts are actions in energy form.
10) You will never know everything (nor will anyone else), so stay humble.
11) When in doubt, see rule #1.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Funeral
Well, actually, a memorial service, as she was cremated. But it sucked anyway. I mean, most everyone was pretty positive - one speaker said, Charlotte didn't need a eulogy, because everyone knew she was light on earth, grace and compassion personified, as well as a lot of fun. But many of us, including me, got tearful.
What was hard for me wasn't that Charlotte 'died', because if I can't see her or feel her, that's a failure of my communication, not that she has gone out of existence. No, it's seeing my friends suffer. And these are women (and one man, but I think for him it's more about mortality) who know as much as I do that she still exists. One of them, who says, tearfully, that's she not doing well, probably has talked with her, herself. So telling them that I know for a fact that Charlotte is fine doesn't help at all. So there isn't much I can do. I have offered to be there for my friends -- we'll all have to pull together. I feel pretty exhausted, pretty drained by it.
I understand that funerals are for the living, but I really get now, how selfish grief is. It's not about the person who 'died', it's about the person who still 'lives' and what they 'lost'. And perhaps funerals help, so that people don't feel alone in their grief, but maybe they make it worse, too, because all that sadness and loss is in one room together, reinforcing itself. And we all know that the 'dead' person wouldn't want us to feel awful.
As Charlotte says, "There is nowhere that I am not." Wow! So she really is right here. Was there in the room with us, too.
Though I must say, I kept expecting Charlotte, in her body, to walk around a corner into the hall.
Before the event, I 'saw' that I was supposed to stand in the back right corner of the room, and send healing energy into it. I spent the entire service standing in the back corner, gave my seat to a friend, in fact, so I could do it. I asked 'the folks' to send energy, and at points could 'see' a golden light in the room. And I tried, as much as I could, to attach the frayed ends of people's cords to Charlotte to the light. I don't know how well that worked, but I think I 'heard', as I fell asleep last night, that I had done a good thing.
Today, I'm going to help her (adult) daughter, an only child, deal with the financial picture, which I understand isn't pretty, because of all the medical bills (don't get me started on national health insurance, which we should have). Maureen shouldn't lose the house she grew up in because her Mom had the temerity to get sick. At least I can try to help.
What was hard for me wasn't that Charlotte 'died', because if I can't see her or feel her, that's a failure of my communication, not that she has gone out of existence. No, it's seeing my friends suffer. And these are women (and one man, but I think for him it's more about mortality) who know as much as I do that she still exists. One of them, who says, tearfully, that's she not doing well, probably has talked with her, herself. So telling them that I know for a fact that Charlotte is fine doesn't help at all. So there isn't much I can do. I have offered to be there for my friends -- we'll all have to pull together. I feel pretty exhausted, pretty drained by it.
I understand that funerals are for the living, but I really get now, how selfish grief is. It's not about the person who 'died', it's about the person who still 'lives' and what they 'lost'. And perhaps funerals help, so that people don't feel alone in their grief, but maybe they make it worse, too, because all that sadness and loss is in one room together, reinforcing itself. And we all know that the 'dead' person wouldn't want us to feel awful.
As Charlotte says, "There is nowhere that I am not." Wow! So she really is right here. Was there in the room with us, too.
Though I must say, I kept expecting Charlotte, in her body, to walk around a corner into the hall.
Before the event, I 'saw' that I was supposed to stand in the back right corner of the room, and send healing energy into it. I spent the entire service standing in the back corner, gave my seat to a friend, in fact, so I could do it. I asked 'the folks' to send energy, and at points could 'see' a golden light in the room. And I tried, as much as I could, to attach the frayed ends of people's cords to Charlotte to the light. I don't know how well that worked, but I think I 'heard', as I fell asleep last night, that I had done a good thing.
Today, I'm going to help her (adult) daughter, an only child, deal with the financial picture, which I understand isn't pretty, because of all the medical bills (don't get me started on national health insurance, which we should have). Maureen shouldn't lose the house she grew up in because her Mom had the temerity to get sick. At least I can try to help.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Boo Hoo
I felt awful because I'd missed Charlotte's leaving of her body, as if, had I been there, I would have done enough for her, or been complete with her somehow. I desperately wanted to apologize.
I'm not a reliable medium under the best of circumstances -- sometimes 'dead' folks come through very clearly, and sometimes not at all. And this was definitely not the best of circumstances. What to do on a Sunday night? I called my friend, Kat, with whom I trade readings and NLP work regularly, and asked, "How are you as a medium?"
"Pretty good right now," she replied.
So we got into it. And actually, she had had one phone conversation with Charlotte, several months back, when Charlotte wanted a reference on a healer with whom Kat had trained. So perhaps that made it easier.
I knew she 'had' Charlotte, because when I asked Charlotte (through Kat) if she'd seen Boo (Charlotte's cat, whom I loved, who'd crossed over about 6 months before Charlotte, eaten by a coyote -- and that never happens in Mill Valley), she replied in a very flat tone, "Boohoo". This was the title of an email Charlotte had sent me announcing Boo's crossing, which I'd thought was wonderfully funny, even as I missed Boo. And it was something I'd remarked to Charlotte about more than once.
So I apologized to Charlotte for not being there when she left her body -- and she told me she hadn't wanted me to be there! At which point I realized a few things:
** Grief over someone's death has a few separate components:
"Let me see what I can do", I answered, and then silently asked all the folks (some would call them archangels, but I'm not personally clear on their titles) who assist me in readings to help Charlotte. Almost instantly, Charlotte said, "I'm warm" and Kat said she could literally feel her own body get warmer. For me, this was verification that the folks do indeed hear me, and do respond. Way cool! (Or I suppose that Charlotte 'heard' my intention from whatever plane she was in.) But somehow, I did do something. That felt pretty amazing, and Charlotte told me that she wanted me to know how powerful I am, even on one of my worst days.
Thank you, Charlotte, for your kindness and our concern, even after you've left Earth. I'm glad you made a compassionate choice for yourself, and wish you well on your way. Come see me when I cross over (hopefully a long time from now.) And than you, Kat, for you assistance.
I'm not a reliable medium under the best of circumstances -- sometimes 'dead' folks come through very clearly, and sometimes not at all. And this was definitely not the best of circumstances. What to do on a Sunday night? I called my friend, Kat, with whom I trade readings and NLP work regularly, and asked, "How are you as a medium?"
"Pretty good right now," she replied.
So we got into it. And actually, she had had one phone conversation with Charlotte, several months back, when Charlotte wanted a reference on a healer with whom Kat had trained. So perhaps that made it easier.
I knew she 'had' Charlotte, because when I asked Charlotte (through Kat) if she'd seen Boo (Charlotte's cat, whom I loved, who'd crossed over about 6 months before Charlotte, eaten by a coyote -- and that never happens in Mill Valley), she replied in a very flat tone, "Boohoo". This was the title of an email Charlotte had sent me announcing Boo's crossing, which I'd thought was wonderfully funny, even as I missed Boo. And it was something I'd remarked to Charlotte about more than once.
So I apologized to Charlotte for not being there when she left her body -- and she told me she hadn't wanted me to be there! At which point I realized a few things:
** Grief over someone's death has a few separate components:
- Missing the person, which is partly your own habit body, and partly cords dissolving
- Your habit body likes things to stay the same. Maybe this is your neurology, which can't handle paying attention to too many things at the same time, or perhaps its the etheric body. It's the part of you that likes to know if you call a certain phone number, you'll hear a certain voice.
- We all have energetic cords between our chakras, and the chakras of those we are close to. These cords dissolve when a relationship ends (e.g. a romantic relationship) or when someone dies. That's not fun, because we still have the ends of the cords to deal with, like an umbilical cord which is cut but not tied or clamped off -- the ends are just left raw and open.
- Feeling badly that you hadn't done right by the person. But you really can't judge what was "doing right by" someone else, at least not on this plane, because you can't know what his or her soul actually wanted. All you can do is live the best you can up to your own standards, and give yourself the benefit of the doubt, when you do something uncharacteristically forgetful, or even nasty, to someone else -- perhaps you were doing something his or her soul needed you to do.
"Let me see what I can do", I answered, and then silently asked all the folks (some would call them archangels, but I'm not personally clear on their titles) who assist me in readings to help Charlotte. Almost instantly, Charlotte said, "I'm warm" and Kat said she could literally feel her own body get warmer. For me, this was verification that the folks do indeed hear me, and do respond. Way cool! (Or I suppose that Charlotte 'heard' my intention from whatever plane she was in.) But somehow, I did do something. That felt pretty amazing, and Charlotte told me that she wanted me to know how powerful I am, even on one of my worst days.
Thank you, Charlotte, for your kindness and our concern, even after you've left Earth. I'm glad you made a compassionate choice for yourself, and wish you well on your way. Come see me when I cross over (hopefully a long time from now.) And than you, Kat, for you assistance.
Monday, November 26, 2007
So this angel walks into a bar...
Sometimes my life feels like a bad movie -- so trite that you almost can't script it.
Scene 1: Clearing the Clutter
Yesterday, I had a great day, working on cleaning out more clutter from the house and the garage, culminating in a trip with a very full car to Goodwill in mid afternoon. I was supposed to be working on my audio equipment, getting it to work reliably, but that seemed really hard, and I was having fun (!) moving things into the car, and reorganizing the garage, so I kept putting it off. Finally I had a carful, went to Goodwill and dropped it off.
Scene 2: Phone Call
On my return, guilt led me to my desk, where I happened to notice the message light blinking on my phone.
There was a message from a friend, several hours old, saying that a mutual good friend, whom I'll call Charlotte, was in the hospital on her death bed.
Flashback:
Charlotte was the soul of compassion, and the essence of grace, a beautiful spirit in a beautiful body. Though she had not lived a particularly easy life, a single mother who worked really hard at a variety of businesses (from running an in-home day care so she could be there for her toddler, to a jewelry store, to a small therapy practice) and jobs (HR and office support) to support and raise her wonderful (now grown) daughter, she left everything she touched more beautiful and more peaceful. She always knew exactly what to say to ease suffering, always had a smile, a gentle laugh and a positive, philosophical attitude for the more difficult parts of life -- the broken hearts, the illnesses, the financial hardships, including her own. At points when I was low, I always knew I could call her, and I'm sure her other friends knew that, too.
I knew Charlotte was sick, had, in fact, been increasingly sick over the last 10 years. But I'd seen her a few weeks ago, and she'd been in good spirits, saying she was getting better after a real scare.
Scene 2, continued
Though I returned the call immediately, it was too late. Charlotte had already left her body. Had I heard the phone ring, I would have barely had time enough to get to the hospital (an hour away) to say a brief goodbye.
Apparently she had left her body peacefully, attended by a Tibetan Buddhist lama and several good friends. And I know, given the state of her physical body, that it was a good choice to leave now, and gift of compassion to herself. Charlotte, who was always so giving to others, had finally given herself the gift of freedom.
I could only have a short conversation with Ann, the woman who'd called me, because she was too teary. Ann is a very strong woman, and I could hear her trying to stay strong and practical -- but she couldn't. The pain was too fresh. We settled on me calling the next day to get Charlotte's daughter's phone number to see how I can help.
Scene 3: Conversation in the kitchen
So I came upstairs into the kitchen, where my husband was seated at the kitchen table, reading email on his laptop. As I entered, he said cheerily, "Hey, I've got something to show you," to which I replied, "Charlotte died." I caught him up on the news, and then he said, "What I was just about to show you is kind of the opposite of that." There were photos of his cousin's brand new baby girl!
So that's when it hit me... life on earth is kind of like this big saloon. You enter through the swinging doors (take a body), have a drink, some food, hook up, break up, maybe play a game of poker, or pour a beer for someone else, watch the dramas unfolding around you, and leave again through those same swinging doors. Life is not about the tables and the chairs in the bar (clearing the clutter), it's about the angels who come and go.
Scene 1: Clearing the Clutter
Yesterday, I had a great day, working on cleaning out more clutter from the house and the garage, culminating in a trip with a very full car to Goodwill in mid afternoon. I was supposed to be working on my audio equipment, getting it to work reliably, but that seemed really hard, and I was having fun (!) moving things into the car, and reorganizing the garage, so I kept putting it off. Finally I had a carful, went to Goodwill and dropped it off.
Scene 2: Phone Call
On my return, guilt led me to my desk, where I happened to notice the message light blinking on my phone.
There was a message from a friend, several hours old, saying that a mutual good friend, whom I'll call Charlotte, was in the hospital on her death bed.
Flashback:
Charlotte was the soul of compassion, and the essence of grace, a beautiful spirit in a beautiful body. Though she had not lived a particularly easy life, a single mother who worked really hard at a variety of businesses (from running an in-home day care so she could be there for her toddler, to a jewelry store, to a small therapy practice) and jobs (HR and office support) to support and raise her wonderful (now grown) daughter, she left everything she touched more beautiful and more peaceful. She always knew exactly what to say to ease suffering, always had a smile, a gentle laugh and a positive, philosophical attitude for the more difficult parts of life -- the broken hearts, the illnesses, the financial hardships, including her own. At points when I was low, I always knew I could call her, and I'm sure her other friends knew that, too.
I knew Charlotte was sick, had, in fact, been increasingly sick over the last 10 years. But I'd seen her a few weeks ago, and she'd been in good spirits, saying she was getting better after a real scare.
Scene 2, continued
Though I returned the call immediately, it was too late. Charlotte had already left her body. Had I heard the phone ring, I would have barely had time enough to get to the hospital (an hour away) to say a brief goodbye.
Apparently she had left her body peacefully, attended by a Tibetan Buddhist lama and several good friends. And I know, given the state of her physical body, that it was a good choice to leave now, and gift of compassion to herself. Charlotte, who was always so giving to others, had finally given herself the gift of freedom.
I could only have a short conversation with Ann, the woman who'd called me, because she was too teary. Ann is a very strong woman, and I could hear her trying to stay strong and practical -- but she couldn't. The pain was too fresh. We settled on me calling the next day to get Charlotte's daughter's phone number to see how I can help.
Scene 3: Conversation in the kitchen
So I came upstairs into the kitchen, where my husband was seated at the kitchen table, reading email on his laptop. As I entered, he said cheerily, "Hey, I've got something to show you," to which I replied, "Charlotte died." I caught him up on the news, and then he said, "What I was just about to show you is kind of the opposite of that." There were photos of his cousin's brand new baby girl!
So that's when it hit me... life on earth is kind of like this big saloon. You enter through the swinging doors (take a body), have a drink, some food, hook up, break up, maybe play a game of poker, or pour a beer for someone else, watch the dramas unfolding around you, and leave again through those same swinging doors. Life is not about the tables and the chairs in the bar (clearing the clutter), it's about the angels who come and go.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
How to Change Your Mood FAST
Have you ever been unfocused before an exam, when you really needed to concentrate instead?
Or have you ever been really nervous before giving a lecture, when instead you needed to be confident?
Or perhaps you’ve been down in the dumps when you needed to be ‘on’ and positive at a social event?
We’ve all had the experience of wanting or needing, for one reason or another, to be in a different mood that the one we were actually in. Most of us just give in, accept our moods, and do the best we can. But there is a quick, easy way to shift your mood when you must, or even just when you choose to. No drugs, no pills, no cost, no side effects!
It’s really simple. It’s easy, too. It’s called ‘anchoring’ a positive emotional state.
In his wonderful online Encyclopedia of NLP ( http://nlpuniversitypress.com/indexA.html)”, Robert Dilts says:
“...“anchoring” refers to the process of associating an internal response with some environmental or mental trigger, so that the response may be quickly, and sometimes covertly, reaccessed.”
If you’re American and have ever heard the first notes of The Star Spangled Banner, and noticed that your right hand flew to cover your heart, even before you were aware of what it was doing, you have experienced a powerful anchor. (If you’re not American, perhaps you’ve seen this and puzzled over it.) If you smell a particular cooking smell and are instantly back in, say, your grandmother’s kitchen, you’ve experienced an anchor. If your partner has ever said, “We need to talk” and you’ve felt icy fingers of fear crawl up your back, you’ve experienced an anchor.
In a famous experiment, Pavlov used this stimulus-response conditioning to get dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell. He rang a bell and then gave them food so often that they associated the food with the sound of the bell, anticipating the food so well that they began to salivate just from the sound, even when no food was present.
All of these examples show that a trigger, a stimulus, can instantly and automatically result in a response. Most of these anchors, that is, trigger-response pairs, were set unconsciously (at least, unconsciously by us!). But what if you could set one intentionally?
You can! You can set an anchor to stimulate a positive emotion whenever you need it. Now, with a little advance preparation, you can turn lack of focus into concentration, or a case of nerves into confidence, or feeling low into feeling good. It just takes a little advance preparation.
Before you need the anchor, in a quiet place at any convenient time, do the following:
1) Pick an anchor. I generally recommend hand positions that you don’t normally use (like touching the thumb and pinkie of your non-dominant hand), for a couple of reasons:
- you can do them anywhere, any time
- they’re unobtrusive
- they take a minimum of effort
- they’re uncontaminated by other feelings
2) Think of a specific time and place when you really felt the way you’re choosing to feel. Make it really real for yourself by graphically imagining the scene:
- seeing what you saw around you at the time, looking out through your own eyes at the time
- hearing what you heard, no matter how faint
smelling any smells that were associated with the time and place that you left how you choose to feel now
- touching something in the scene
- feeling all the feelings that go with the flood of emotion. Really notice where those feelings are in your body.
3) When you are completely associated into the positive state that you’re choosing, especially feeling the internal feelings strongly, then set your anchor (touch your thumb to your pinkie).
4) Relax for a minute or so, distracting yourself with something else.
5) Repeat steps 2 – 4 several times.
6) Test the anchor by using it (touching your thumb to your pinkie). The feelings that you intentionally associated with the anchor should flood your body. If not, repeat steps 2 – 4 again until the using the anchor creates your chosen feelings/emotional state.
Then you have “anchored the resource state” so it’s available to you whenever you need it, say before an exam, a lecture or a social event. Just touch your anchor and go!
Or have you ever been really nervous before giving a lecture, when instead you needed to be confident?
Or perhaps you’ve been down in the dumps when you needed to be ‘on’ and positive at a social event?
We’ve all had the experience of wanting or needing, for one reason or another, to be in a different mood that the one we were actually in. Most of us just give in, accept our moods, and do the best we can. But there is a quick, easy way to shift your mood when you must, or even just when you choose to. No drugs, no pills, no cost, no side effects!
It’s really simple. It’s easy, too. It’s called ‘anchoring’ a positive emotional state.
In his wonderful online Encyclopedia of NLP ( http://nlpuniversitypress.com/indexA.html)”, Robert Dilts says:
“...“anchoring” refers to the process of associating an internal response with some environmental or mental trigger, so that the response may be quickly, and sometimes covertly, reaccessed.”
If you’re American and have ever heard the first notes of The Star Spangled Banner, and noticed that your right hand flew to cover your heart, even before you were aware of what it was doing, you have experienced a powerful anchor. (If you’re not American, perhaps you’ve seen this and puzzled over it.) If you smell a particular cooking smell and are instantly back in, say, your grandmother’s kitchen, you’ve experienced an anchor. If your partner has ever said, “We need to talk” and you’ve felt icy fingers of fear crawl up your back, you’ve experienced an anchor.
In a famous experiment, Pavlov used this stimulus-response conditioning to get dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell. He rang a bell and then gave them food so often that they associated the food with the sound of the bell, anticipating the food so well that they began to salivate just from the sound, even when no food was present.
All of these examples show that a trigger, a stimulus, can instantly and automatically result in a response. Most of these anchors, that is, trigger-response pairs, were set unconsciously (at least, unconsciously by us!). But what if you could set one intentionally?
You can! You can set an anchor to stimulate a positive emotion whenever you need it. Now, with a little advance preparation, you can turn lack of focus into concentration, or a case of nerves into confidence, or feeling low into feeling good. It just takes a little advance preparation.
Before you need the anchor, in a quiet place at any convenient time, do the following:
1) Pick an anchor. I generally recommend hand positions that you don’t normally use (like touching the thumb and pinkie of your non-dominant hand), for a couple of reasons:
- you can do them anywhere, any time
- they’re unobtrusive
- they take a minimum of effort
- they’re uncontaminated by other feelings
2) Think of a specific time and place when you really felt the way you’re choosing to feel. Make it really real for yourself by graphically imagining the scene:
- seeing what you saw around you at the time, looking out through your own eyes at the time
- hearing what you heard, no matter how faint
smelling any smells that were associated with the time and place that you left how you choose to feel now
- touching something in the scene
- feeling all the feelings that go with the flood of emotion. Really notice where those feelings are in your body.
3) When you are completely associated into the positive state that you’re choosing, especially feeling the internal feelings strongly, then set your anchor (touch your thumb to your pinkie).
4) Relax for a minute or so, distracting yourself with something else.
5) Repeat steps 2 – 4 several times.
6) Test the anchor by using it (touching your thumb to your pinkie). The feelings that you intentionally associated with the anchor should flood your body. If not, repeat steps 2 – 4 again until the using the anchor creates your chosen feelings/emotional state.
Then you have “anchored the resource state” so it’s available to you whenever you need it, say before an exam, a lecture or a social event. Just touch your anchor and go!
Thursday, November 01, 2007
How to Open Your Heart
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
In response to my article on “What stops you from claiming your intuition?” (below), a member of this blog wrote back, taking me to task for not mentioning the heart in intuition. While I still believe that higher perception, which is to say, the clairsenses (clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, clairolfaction and clairgustation, corresponding to sight, hearing, feeling, smell and taste, respectively), can operate without the heart, I agree that the heart also perceives truth and enhances the meaning of what is learned through the clairsenses. And it looks to me like the back of the heart chakra is one’s connection to the universe, the Divine, God (or pick our own word here).
In her book, Hands of Light, Barbara Brennan says that each chakra opens both to the front and the back, and that a healthy chakra opens out like a cone in each direction. (For more about the location and meanings of the chakras, see my website, http://www.888-4-hollis.com/services.htm.) The energy in each cone rotates according to the right hand rule, with the thumb pointed at the chakra, that is, point your thumb at your chakra, curve the fingers as if you were making a fist, and that is the direction in which an open chakra’s energy rotates. This means that the two cones of energy emanating (front and back) from one chakra rotate in opposite directions.
You can open a chakra, including your heart chakra simply by visualizing a circle of energy rotating in the appropriate direction, about 6 inches in diameter at about 1 inch away from your skin. I know it works, because I’ve watched pendulums move in accordance with this visualization, when done by me or by others.
In case you’d rather learn to open your heart with a short (about 4 minutes) guided meditation, I’ve included one here (or you may p need to cut and paste the url into your browser: http://player.goldmail.com/default.asp?gmid=dhti8y3tza2n) --
Update: Sorry, that mediation no longer exists! (as of 2/12/09)
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