A couple of weeks ago, I gave a very brief talk on the relationships of meditation, luck, emotional awareness and success, as part of a larger program given by others. There was a lot of material, actually too much for me to cover in the ten minutes I had, and that bugged me. Still, people were quite blown away at the picture I’d drawn for them of how all these things relate to and reinforce each other. So after I sat down to listen to the rest of the program, it hit me — this information needs to get out there! People need to know not only about this reinforcing relationship, but also about all the exercises that one can do to feed the virtuous cycle. So I had an idea... But first...
Quick — How happy are you, on a scale of 0 –10? (Where 10 is “it couldn’t possibly get better — life is a blast!” and 0 is “I’d be better off on the other side”.) Check inside quickly to answer that (whatever number comes up first is the right one). Then scroll down...
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If you answered less than 10, would like to improve that happiness level? (And if the answer is 0 – 1, please go get individualized professional help now.)
If you’re reasonably happy, or so-so, or even kinda bummed, and would like to be happier day to day, read on.
Did you know there are simple, scientifically proven strategies (no, no drugs!) to boost your happiness and sense of well-being, not to mention your success? Because there is now lots of research into the psychology of happiness, emotional awareness, the effects of meditation on the brain and body, and the structure of luck, which you can use to improve your life. But it’s fragmented into hundreds, maybe thousands, of different books and websites.
You could find all this information yourself, but why bother? Do you have that much time? I’ve gathered much of the best of the current research in one place. How much would you be willing to pay for all this information? $300? $500? $1000?
I’m offering it, along with some experiential tools not included in the literature, this one time only, for FREE (of course, there is a small catch, but it is for your own good)!
I’m offering a teleclass, based in solid scientific research into meditation, luck, happiness, and emotional awareness, which aims to boost that happiness level, along with your success, by giving you simple, easy tools and strategies. This is groundbreaking, as I haven’t seen anyone put all these things together in one place. There will be some lecture, especially in the first session, to explain the framework for the class, some guided meditations, some group discussion, homework (about 30 – 40 enjoyable minutes daily — and you may already be doing some or much of it), and questionnaires.
Here are the details:
When: 5 Wednesdays, 6/13, 6/20, 6/27, 7/11 and 7/18, 6PM PDT, which is 9PM EDT, for 45 – 60 minutes each
Where: Wherever you are, by long-distance telephone. However, you must not be driving a car, as it would be too dangerous to take part in the guided meditations.
Cost: Because this is a beta test, it is FREE, if you (a) attend all teleclasses and (b) fill out all questionnaires (don’t worry, they’re short). If you don’t do these things, the cost is $100, which is what it will be in the future. I do this because if you don’t attend all the classes, and don’t fill out all the questionnaires, I don’t know what is working, or how well.
Contact: Hollis Polk at hollis@888-4-hollis.com, 650-616-9377, or 888-4-hollis (888-446-5547) to sign up, get details and/or ask questions.
I’m looking forward to this — it will be fun! Please join me for what promises to be a life-changing journey!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
What's YOUR Story? Part II
Turns out there are some academics studying how people tell their own stories, and how they change over time. The article is here:
This Is Your Life (and How You Tell It) - New York Times
Turns out that how you tell your story afffects your outcomes, or so they think. It may be that people who are more positive tell better stories, as well as hove better outcomes, so the 2 things vary together, rather than one causing the other.
This Is Your Life (and How You Tell It) - New York Times
Turns out that how you tell your story afffects your outcomes, or so they think. It may be that people who are more positive tell better stories, as well as hove better outcomes, so the 2 things vary together, rather than one causing the other.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
How a thing begins is how it will continue
In the fall of my senior year in college, I went on my very first "real" job interview for a post college job, with a very prestigious consulting firm. I expected that at the end of the day, I would either be thrilled because I had a job offer, or seriously bummed because I didn't. But it didn't work out that way.
The company made me a job offer, and then pressured me strongly to accept it on the spot, which I didn't feel I could do. After all, it was only October, it was my first interview, and I'd barely started to look. In the end, they gave me the weekend to think it over (the interview was on a Friday). I didn't take the job then, but we agreed to talk again in the spring. I eventually accepted the job.
And spent the next 2 years feeling manipulated and used. You see, the way they made job offers was the way they treated their employees -- badly, peremptorily. The way one does something, whether it is a person or an organization, is likely the way it does anything and everything.
And so it is with the Bush administration. They stole the 2000 and 2004 elections, and continued with their pattern of lawlessness, from lying about the reasons for going to war, to outing a CIA agent whose husband spoke out against those lies, to attempting to use the Justice Dept. to steal elections, to illegally spying on American citizens, and on and on. You know the litany.
Beware a bad beginining -- people are always, always, always showing and telling you who they are.
The company made me a job offer, and then pressured me strongly to accept it on the spot, which I didn't feel I could do. After all, it was only October, it was my first interview, and I'd barely started to look. In the end, they gave me the weekend to think it over (the interview was on a Friday). I didn't take the job then, but we agreed to talk again in the spring. I eventually accepted the job.
And spent the next 2 years feeling manipulated and used. You see, the way they made job offers was the way they treated their employees -- badly, peremptorily. The way one does something, whether it is a person or an organization, is likely the way it does anything and everything.
And so it is with the Bush administration. They stole the 2000 and 2004 elections, and continued with their pattern of lawlessness, from lying about the reasons for going to war, to outing a CIA agent whose husband spoke out against those lies, to attempting to use the Justice Dept. to steal elections, to illegally spying on American citizens, and on and on. You know the litany.
Beware a bad beginining -- people are always, always, always showing and telling you who they are.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Ding Dong, Wofie's Gone!
Say it with me, folks:
"May the hearts and minds of those in power be turned to the good of the earth and its people, or may they be removed from power immediately and permanently."
Maybe it's picking up steam...
"May the hearts and minds of those in power be turned to the good of the earth and its people, or may they be removed from power immediately and permanently."
Maybe it's picking up steam...
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Or
Be Careful What You Ask For
You remember that old Disney cartoon, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, don’t you? Maybe you remember it better than I do, because all I remember is that the apprentice used the sorcerer’s tools, while not really knowing how, and made a BIG mess. Well, I’m feeling a bit like that sorcerer’s apprentice at the moment.
I’ve been working with a new, powerful manifesting tool I’ve channeled recently, based in the “Heart of Relationship” (see http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2006/09/web-of-creation.html for details on the Heart of Relationship). And though I’ve advised people for many years that they need to be complete when they ask for something, carefully considering all aspects of what they choose to manifest, I find I’ve been falling short myself! Here’s an example:
I choose to easily manifest a car which runs on vegetable oil. As I’m not a mechanic, I need to either buy some kind of a diesel car and pay someone to convert it (and there is no consensus on what are the best cars to convert), or buy one that someone else has converted. This is looking like quite a project!
First, it probably requires that I have the money for the car (yes, there are other ways, but let’s not quibble). I figure I can find one that I actually want to drive (a relatively recent Jetta TDI) for $15,000 (you can find ancient Mercedes converted for less, but I don’t want an old clunker), which means finding $15,000 so that I can sell my old car after I have purchased the new car. (I generally don’t buy depreciating assets, like cars, with credit. And I hate spending my savings, so I want money to “show up”.) So I do my process, saying “I choose to have $15,000 show up.” That was the complete statement.
A couple of weeks later, while I was out of town, my husband called me to say that there was a FedEx envelope from my investment house for me, and did I want him to open it? Well, I had no idea what this could be, as I hadn’t talked to my financial advisor in months, so yes, I did want him to open it. There was a check for $15,000! Normally, if I want them to send me my own money, I have to fax a request, which I obviously hadn’t done in this case. When I called to find out why I’d been sent a check, the advisor’s assistant could give me no reason, was suitably embarrassed and apologetic, and, of course, resolved the issue as though it never happened.
But I do know, on a deeper level, why I got that check — I got exactly what I asked for -- $15,000 showed up! Now I am being more specific — I choose that a NEW $15,000 show up to buy my veggie oil car!
Be Careful What You Ask For
You remember that old Disney cartoon, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, don’t you? Maybe you remember it better than I do, because all I remember is that the apprentice used the sorcerer’s tools, while not really knowing how, and made a BIG mess. Well, I’m feeling a bit like that sorcerer’s apprentice at the moment.
I’ve been working with a new, powerful manifesting tool I’ve channeled recently, based in the “Heart of Relationship” (see http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/2006/09/web-of-creation.html for details on the Heart of Relationship). And though I’ve advised people for many years that they need to be complete when they ask for something, carefully considering all aspects of what they choose to manifest, I find I’ve been falling short myself! Here’s an example:
I choose to easily manifest a car which runs on vegetable oil. As I’m not a mechanic, I need to either buy some kind of a diesel car and pay someone to convert it (and there is no consensus on what are the best cars to convert), or buy one that someone else has converted. This is looking like quite a project!
First, it probably requires that I have the money for the car (yes, there are other ways, but let’s not quibble). I figure I can find one that I actually want to drive (a relatively recent Jetta TDI) for $15,000 (you can find ancient Mercedes converted for less, but I don’t want an old clunker), which means finding $15,000 so that I can sell my old car after I have purchased the new car. (I generally don’t buy depreciating assets, like cars, with credit. And I hate spending my savings, so I want money to “show up”.) So I do my process, saying “I choose to have $15,000 show up.” That was the complete statement.
A couple of weeks later, while I was out of town, my husband called me to say that there was a FedEx envelope from my investment house for me, and did I want him to open it? Well, I had no idea what this could be, as I hadn’t talked to my financial advisor in months, so yes, I did want him to open it. There was a check for $15,000! Normally, if I want them to send me my own money, I have to fax a request, which I obviously hadn’t done in this case. When I called to find out why I’d been sent a check, the advisor’s assistant could give me no reason, was suitably embarrassed and apologetic, and, of course, resolved the issue as though it never happened.
But I do know, on a deeper level, why I got that check — I got exactly what I asked for -- $15,000 showed up! Now I am being more specific — I choose that a NEW $15,000 show up to buy my veggie oil car!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Ding, Dong, Fallwell's Dead
Okay, I feel a little gulty about this, but the truth is that the news of Jerry Falwell's death did cheer me up a bit. Like I said, I'm not proud of it. On theother hand, if his absence helps the world heal, then it's a good thing. And I believe each of us chooses when to go.
They think he died of a heart problem -- I'm not sure he had a heart (See http://www.thecarpetbaggerreport.com/archives/10806.html), which would, of course, qualify.
To distract myself every time I'm tempted to gloat, I say the following prayer:
"May the hearts and minds of those in power be turned to the good of the earth and its people, or may they be removed from power immediately and permanently."
I do this prayer at least once a day, often many times a day. Do you think it helped?
They think he died of a heart problem -- I'm not sure he had a heart (See http://www.thecarpetbaggerreport.com/archives/10806.html), which would, of course, qualify.
To distract myself every time I'm tempted to gloat, I say the following prayer:
"May the hearts and minds of those in power be turned to the good of the earth and its people, or may they be removed from power immediately and permanently."
I do this prayer at least once a day, often many times a day. Do you think it helped?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
The Platinum Rule
Everyone knows the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Pretty simple, and pretty good.
And I’d like to humbly submit the upgrade, the Platinum Rule, “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.”
What do I mean?
We all know that everyone’s different — one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, to quote another folk staple. So why do we assume that someone else would want to be treated the way we wish to be treated? Yes, everyone wants courtesy, respect, love, support and all those other wonderful, non-specific words (nominalizations, for you NLPers). But one person may equate support to being left alone in her grief, while another may equate it with constant companionship.
The Golden Rule can even create problems. Here’s one example: my first husband liked to get his information auditorily, because had a phenomenal auditory memory; he couldn’t see very well, though, and had a lousy visual memory. I, on the other hand, with a great visual memory and a terrible auditory one, wanted to see my information. But of course, we didn’t understand this, and assumed each other’s memory was just like the ours.
So, using the Golden Rule, if I needed to remind him of something, like what to get at the grocery store, I’d leave a note on the back of the front door, where he’d be sure to see it on the way out in the morning, and could take it with him to use at the store in the evening. Of course, half the time, he never saw the note! If he needed me to call someone to renew the auto insurance, he’d tell me before he left for work — and it would slip my mind.
And in the evening, he wouldn’t have gotten what we needed at the grocery, and I wouldn’t have called the insurance agent! Multiply this by a hundred times, and you get the picture. I felt ignored, and he felt like he wasn’t being heard. It was a constant source of friction in our marriage.
Then I learned about representational systems, which are all about how you take in and store information. Some people, like me, are very visual, others primarily auditory, and still others primarily kinesthetic, so they learn by doing. I explained this to my husband, and we began to live by the Platinum Rule — I’d tell him what I needed, and he’d leave me notes. Much better, even though it felt a little weird to both of us!
So, how do you put the Platinum Rule into action? Any time something isn’t gong well in a relationship, ask yourself, do I know what the other person wants, and how they want it? If the answer is ‘no’, or even ‘maybe’, ask the other person! You’ll be glad you did.
And I’d like to humbly submit the upgrade, the Platinum Rule, “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.”
What do I mean?
We all know that everyone’s different — one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, to quote another folk staple. So why do we assume that someone else would want to be treated the way we wish to be treated? Yes, everyone wants courtesy, respect, love, support and all those other wonderful, non-specific words (nominalizations, for you NLPers). But one person may equate support to being left alone in her grief, while another may equate it with constant companionship.
The Golden Rule can even create problems. Here’s one example: my first husband liked to get his information auditorily, because had a phenomenal auditory memory; he couldn’t see very well, though, and had a lousy visual memory. I, on the other hand, with a great visual memory and a terrible auditory one, wanted to see my information. But of course, we didn’t understand this, and assumed each other’s memory was just like the ours.
So, using the Golden Rule, if I needed to remind him of something, like what to get at the grocery store, I’d leave a note on the back of the front door, where he’d be sure to see it on the way out in the morning, and could take it with him to use at the store in the evening. Of course, half the time, he never saw the note! If he needed me to call someone to renew the auto insurance, he’d tell me before he left for work — and it would slip my mind.
And in the evening, he wouldn’t have gotten what we needed at the grocery, and I wouldn’t have called the insurance agent! Multiply this by a hundred times, and you get the picture. I felt ignored, and he felt like he wasn’t being heard. It was a constant source of friction in our marriage.
Then I learned about representational systems, which are all about how you take in and store information. Some people, like me, are very visual, others primarily auditory, and still others primarily kinesthetic, so they learn by doing. I explained this to my husband, and we began to live by the Platinum Rule — I’d tell him what I needed, and he’d leave me notes. Much better, even though it felt a little weird to both of us!
So, how do you put the Platinum Rule into action? Any time something isn’t gong well in a relationship, ask yourself, do I know what the other person wants, and how they want it? If the answer is ‘no’, or even ‘maybe’, ask the other person! You’ll be glad you did.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
The power of prayer hits the NYT
Just had to put this in here, from the NY Times columnist, Tom Friedman:
"The Aussie ‘Big Dry’"
"Almost everywhere you travel these days, people are talking about their weather — and how it has changed. Nowhere have I found this more true, though, than in Australia, where “the big dry,” a six-year record drought, has parched the Aussie breadbasket so severely that on April 19, Prime Minister John Howard actually asked the whole country to pray for rain. “I told people you have to pray for rain,” Mr. Howard remarked to me, adding, “I said it without a hint of irony.”
"And here’s what’s really funny: It actually started to rain! "
"The Aussie ‘Big Dry’"
"Almost everywhere you travel these days, people are talking about their weather — and how it has changed. Nowhere have I found this more true, though, than in Australia, where “the big dry,” a six-year record drought, has parched the Aussie breadbasket so severely that on April 19, Prime Minister John Howard actually asked the whole country to pray for rain. “I told people you have to pray for rain,” Mr. Howard remarked to me, adding, “I said it without a hint of irony.”
"And here’s what’s really funny: It actually started to rain! "
Thursday, May 03, 2007
A side benefit of running
As I mentioned in my last email, I’ve been running as well as walking for the last couple of weeks. I walk until I feel like running (my heart chakra sort of attaches to something in the distance and that pulls me), then run until I feel like walking (usually my throat gets sore).
You just never know what else any particular change will open up. Here’s what I mean:
This method of running requires me to stay present to my body and the surroundings, rather than do affirmations or work out things, like what I’m going to write. This makes me much more aware of my energy field. This in turn makes me much more aware of the energy fields of whatever I pass than I am normally. I think it’s because our energy fields are actually interpenetrating each other. Do you remember doing experiments with magnets and iron filings in junior high science class, so you could see the magnetic fields and their interactions? It’s like that, only I can feel it rather than see it, as if my aura is a giant sense organ. Or to use another metaphor, it’s as if a tree’s field is combing through mine, and vice versa.
Furthermore, I notice those other energy fields much more strongly when I run than when I walk. I suppose that’s because when I walk, I’m going too slowly to notice the subtle differences between different energy fields. For example, when I move quickly, it seems that the energy field of a gingko is much softer than the field of whatever conifer is next on my route.
Have you ever had a similar experience? Because if you have, I’d love to hear about it.
You just never know what else any particular change will open up. Here’s what I mean:
This method of running requires me to stay present to my body and the surroundings, rather than do affirmations or work out things, like what I’m going to write. This makes me much more aware of my energy field. This in turn makes me much more aware of the energy fields of whatever I pass than I am normally. I think it’s because our energy fields are actually interpenetrating each other. Do you remember doing experiments with magnets and iron filings in junior high science class, so you could see the magnetic fields and their interactions? It’s like that, only I can feel it rather than see it, as if my aura is a giant sense organ. Or to use another metaphor, it’s as if a tree’s field is combing through mine, and vice versa.
Furthermore, I notice those other energy fields much more strongly when I run than when I walk. I suppose that’s because when I walk, I’m going too slowly to notice the subtle differences between different energy fields. For example, when I move quickly, it seems that the energy field of a gingko is much softer than the field of whatever conifer is next on my route.
Have you ever had a similar experience? Because if you have, I’d love to hear about it.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Reality Creation Begins at Home!
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, “you create your reality through your beliefs” (to quote Seth, a discarnate entity, in books channeled 30 or so years ago by Jane Roberts). Well, reality creation starts at home, with your identity. How many stories, good or bad, do we tell ourselves about who we are? And I’ve got those stories going on, too.
Now, I’m a also really big believer in playing to one’s strengths. I mean, no one really wants you around for what you’re bad at, right? So unless you’ve been in one of my classes, where I made a joke of it, you don’t know that I referred to myself “one of the slowest runners on earth”. And you don’t know that I can barely carry a tune. Well, actually, the tunes need their own dollies.
This “slow” part of my identity came about in 7th grade, when we first started to run track in gym class. I was small for my age, with short legs, and two years younger than all my classmates, which made me a head shorter than many of them. There were girls whose legs came up to my bottom rib! So naturally, I was embarrassingly slow in that group. I hated being 50 - 100 yards behind everyone else! And it hurt — mostly in my lungs, but also a bit in my legs. Oh, I forced myself, and I kept on forcing myself to run when I couldn’t swim or skate, because back then, it wasn’t known that walking was about as good for you as running. As I got to be an adult, I developed shin splints, and that’s when I completely gave up on running.
I still walk — a lot. 3 miles most days, sometimes more, occasionally less. And in my neighborhood, that means I do serious hills, with stretches that are 20% grade. I hike, too — which is pretty much just walking in nicer surroundings, as near as I can tell. But running... NOT!
The non-musical part of my identity started earlier, when I couldn’t carry a tune as a small child. My Dad kept saying,”Oh, she’ll get it when she gets older; I couldn’t carry a tune till I was about 12, and now I’m fine.” And he was. He could sing, as could my mother and sister.
Also in 7th grade, in a vain attempt to be normal at a school where I was anything but (not only by my age and size, but also by my ethnicity), I joined the Glee Club. The other short girl (a 6th grader) and I sat directly in front of Mrs. Miller at her piano. All year long, Mrs. Miller kept saying that one of us was flat, but she could never tell which one. Occasionally she’d silence everyone else to figure out who it was, with the idea that whoever it was would be, um, invited to leave. She never did, though whether that was figure it out or ask us to leave, I still don’t know. One year of optional humiliation was enough; I learned my lesson, and thereafter confined my singing to solo sing-alongs in the car and “Happy Birthday”, where I figured even if anyone noticed, they wouldn’t care.
Fast forward a few decades.
Last weekend, I joined my more-or-less monthly meditation/discussion group for our very first retreat. The group has built up an amazing energy over the several years we’ve been meditating together. It’s so strong that I feel it literally hold my torso up if I lean in to our circle. And each person I’ve gotten to know is really cool, too — intelligent, articulate, talented, good-hearted, really committed to his or her own spirituality and to community, many of them teachers in their own right. We were going to a beautiful spot in Sonoma, with comfy, though rustic, sleeping cabins, a huge room with a wooden floor and cathedral ceiling for meditation, all set in spectacular gardens — and scrumptious food, too. So it was going to be a great weekend!
And then the group leader, decided that we should run as well as meditate and discuss some texts. He wanted to import the running coach he described as a genius, who “gave him running”, a coach who is used to working with world champions. The group agreed. My reaction was that since I was so bad, any coaching could only help. And hey, someone who can coach champions can probably help anyone. So I was open. Not expecting much, but open.
We arrived at the ranch on Friday afternoon, got settled, and had meditation and discussion before and after dinner, as well as some exercises and meditation before breakfast on Saturday morning. After breakfast, the plan was for meditation to lead into running. Okay, I thought, this is a different approach, and it might actually work for me. No discussion of running form at all. We began with a quick lecture/demo/participation of different running speeds. Then we moved (literally) into a zen walk, where the point is to walk as slowly and mindfully as possible. That’s easy for me, as I grew up skating school figures, which basically require the same focus on the body moving through space. Then the coach, Mike Spino, just said, now you can walk at whatever speed you feel like as long as you maintain your focus. If you lose focus, stop, recollect yourself, and begin again. And if you feel like running, run.
After a little while, I actually wanted to run! This was new! Maybe it was the mindfulness of it, or maybe it was my connection to the group, which included some long-time runners. Then something in my body wouldn’t feel quite right, and I’d go back to walking. Then I’d want to run again. Periodically, Mike would gather us back to teach us something new, or to zen walk, or to do another exercise. In one exercise, we stood and silently shared energy with a partner (whoever was closest to us at the moment) by holding our palms facing our partner’s palms without touching. We were then instructed to have one partner “pack the energy” into the other partner and run together. My partner missed the running together part, so we somehow split off in different directions. Oh, well.
Later on, Mike gathered us in a group out on the driveway, had us focus on a tree 100 yards or so away, visualize throwing a lasso onto the tree, tying the other end around our waists (I connected it to my heart chakra instead) and letting the lasso pull us to the tree. I flew! Okay, it was slightly downhill, but I was passing people! Me, the (now former) slowest runner on earth! I had to change that part of my identity. I’m a runner now.
The next day we went out on a nearby track. We meditated, did the zen walk, walked and ran and walked and ran some more, in any direction (not just around the track). Sometimes we ran as a group, staying together intentionally. Mike taught us another visualization, one of a giant hand coming down from the sky to support us and push us forward. With that one, I felt like my feet barely touched the ground!
And we got another shot at the partner exercise. This time, my partner was a 6’1” ex-NFL linebacker. Oh, God, I thought, how am I ever going to keep up with him? But we shared energy through our facing palms. He wisely decided that he should give me the energy and fell in behind me when we were instructed to run. I could actually feel his hand behind my back, pushing me down the track! And we still weren’t touching.
On the drive back to Sacramento (yes, I’m still out of town, working on my cell phone), it occurred to me that what a great coach does has nothing to do with techniques or skills. A great coach gives you parts of yourself that you could not previously access. I know I do that for people all the time, but I never got what I did, until someone did it for me. Thank you, Mike! I’m truly grateful.
So here’s the really odd part. I indulged myself in an iPod sing-along on the way back to Sacramento, and I’m pretty sure I was on key a lot more often than before. And a few days later, when I called my Mom to sing her “Happy Birthday”, she commented, with no prompting, that I’d done a good job, sung all the right notes. She’s never done that before — she would never say something to make you feel better if it weren’t true — so I believe her. Maybe I can carry a tune? I know I can if I find the right coach to teach me. Maybe I can begin to think of myself as a singer, too.
Now, I’m a also really big believer in playing to one’s strengths. I mean, no one really wants you around for what you’re bad at, right? So unless you’ve been in one of my classes, where I made a joke of it, you don’t know that I referred to myself “one of the slowest runners on earth”. And you don’t know that I can barely carry a tune. Well, actually, the tunes need their own dollies.
This “slow” part of my identity came about in 7th grade, when we first started to run track in gym class. I was small for my age, with short legs, and two years younger than all my classmates, which made me a head shorter than many of them. There were girls whose legs came up to my bottom rib! So naturally, I was embarrassingly slow in that group. I hated being 50 - 100 yards behind everyone else! And it hurt — mostly in my lungs, but also a bit in my legs. Oh, I forced myself, and I kept on forcing myself to run when I couldn’t swim or skate, because back then, it wasn’t known that walking was about as good for you as running. As I got to be an adult, I developed shin splints, and that’s when I completely gave up on running.
I still walk — a lot. 3 miles most days, sometimes more, occasionally less. And in my neighborhood, that means I do serious hills, with stretches that are 20% grade. I hike, too — which is pretty much just walking in nicer surroundings, as near as I can tell. But running... NOT!
The non-musical part of my identity started earlier, when I couldn’t carry a tune as a small child. My Dad kept saying,”Oh, she’ll get it when she gets older; I couldn’t carry a tune till I was about 12, and now I’m fine.” And he was. He could sing, as could my mother and sister.
Also in 7th grade, in a vain attempt to be normal at a school where I was anything but (not only by my age and size, but also by my ethnicity), I joined the Glee Club. The other short girl (a 6th grader) and I sat directly in front of Mrs. Miller at her piano. All year long, Mrs. Miller kept saying that one of us was flat, but she could never tell which one. Occasionally she’d silence everyone else to figure out who it was, with the idea that whoever it was would be, um, invited to leave. She never did, though whether that was figure it out or ask us to leave, I still don’t know. One year of optional humiliation was enough; I learned my lesson, and thereafter confined my singing to solo sing-alongs in the car and “Happy Birthday”, where I figured even if anyone noticed, they wouldn’t care.
Fast forward a few decades.
Last weekend, I joined my more-or-less monthly meditation/discussion group for our very first retreat. The group has built up an amazing energy over the several years we’ve been meditating together. It’s so strong that I feel it literally hold my torso up if I lean in to our circle. And each person I’ve gotten to know is really cool, too — intelligent, articulate, talented, good-hearted, really committed to his or her own spirituality and to community, many of them teachers in their own right. We were going to a beautiful spot in Sonoma, with comfy, though rustic, sleeping cabins, a huge room with a wooden floor and cathedral ceiling for meditation, all set in spectacular gardens — and scrumptious food, too. So it was going to be a great weekend!
And then the group leader, decided that we should run as well as meditate and discuss some texts. He wanted to import the running coach he described as a genius, who “gave him running”, a coach who is used to working with world champions. The group agreed. My reaction was that since I was so bad, any coaching could only help. And hey, someone who can coach champions can probably help anyone. So I was open. Not expecting much, but open.
We arrived at the ranch on Friday afternoon, got settled, and had meditation and discussion before and after dinner, as well as some exercises and meditation before breakfast on Saturday morning. After breakfast, the plan was for meditation to lead into running. Okay, I thought, this is a different approach, and it might actually work for me. No discussion of running form at all. We began with a quick lecture/demo/participation of different running speeds. Then we moved (literally) into a zen walk, where the point is to walk as slowly and mindfully as possible. That’s easy for me, as I grew up skating school figures, which basically require the same focus on the body moving through space. Then the coach, Mike Spino, just said, now you can walk at whatever speed you feel like as long as you maintain your focus. If you lose focus, stop, recollect yourself, and begin again. And if you feel like running, run.
After a little while, I actually wanted to run! This was new! Maybe it was the mindfulness of it, or maybe it was my connection to the group, which included some long-time runners. Then something in my body wouldn’t feel quite right, and I’d go back to walking. Then I’d want to run again. Periodically, Mike would gather us back to teach us something new, or to zen walk, or to do another exercise. In one exercise, we stood and silently shared energy with a partner (whoever was closest to us at the moment) by holding our palms facing our partner’s palms without touching. We were then instructed to have one partner “pack the energy” into the other partner and run together. My partner missed the running together part, so we somehow split off in different directions. Oh, well.
Later on, Mike gathered us in a group out on the driveway, had us focus on a tree 100 yards or so away, visualize throwing a lasso onto the tree, tying the other end around our waists (I connected it to my heart chakra instead) and letting the lasso pull us to the tree. I flew! Okay, it was slightly downhill, but I was passing people! Me, the (now former) slowest runner on earth! I had to change that part of my identity. I’m a runner now.
The next day we went out on a nearby track. We meditated, did the zen walk, walked and ran and walked and ran some more, in any direction (not just around the track). Sometimes we ran as a group, staying together intentionally. Mike taught us another visualization, one of a giant hand coming down from the sky to support us and push us forward. With that one, I felt like my feet barely touched the ground!
And we got another shot at the partner exercise. This time, my partner was a 6’1” ex-NFL linebacker. Oh, God, I thought, how am I ever going to keep up with him? But we shared energy through our facing palms. He wisely decided that he should give me the energy and fell in behind me when we were instructed to run. I could actually feel his hand behind my back, pushing me down the track! And we still weren’t touching.
On the drive back to Sacramento (yes, I’m still out of town, working on my cell phone), it occurred to me that what a great coach does has nothing to do with techniques or skills. A great coach gives you parts of yourself that you could not previously access. I know I do that for people all the time, but I never got what I did, until someone did it for me. Thank you, Mike! I’m truly grateful.
So here’s the really odd part. I indulged myself in an iPod sing-along on the way back to Sacramento, and I’m pretty sure I was on key a lot more often than before. And a few days later, when I called my Mom to sing her “Happy Birthday”, she commented, with no prompting, that I’d done a good job, sung all the right notes. She’s never done that before — she would never say something to make you feel better if it weren’t true — so I believe her. Maybe I can carry a tune? I know I can if I find the right coach to teach me. Maybe I can begin to think of myself as a singer, too.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
More psychic fun with slots!
I received the following response to last week’s email (see my blog here if you missed it: http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com):
25 years ago I spent 3 days in Vegas, during which I released all desire to return. Yet I was with a girl friend and we had fun. We made money on the slots by removing desire to win from our minds. Our method was to stand together and focus on loving each other as one of us operated the machine. We both refused to go into winning desire. We would select machines to move to by ascertaining which one looked friendly and wanted to be included in our loving. Using this method we consistently made small amounts of money on the slots, enough to pay for our lodging and meals while in Vegas.
The various casinos also gave out betting starter packs with 5 or 10 dollars in scrip for use at gaming tables. If we lost, we moved on to another casino. If we won, we bet our winnings. We made a much smaller amount by this method than on the slots where we invested only our own money. I believe this is because the tables involved other people and diminished our focusing ability, compared with when it was only me, her, and the machine at play.
So perhaps one-armed bandits are angels in disguise, teaching unattached love through psycho-feedback!
I think this approach to slot machines is a terrific idea, and am going to try it with my husband. I’m passing it along because it illustrates very clearly some research from Princeton’s psychic lab (the late, lamented PEAR).
The lab had lots of apparatus whose movement was controlled by a random event generator (aka random number generator), where if the last digit of the current number was higher than the last digit of the previous number, it would go one direction, and if the last digit was lower than the last digit of the previous number, it would go the other. So for example, a small fountain of water would be higher or lower, depending on the random number. The idea was to affect the random number, and therefore the apparatus, solely with your intention. Lots of people could do this effectively. (Why does this matter? Well, if you’re going to Jupiter, and your consciousness puts the automatic navigation system even a degree off, you’ll never get there.)
Here’s the interesting thing. It turned out that women and men were each equally effective individually. Two women together were no more effective than one individual. Two men together were no more effective than one individual. But a man and a woman together were 4 times as effective as one individual! And a man and a woman who were a couple were 7 times as effective as one individual!
So the idea of working with the slot machines as a couple is pretty intriguing to me. I’ll let you know what happens.
Hollis
---------------------------------------------------
Hollis Polk
888-4-hollis
(888-446-5547)
www.hollispolk.com
Www.888-4-hollis.com
Helping you create a life you love every single day!
Check out my blog at: http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com
Feel free to forward this message — just please forward it in its entirety. Thanks!
Hollis Polk is a personal coach, who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years. To do this, she blends neurolinguistic and hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance, and the common sense learned in over 20 years of business experience. Hollis is a Master Practitioner of neurolinguistics, a certified hypnotherapist, and has a bachelor’s degree in engineering from Princeton and a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker and investor, and has owned and run several successful businesses.
If you want to know more about Hollis, see her website, http://www.hollispolk.com.
You got this email because of prior contact with me. If you'd like to be removed from this list, please send me an email with remove in the title, and YOUR NAME. (The name is important because it may be the only way I can find you in my database.)
25 years ago I spent 3 days in Vegas, during which I released all desire to return. Yet I was with a girl friend and we had fun. We made money on the slots by removing desire to win from our minds. Our method was to stand together and focus on loving each other as one of us operated the machine. We both refused to go into winning desire. We would select machines to move to by ascertaining which one looked friendly and wanted to be included in our loving. Using this method we consistently made small amounts of money on the slots, enough to pay for our lodging and meals while in Vegas.
The various casinos also gave out betting starter packs with 5 or 10 dollars in scrip for use at gaming tables. If we lost, we moved on to another casino. If we won, we bet our winnings. We made a much smaller amount by this method than on the slots where we invested only our own money. I believe this is because the tables involved other people and diminished our focusing ability, compared with when it was only me, her, and the machine at play.
So perhaps one-armed bandits are angels in disguise, teaching unattached love through psycho-feedback!
I think this approach to slot machines is a terrific idea, and am going to try it with my husband. I’m passing it along because it illustrates very clearly some research from Princeton’s psychic lab (the late, lamented PEAR).
The lab had lots of apparatus whose movement was controlled by a random event generator (aka random number generator), where if the last digit of the current number was higher than the last digit of the previous number, it would go one direction, and if the last digit was lower than the last digit of the previous number, it would go the other. So for example, a small fountain of water would be higher or lower, depending on the random number. The idea was to affect the random number, and therefore the apparatus, solely with your intention. Lots of people could do this effectively. (Why does this matter? Well, if you’re going to Jupiter, and your consciousness puts the automatic navigation system even a degree off, you’ll never get there.)
Here’s the interesting thing. It turned out that women and men were each equally effective individually. Two women together were no more effective than one individual. Two men together were no more effective than one individual. But a man and a woman together were 4 times as effective as one individual! And a man and a woman who were a couple were 7 times as effective as one individual!
So the idea of working with the slot machines as a couple is pretty intriguing to me. I’ll let you know what happens.
Hollis
---------------------------------------------------
Hollis Polk
888-4-hollis
(888-446-5547)
www.hollispolk.com
Www.888-4-hollis.com
Helping you create a life you love every single day!
Check out my blog at: http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com
Feel free to forward this message — just please forward it in its entirety. Thanks!
Hollis Polk is a personal coach, who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years. To do this, she blends neurolinguistic and hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance, and the common sense learned in over 20 years of business experience. Hollis is a Master Practitioner of neurolinguistics, a certified hypnotherapist, and has a bachelor’s degree in engineering from Princeton and a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker and investor, and has owned and run several successful businesses.
If you want to know more about Hollis, see her website, http://www.hollispolk.com.
You got this email because of prior contact with me. If you'd like to be removed from this list, please send me an email with remove in the title, and YOUR NAME. (The name is important because it may be the only way I can find you in my database.)
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
No time to meditate?
Are you one of those people who says, “I used to meditate” or “I meditate sometimes” but “I can’t keep it up because I don’t have time”? Meditation comes in many forms — and it may be something you do without noticing.
Last week I had lunch with a friend, Tim, who, with only a little prompting, began to rhapsodize about fly fishing. You know, standing hip-deep in a stream, casting and waiting and reeling them in, only to let them go, because after all, this is about the experience, not about eating the fish. It had always seemed kind of silly to me, but not when Tim got done telling me about it. He told me about the wonders of being still, connected to all of nature, hearing the rush of water over rapids and the breeze ruffling the trees, feeling the sun on his face, seeing the glint of sunlight on tree leaves, the beauty of myriad colors in a freshly caught rainbow trout, the smell of the stream and the fish. He described the sensitivity he felt in his hands because of the lightweight equipment, and the connection to, no, the dance with the fish as he reeled it in. He’s been doing it for over 20 years, and it’s always a thrill.
That reminded me of figure skating in my childhood. It was different back then, because people actually skated figures — the famed figure eights, as well as three lobed figures, called serpentines, and circles within circles, in many variations — forwards, backwards, turning once or twice in the middle of each circle, and on and on. This required intense concentration on very slow, fluid movements, because if you lost your concentration, even for a moment, a part of your body would bobble; you could see the result of that on the ice as an imperfection from the ideal. (Today, the emphasis is on freeskating, the jumps and spins skated to music, because that is what sells on TV, and sadly, most of the “figure” skating is lost). You skated the same figures over and over and over again, for years sometimes, till you got them right in front of a mostly impartial audience.
And then, today, I found this article in the NY Times, “Your Brain on Baseball”, included below (emphasis mine). David Brooks talks about training the unconscious mind to do things well through repetition and about how some things are done better without thinking about them.
Does this all sound like meditation to you? It sure does to me. In all these cases, your focus solely on what you’re doing chases out random, or even pointed, conscious thoughts, and allows for a wider, occasionally mystical, experience. Maybe you can get that fly fishing, or doing baseball drills, or shooting basketball freethrows. or golfing, or cycling, or running. I do it when I walk, either focusing completely on my surroundings, or on an affirmation (a kind of mantra) as I walk. I have a friend who goes there just by vacuuming — she gets so absorbed in the motion and the look of the carpet!
So if you “don’t have time to meditate”, maybe you can meditate just by focusing on your senses and performance in sports or even mundane tasks. How can you incorporate meditation into every day life?
Your Brain on Baseball
By DAVID BROOKS
It’s spring training fielding practice, and Jeff Kent, the Dodgers second baseman, is covering first. A coach rolls the ball out toward the mound. The pitcher scrambles to pick up the ball. The catcher yells out which base he should throw to. Kent runs over and catches the ball at first.
Jeff Kent is 39 years old and has been playing professionally for 17 years. He’s probably been doing this same drill since he was 10 years old, because the practice drills the Little Leaguers do are basically the same drills the major leaguers do. Why is Jeff Kent, after all these years, still learning to cover first?
Because the institution of baseball understands how to make the most of the human brain.
One of the core messages of brain research is that most mental activity happens in the automatic or unconscious region of the brain. The unconscious mind is not a swamp of repressed memories and childhood traumas, the way Freud imagined. It’s a set of mental activities that the brain has relegated beyond awareness for efficiency’s sake, so the conscious mind can focus on other things. In his book, “Strangers to Ourselves,” Timothy Wilson of the University of Virginia notes that the brain can absorb about 11 million pieces of information a second, of which it can process about 40 consciously. The unconscious brain handles the rest.
The automatic mind generally takes care of things like muscle control. But it also does more ethereal things. It recognizes patterns and construes situations, searching for danger, opportunities or the unexpected. It also shoves certain memories, thoughts, anxieties and emotions up into consciousness.
Baseball is one of those activities that are performed mostly by the automatic mind. Professional baseball players have phenomenal automatic brains.
As Jeff Hawkins points out in his book “On Intelligence,” it is nearly impossible to design a computer with a robotic arm that can catch a ball. The calculations the computer has to make are too complicated to accomplish in time. Baseball players not only can do that with ease, they can hit a split-finger fastball besides.
Over the decades, the institution of baseball has figured out how to instruct the unconscious mind, to make it better at what it does. As we know the automatic brain only by the behavior it produces, so we can instruct it only by forcing it to repeat certain actions. Jeff Kent is practicing covering first after all these years because the patterns of the automatic brain have to be constantly and repetitively reinforced.
But baseball has accomplished another, more important feat. It has developed a series of habits and standards of behavior to keep the conscious mind from interfering with the automatic mind.
Baseball is one of those activities in which the harder you try, the worse you do. The more a pitcher aims the ball, the wilder he becomes. The more a batter tenses, the slower and more tentative his muscles become.
Over the generations, baseball people have developed an infinity of tics and habits to distract and sedate the conscious mind. Managers encourage a preternaturally calm way of being — especially after failure. In the game I happened to see here on Tuesday, Detroit Tigers pitcher Nate Robertson threw poorly, but strutted off the mound as if he’d just slain Achilles. Second baseman Kevin Hooper waved pathetically at a third struck fastball, but walked back to the dugout wearing an expression of utter nonchalance.
This sort of body language helps players remain steady amid humiliation, so they’ll do better next time.
Believe me, the people involved in the sport have no theory of the human mind, but under the pressure of competition, they’ve come up with a set of practices that embody a few key truths.
First, habits and etiquette shape the brain. Or as Timothy Wilson puts it, “One of the most enduring lessons of social psychology is that behavior change often precedes changes in attitudes and feelings.”
And second, there is a certain kind of practical wisdom that is not taught but is imparted through experience. It consists of a sensitivity to the contours of how a situation may evolve, which cannot be put into words.
Baseball players are like storm-tossed sailors falling and rising with the slumps and hot streaks that emanate from inaccessible parts of themselves. The rest of us rationalists use statistics to try to understand the patterns of what they do.
Last week I had lunch with a friend, Tim, who, with only a little prompting, began to rhapsodize about fly fishing. You know, standing hip-deep in a stream, casting and waiting and reeling them in, only to let them go, because after all, this is about the experience, not about eating the fish. It had always seemed kind of silly to me, but not when Tim got done telling me about it. He told me about the wonders of being still, connected to all of nature, hearing the rush of water over rapids and the breeze ruffling the trees, feeling the sun on his face, seeing the glint of sunlight on tree leaves, the beauty of myriad colors in a freshly caught rainbow trout, the smell of the stream and the fish. He described the sensitivity he felt in his hands because of the lightweight equipment, and the connection to, no, the dance with the fish as he reeled it in. He’s been doing it for over 20 years, and it’s always a thrill.
That reminded me of figure skating in my childhood. It was different back then, because people actually skated figures — the famed figure eights, as well as three lobed figures, called serpentines, and circles within circles, in many variations — forwards, backwards, turning once or twice in the middle of each circle, and on and on. This required intense concentration on very slow, fluid movements, because if you lost your concentration, even for a moment, a part of your body would bobble; you could see the result of that on the ice as an imperfection from the ideal. (Today, the emphasis is on freeskating, the jumps and spins skated to music, because that is what sells on TV, and sadly, most of the “figure” skating is lost). You skated the same figures over and over and over again, for years sometimes, till you got them right in front of a mostly impartial audience.
And then, today, I found this article in the NY Times, “Your Brain on Baseball”, included below (emphasis mine). David Brooks talks about training the unconscious mind to do things well through repetition and about how some things are done better without thinking about them.
Does this all sound like meditation to you? It sure does to me. In all these cases, your focus solely on what you’re doing chases out random, or even pointed, conscious thoughts, and allows for a wider, occasionally mystical, experience. Maybe you can get that fly fishing, or doing baseball drills, or shooting basketball freethrows. or golfing, or cycling, or running. I do it when I walk, either focusing completely on my surroundings, or on an affirmation (a kind of mantra) as I walk. I have a friend who goes there just by vacuuming — she gets so absorbed in the motion and the look of the carpet!
So if you “don’t have time to meditate”, maybe you can meditate just by focusing on your senses and performance in sports or even mundane tasks. How can you incorporate meditation into every day life?
Your Brain on Baseball
By DAVID BROOKS
It’s spring training fielding practice, and Jeff Kent, the Dodgers second baseman, is covering first. A coach rolls the ball out toward the mound. The pitcher scrambles to pick up the ball. The catcher yells out which base he should throw to. Kent runs over and catches the ball at first.
Jeff Kent is 39 years old and has been playing professionally for 17 years. He’s probably been doing this same drill since he was 10 years old, because the practice drills the Little Leaguers do are basically the same drills the major leaguers do. Why is Jeff Kent, after all these years, still learning to cover first?
Because the institution of baseball understands how to make the most of the human brain.
One of the core messages of brain research is that most mental activity happens in the automatic or unconscious region of the brain. The unconscious mind is not a swamp of repressed memories and childhood traumas, the way Freud imagined. It’s a set of mental activities that the brain has relegated beyond awareness for efficiency’s sake, so the conscious mind can focus on other things. In his book, “Strangers to Ourselves,” Timothy Wilson of the University of Virginia notes that the brain can absorb about 11 million pieces of information a second, of which it can process about 40 consciously. The unconscious brain handles the rest.
The automatic mind generally takes care of things like muscle control. But it also does more ethereal things. It recognizes patterns and construes situations, searching for danger, opportunities or the unexpected. It also shoves certain memories, thoughts, anxieties and emotions up into consciousness.
Baseball is one of those activities that are performed mostly by the automatic mind. Professional baseball players have phenomenal automatic brains.
As Jeff Hawkins points out in his book “On Intelligence,” it is nearly impossible to design a computer with a robotic arm that can catch a ball. The calculations the computer has to make are too complicated to accomplish in time. Baseball players not only can do that with ease, they can hit a split-finger fastball besides.
Over the decades, the institution of baseball has figured out how to instruct the unconscious mind, to make it better at what it does. As we know the automatic brain only by the behavior it produces, so we can instruct it only by forcing it to repeat certain actions. Jeff Kent is practicing covering first after all these years because the patterns of the automatic brain have to be constantly and repetitively reinforced.
But baseball has accomplished another, more important feat. It has developed a series of habits and standards of behavior to keep the conscious mind from interfering with the automatic mind.
Baseball is one of those activities in which the harder you try, the worse you do. The more a pitcher aims the ball, the wilder he becomes. The more a batter tenses, the slower and more tentative his muscles become.
Over the generations, baseball people have developed an infinity of tics and habits to distract and sedate the conscious mind. Managers encourage a preternaturally calm way of being — especially after failure. In the game I happened to see here on Tuesday, Detroit Tigers pitcher Nate Robertson threw poorly, but strutted off the mound as if he’d just slain Achilles. Second baseman Kevin Hooper waved pathetically at a third struck fastball, but walked back to the dugout wearing an expression of utter nonchalance.
This sort of body language helps players remain steady amid humiliation, so they’ll do better next time.
Believe me, the people involved in the sport have no theory of the human mind, but under the pressure of competition, they’ve come up with a set of practices that embody a few key truths.
First, habits and etiquette shape the brain. Or as Timothy Wilson puts it, “One of the most enduring lessons of social psychology is that behavior change often precedes changes in attitudes and feelings.”
And second, there is a certain kind of practical wisdom that is not taught but is imparted through experience. It consists of a sensitivity to the contours of how a situation may evolve, which cannot be put into words.
Baseball players are like storm-tossed sailors falling and rising with the slumps and hot streaks that emanate from inaccessible parts of themselves. The rest of us rationalists use statistics to try to understand the patterns of what they do.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
The Dirty Little Secret of "The Secret"
Are you practicing the Law of Attraction, and not having the best of results?
Are there barriers you just can’t seem to break through? Things you can’t get yourself to do, or things that just never seem to turn out right? Maybe you always attract the wrong guy – or the wrong woman. Or maybe your talents and hard work are never recognized, no matter where you work. Or you always get a horror of a boss. Or money regularly slips through your fingers. Or maybe you just can’t get yourself do what you need to do to succeed.
The reason the Law of Attraction seems not to work for you is that there’s a dirty little secret to The Secret.
Here’s what no one is telling you:
You create your reality through your beliefs. The problem with that is, most of our beliefs are unconscious! The Law of Attraction is working -- you are attracting what you want at a very deep, that is, unconscious, level. And maybe you don’t like what you are attracting. How do you change something you’re not even aware of?
And no two people’s beliefs are alike, so no mass market product – tape, CD, DVD, mass training – will ever find YOUR beliefs!
But I can help you find and shift your unconscious beliefs! In 20 years of counseling people, using my clairvoyance as well as hypnotherapy and neurolinguistic techniques, I’ve come up with a unique process that not only identifies the unconscious beliefs blocking what you consciously want, it changes them -- permanently – often in under an hour. Then you will automatically and easily take the right action -- and attract what you want! Call me now at 888-4-hollis (888-446-5547) or check out my website, www.hollispolk.com to learn more.
Maybe you’re like Lacey -- just about to succeed as an actor -- making contacts in the industry, people who can get her seen by the right casting directors, and get her parts. (She’s been training for 10 years, and has rave reviews from the few jobs she’s had.) All she has to do is send out her resume to her new contacts – and she can’t get herself to do it! What’s going on? She makes up excuse after excuse – it’s too hard to get it off the old floppy disk (she could just type it again), she has to end some legal issues, she has to clean the kitchen. What’s really going on?
What’s really going on for Lacey, as I discovered in under 10 minutes, is that she equates success with being a horrible person – an alcoholic and an abuser of other people, because her successful father was not only a workaholic, but also an alcoholic who abused her and her mother. So unconsciously, success is a massive double bind. She can either struggle and be a good person, or succeed professionally and be a monster! Is she going to succeed? Not without changing her unconscious programming!
The good news is, she can change that programming. And so can you!
Over 20 years of working with clients, I have seen so many people facing obstacles that could be overcome easily with the right tools, that I incorporated additional skills into my original clairvoyant practice. I mastered these skills in my “rational” education (a Harvard MBA and an engineering Bachelor’s degree from Princeton, where I specialized in decision science), 20+ years of business experience, and specialized training, including hypnotherapy and neuro-linguistics. My practice now specializes in coaching based on psychic information.
It will work for you!
It's convenient: We do sessions by phone, so you're in the safety and comfort of your own home (or office, or even car!), without the hassle, time, or expense of driving somewhere.
It's cost effective: I charge by the minute, so you only pay for the time you actually use.
Satisfaction is guaranteed: If you don’t feel like you got something useful out of the session, it’s free!
Call me now at 888-4-holllis (888-446-5547) or check out my website at www.hollispolk.com to learn more!
Are there barriers you just can’t seem to break through? Things you can’t get yourself to do, or things that just never seem to turn out right? Maybe you always attract the wrong guy – or the wrong woman. Or maybe your talents and hard work are never recognized, no matter where you work. Or you always get a horror of a boss. Or money regularly slips through your fingers. Or maybe you just can’t get yourself do what you need to do to succeed.
The reason the Law of Attraction seems not to work for you is that there’s a dirty little secret to The Secret.
Here’s what no one is telling you:
You create your reality through your beliefs. The problem with that is, most of our beliefs are unconscious! The Law of Attraction is working -- you are attracting what you want at a very deep, that is, unconscious, level. And maybe you don’t like what you are attracting. How do you change something you’re not even aware of?
And no two people’s beliefs are alike, so no mass market product – tape, CD, DVD, mass training – will ever find YOUR beliefs!
But I can help you find and shift your unconscious beliefs! In 20 years of counseling people, using my clairvoyance as well as hypnotherapy and neurolinguistic techniques, I’ve come up with a unique process that not only identifies the unconscious beliefs blocking what you consciously want, it changes them -- permanently – often in under an hour. Then you will automatically and easily take the right action -- and attract what you want! Call me now at 888-4-hollis (888-446-5547) or check out my website, www.hollispolk.com to learn more.
Maybe you’re like Lacey -- just about to succeed as an actor -- making contacts in the industry, people who can get her seen by the right casting directors, and get her parts. (She’s been training for 10 years, and has rave reviews from the few jobs she’s had.) All she has to do is send out her resume to her new contacts – and she can’t get herself to do it! What’s going on? She makes up excuse after excuse – it’s too hard to get it off the old floppy disk (she could just type it again), she has to end some legal issues, she has to clean the kitchen. What’s really going on?
What’s really going on for Lacey, as I discovered in under 10 minutes, is that she equates success with being a horrible person – an alcoholic and an abuser of other people, because her successful father was not only a workaholic, but also an alcoholic who abused her and her mother. So unconsciously, success is a massive double bind. She can either struggle and be a good person, or succeed professionally and be a monster! Is she going to succeed? Not without changing her unconscious programming!
The good news is, she can change that programming. And so can you!
Over 20 years of working with clients, I have seen so many people facing obstacles that could be overcome easily with the right tools, that I incorporated additional skills into my original clairvoyant practice. I mastered these skills in my “rational” education (a Harvard MBA and an engineering Bachelor’s degree from Princeton, where I specialized in decision science), 20+ years of business experience, and specialized training, including hypnotherapy and neuro-linguistics. My practice now specializes in coaching based on psychic information.
It will work for you!
It's convenient: We do sessions by phone, so you're in the safety and comfort of your own home (or office, or even car!), without the hassle, time, or expense of driving somewhere.
It's cost effective: I charge by the minute, so you only pay for the time you actually use.
Satisfaction is guaranteed: If you don’t feel like you got something useful out of the session, it’s free!
Call me now at 888-4-holllis (888-446-5547) or check out my website at www.hollispolk.com to learn more!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
And what did YOU do this week?
When I was a kid, every night at dinner, my Dad used to ask each of us, “What did you accomplish today?” I guess I had an answer. Must have, because the programming is so deep that I don’t even remember it. And no trauma there, either. My Mom tells me that one summer day, I answered my Dad, “I had FUN!” so defiantly that he stopped asking the question for a while.
The funny thing is, I can’t answer the question, “what did you accomplish?”, any more. Not for today, not for this week. And I don’t mean I sat on my butt and did nothing, either. I didn’t, though I was moving a bit slowly because I’m still recuperating from that nasty flu. I could write a list a mile long of stuff I did — but what does it really amount to? I mean, I did last week’s radio show, which I think made a difference for at least one person, and some client sessions that did, too. But that was what, a relatively few hours? In the course of a whole week? And all the other activity, the marketing, the sales calls, the emails, the cooking, the laundry, the paperwork, all that, what does it amount to? The truth is, most of it fades into one big blur. Does that happen to you, too? A few things stand out — a celebratory dinner with a friend, who just landed a terrific new job, an amazing client session or two, seeing my initial designs up on the web on CafePress for the first time (check them out at www.cafepress.com/flowersnquilts).
Here’s an even funnier thing — someone advised me to write down 5 things I’d accomplished each day, and said, if you can’t find five, you’re not looking low enough. Some days, I had to look pretty darn low, and that didn’t make me feel any better.
So part of me wants to be frustrated. Another week, and despite lots of effort, I seem no closer to my goals. It seems like nothing’s happening.
But another, wiser part of me knows that this is life on the plateau, one of those long stretches of life where you are just working steadily for what you want. Nothing big happens. Nothing bad happens. That part of me knows that life isn’t all highs, or lows (which I’m grateful for avoiding for another week). I do believe that what you put out comes back to you, so I have to believe all this effort will pay off somewhere, someday, somehow.
In Mastery, George Leonard says (and I’m paraphrasing here) you have to learn to love the plateau, because that’s what most of life is, and because those long stretches on the plateau are necessary preparation for the big breakthroughs.
Maybe this isn’t the most direct path to my goals, but maybe it’s the easiest. I did say I wanted ease and flow! And you have to be very careful what you ask for, because you will get it — the Law of Unintended Consequences is a corollary to the Law of Attraction. Maybe my path on the plateau is longer because of that.
I am learning, somewhat grudgingly, to love the plateau, and to love not only what I choose to create, but how I choose to create it.
I hope you are, too!
The funny thing is, I can’t answer the question, “what did you accomplish?”, any more. Not for today, not for this week. And I don’t mean I sat on my butt and did nothing, either. I didn’t, though I was moving a bit slowly because I’m still recuperating from that nasty flu. I could write a list a mile long of stuff I did — but what does it really amount to? I mean, I did last week’s radio show, which I think made a difference for at least one person, and some client sessions that did, too. But that was what, a relatively few hours? In the course of a whole week? And all the other activity, the marketing, the sales calls, the emails, the cooking, the laundry, the paperwork, all that, what does it amount to? The truth is, most of it fades into one big blur. Does that happen to you, too? A few things stand out — a celebratory dinner with a friend, who just landed a terrific new job, an amazing client session or two, seeing my initial designs up on the web on CafePress for the first time (check them out at www.cafepress.com/flowersnquilts).
Here’s an even funnier thing — someone advised me to write down 5 things I’d accomplished each day, and said, if you can’t find five, you’re not looking low enough. Some days, I had to look pretty darn low, and that didn’t make me feel any better.
So part of me wants to be frustrated. Another week, and despite lots of effort, I seem no closer to my goals. It seems like nothing’s happening.
But another, wiser part of me knows that this is life on the plateau, one of those long stretches of life where you are just working steadily for what you want. Nothing big happens. Nothing bad happens. That part of me knows that life isn’t all highs, or lows (which I’m grateful for avoiding for another week). I do believe that what you put out comes back to you, so I have to believe all this effort will pay off somewhere, someday, somehow.
In Mastery, George Leonard says (and I’m paraphrasing here) you have to learn to love the plateau, because that’s what most of life is, and because those long stretches on the plateau are necessary preparation for the big breakthroughs.
Maybe this isn’t the most direct path to my goals, but maybe it’s the easiest. I did say I wanted ease and flow! And you have to be very careful what you ask for, because you will get it — the Law of Unintended Consequences is a corollary to the Law of Attraction. Maybe my path on the plateau is longer because of that.
I am learning, somewhat grudgingly, to love the plateau, and to love not only what I choose to create, but how I choose to create it.
I hope you are, too!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
How do you know you're doing the right thing?
If you’ve watched or read “The Secret”, you know that part of the secret to creating what you want is taking action. But how do you know if that action is taking you down the right road, or on a detour, or worse, down a dead end?
I’m really asking this seriously. I have a few ideas, which I’ll list below, but I really want to hear from you how you know you’re doing the right thing. Please post your ideas here on my blog.
Here are a few ways I know I’m on the right track (jn no particular order):
people’s eyes light up when they see me, or something I’ve done
someone says, “I never thought of it that way”
I feel a kind of glow around my heart
people laugh — or they cry — in recognition of truth
my guides tell me I did a good thing
someone says, “thank you”, in a tone that conveys a huge sense of relief
Please take a moment and post how you know you did the right thing as a comment to this blog.
I’m really asking this seriously. I have a few ideas, which I’ll list below, but I really want to hear from you how you know you’re doing the right thing. Please post your ideas here on my blog.
Here are a few ways I know I’m on the right track (jn no particular order):
people’s eyes light up when they see me, or something I’ve done
someone says, “I never thought of it that way”
I feel a kind of glow around my heart
people laugh — or they cry — in recognition of truth
my guides tell me I did a good thing
someone says, “thank you”, in a tone that conveys a huge sense of relief
Please take a moment and post how you know you did the right thing as a comment to this blog.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
The upside of flu
Okay, I pushed it too much, including not being able to protect myself adequately from the energy of 1500 people releasing negativity (long story), and ended up with the worst bug I’ve had since I came down with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in my twenties. I spent an entire week in bed, for most of it unable to do more than lie there. No reading, no computer graphics, which I can usually do even when I can’t read, no eating — I pretty much just lay there, in varying degrees of pain. I watched way too much TV, but then, it was the only thing I could do to distract myself from the body aches, which could be really uncomfortable. So I am grateful to the television, and all the people who put on all those shows.
After a day or two, it began to rain, so I opened the bedroom window wide to let in the sound of the rain, and maybe some healing negative ions which would come off the moving water. And I learned a few things:
1. Do less, be more - We live, I mean, I live, but I think I’m pretty normal in this way, a very, very frenetic lifestyle here in the US. Lying there for a week, I could see how much of what I do is really... superfluous. It’s probably more important for me to lie there a bit every day, enjoying the quiet and the trees outside my window than it is to read one more news item. And what did I miss in a week? Not all that much. I’m sure no one noticed that I never sent an email last Thursday. My husband fended for himself just fine in the kitchen. My body seemed to enjoy not having to digest food. The list of what I didn’t do is endless, and it really didn’t matter.
2. Appreciate the health you have – if it’s mostly good, we tend to ignore it. What you focus on, expands, so be grateful for it every day. I know I am, especially now.
3. Nature is healing – As I lay there in front of a large, open window (no, it wasn’t too cold, it’s always warmish when it rains), I had the sense that this enormous cedar behind the house was trying to heal me. I could almost feel it reaching in through the window, sweeping its branches across me energetically. Okay, maybe it was the delusion of a fever, but what if it wasn’t? What if there is more to our earth relationships than meets the everyday eye?
3. It’s blessed to receive – I know I’m a lot better at giving than receiving; maybe you are, too, since we’re all taught that “”it’s more blessed to give than to receive”. But really, if every gift needs a giver and a recipient, how can that be? A time of illness is a great time to practice receiving with grace. When we’re sick, we need help, whether it’s actual medical attention, energy healing, or something very prosaic, like someone to pick up the kids. Our only choice is whether or not to accept with grace. I choose grace.
They say that every cloud has a silver lining. For me, being reminded of these things, was that silver lining, the upside of flu.
After a day or two, it began to rain, so I opened the bedroom window wide to let in the sound of the rain, and maybe some healing negative ions which would come off the moving water. And I learned a few things:
1. Do less, be more - We live, I mean, I live, but I think I’m pretty normal in this way, a very, very frenetic lifestyle here in the US. Lying there for a week, I could see how much of what I do is really... superfluous. It’s probably more important for me to lie there a bit every day, enjoying the quiet and the trees outside my window than it is to read one more news item. And what did I miss in a week? Not all that much. I’m sure no one noticed that I never sent an email last Thursday. My husband fended for himself just fine in the kitchen. My body seemed to enjoy not having to digest food. The list of what I didn’t do is endless, and it really didn’t matter.
2. Appreciate the health you have – if it’s mostly good, we tend to ignore it. What you focus on, expands, so be grateful for it every day. I know I am, especially now.
3. Nature is healing – As I lay there in front of a large, open window (no, it wasn’t too cold, it’s always warmish when it rains), I had the sense that this enormous cedar behind the house was trying to heal me. I could almost feel it reaching in through the window, sweeping its branches across me energetically. Okay, maybe it was the delusion of a fever, but what if it wasn’t? What if there is more to our earth relationships than meets the everyday eye?
3. It’s blessed to receive – I know I’m a lot better at giving than receiving; maybe you are, too, since we’re all taught that “”it’s more blessed to give than to receive”. But really, if every gift needs a giver and a recipient, how can that be? A time of illness is a great time to practice receiving with grace. When we’re sick, we need help, whether it’s actual medical attention, energy healing, or something very prosaic, like someone to pick up the kids. Our only choice is whether or not to accept with grace. I choose grace.
They say that every cloud has a silver lining. For me, being reminded of these things, was that silver lining, the upside of flu.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Joys of Age
As I was thinking back over the last year, what was positive or fun, what I learned from, what succeeded, what failed, what the jury is still out on, what seems to want to expand in the coming year, who I enjoyed being with and feel honored to have in my life, I realized that there is a true joy in coming of age.
You can come of age at any age, though it’s often in response to some life changing event: having a baby, running your own business, death of someone you love, the serious dis-ease of you or someone you love, the end of an important relationship, financial hardship.
It’s a never ending process, and we can choose to grow and learn through awareness and joy rather than pain.
That said, here are a few joys of age:
You know who you are.
- You know what your strengths are (speaking, I hope, writing).
- You know what you're bad at (proofreading, typing) -- and have other people or systems to do that for you. -
- You know what you love to do (readings), what you hate to do (clean bathrooms), and what you will no longer tolerate (washing dishes).
- You don’t define yourself by that great shirt, or the cool watch or cool car or even right neighborhood. You define yourself by the content of your character, the size of your heart, you compassion.
You are good at things you enjoy.
- If you like to eat, maybe by now you’re a good cook. And if, because you like to eat, you discovered you like to cook, you’re definitely a good cook.
- If you like to run, you’ve learned where the edge is, between not pushing hard enough, so it’s not really a workout, and pushing too hard so you hurt yourself. You know the edge is a little different every day. And you stay on that edge.
You know who other people are.
- You know who you can count on, and who you can’t.
- You know that when someone is always late, they’re always late, no matter how much they say they’re going to be on time next time, and that it’s about her/him, not you.
- You know that Mom gets anxious when anyone else drives — it’s her control issue, not your driving.
- You know that Jane runs off at the mouth — she needs to be heard really badly, and you can either be around her or not, but you can’t shut her up.
- You know that when two people get on each other’s nerves — it’s them, not you, and you don’t have to be in the middle of it.
You know who your friends are -- and you know you have them around you.
- You know who shows up to help you move and who is conveniently busy.
- You know who to call when you are heart-broken at 2AM.
- You know who will bring you groceries when you’re sick, and who just can’t be around sick people.
- You know that these are 3 separate people, and you don’t expect the one who helps you move to be the one you can call at 2AM.
You can see patterns.
- You know that when Joe calls his Dad, Joe’s going to be in a bad mood for a few hours.
- Or you’ve learned that your husband is most cooperative when he needs sex, so that’s when you ask for something big (this is truly what a very smart woman I met told me about how her marriage worked).
- You know that when George Bush says he’s not doing something, like planning to attack Iraq, or Iran, or spying on the American people, he really means the opposite.
- You know that anything the government is hiding, it isn’t hiding for your good.
You are doing something about the things you can change.
- If you don’t like where you’re living, you figure out how to make it a place you like -- or how to move.
- If you don’t like your financial situation, you figure out what field you might like that could make you more money. Or how to save, or how to invest.
- If you don’t like how your body looks, you join a gym and go. And you eat less and stick to it. And if that doesn’t work, you eventually figure out what in your body isn’t working right, and do something to get it to work right.
You are gracious in accepting what you can't change.
- You can’t change the weather, you just deal with it the best you can.
- You can’t change other people, you either deal with them the best you can, or you don’t deal with them.
- You can’t change the past, but you can change your memories of it, and how you deal with it — that’s the grace part.
You are smart enough to tell which is which.
- A friend of mine, a single woman, adopted a 3 year old Russian orphan a few years back. When the girl got to be school age, she began to have projects about her family, like drawing a family tree. Since she was able to remember the orphanage, it was clear she had no idea about her family tree. Of course, they used my friend’s family, but it never felt right. When it came to stuff about the family pet, though, they went and got a cat. As my friend said at the time, “this one I can do something about”.
- And if this is beginning to sound like the Serenity Prayer, perhaps this is why those of us who are “awake” grow more peaceful with age.
You have let go of a lot of the baggage that led to stupid choices.
- You’ve learned that some of what you learned at your parents’ possibly dysfunctional knees may or may not have worked for them, but it definitely doesn’t work for you, and you’ve learned to act or be different.
- You’ve learned that you don’t need your peers’ approval, or your parents’ approval, for your life to work.
- You’ve learned that your need for security is often a trap, and that giving up what seems like security, in service of something you truly want is actually the smartest, safest choice in the long run.
You have learned from all the bad choices.
- Choices always have consequences, and you have learned from the consequences of your actions. So you’re making different choices now.
You have your own spirituality.
- You’ve read enough, and talked enough, and prayed or meditated enough to know what you believe, and what rings true for you in other people’s writings or speaking.
- You’ve developed your own relationship with (pick your word here) God, a higher power, Goddess, All that Is, the Universe, your guides or angels, your higher wisdom. And you rely on that relationship to get you through hard times. And if you’re really together, you remember to say “thank you” in good times.
Please write me with any ideas you have for additions to this list — I’d love to hear them!
You can come of age at any age, though it’s often in response to some life changing event: having a baby, running your own business, death of someone you love, the serious dis-ease of you or someone you love, the end of an important relationship, financial hardship.
It’s a never ending process, and we can choose to grow and learn through awareness and joy rather than pain.
That said, here are a few joys of age:
You know who you are.
- You know what your strengths are (speaking, I hope, writing).
- You know what you're bad at (proofreading, typing) -- and have other people or systems to do that for you. -
- You know what you love to do (readings), what you hate to do (clean bathrooms), and what you will no longer tolerate (washing dishes).
- You don’t define yourself by that great shirt, or the cool watch or cool car or even right neighborhood. You define yourself by the content of your character, the size of your heart, you compassion.
You are good at things you enjoy.
- If you like to eat, maybe by now you’re a good cook. And if, because you like to eat, you discovered you like to cook, you’re definitely a good cook.
- If you like to run, you’ve learned where the edge is, between not pushing hard enough, so it’s not really a workout, and pushing too hard so you hurt yourself. You know the edge is a little different every day. And you stay on that edge.
You know who other people are.
- You know who you can count on, and who you can’t.
- You know that when someone is always late, they’re always late, no matter how much they say they’re going to be on time next time, and that it’s about her/him, not you.
- You know that Mom gets anxious when anyone else drives — it’s her control issue, not your driving.
- You know that Jane runs off at the mouth — she needs to be heard really badly, and you can either be around her or not, but you can’t shut her up.
- You know that when two people get on each other’s nerves — it’s them, not you, and you don’t have to be in the middle of it.
You know who your friends are -- and you know you have them around you.
- You know who shows up to help you move and who is conveniently busy.
- You know who to call when you are heart-broken at 2AM.
- You know who will bring you groceries when you’re sick, and who just can’t be around sick people.
- You know that these are 3 separate people, and you don’t expect the one who helps you move to be the one you can call at 2AM.
You can see patterns.
- You know that when Joe calls his Dad, Joe’s going to be in a bad mood for a few hours.
- Or you’ve learned that your husband is most cooperative when he needs sex, so that’s when you ask for something big (this is truly what a very smart woman I met told me about how her marriage worked).
- You know that when George Bush says he’s not doing something, like planning to attack Iraq, or Iran, or spying on the American people, he really means the opposite.
- You know that anything the government is hiding, it isn’t hiding for your good.
You are doing something about the things you can change.
- If you don’t like where you’re living, you figure out how to make it a place you like -- or how to move.
- If you don’t like your financial situation, you figure out what field you might like that could make you more money. Or how to save, or how to invest.
- If you don’t like how your body looks, you join a gym and go. And you eat less and stick to it. And if that doesn’t work, you eventually figure out what in your body isn’t working right, and do something to get it to work right.
You are gracious in accepting what you can't change.
- You can’t change the weather, you just deal with it the best you can.
- You can’t change other people, you either deal with them the best you can, or you don’t deal with them.
- You can’t change the past, but you can change your memories of it, and how you deal with it — that’s the grace part.
You are smart enough to tell which is which.
- A friend of mine, a single woman, adopted a 3 year old Russian orphan a few years back. When the girl got to be school age, she began to have projects about her family, like drawing a family tree. Since she was able to remember the orphanage, it was clear she had no idea about her family tree. Of course, they used my friend’s family, but it never felt right. When it came to stuff about the family pet, though, they went and got a cat. As my friend said at the time, “this one I can do something about”.
- And if this is beginning to sound like the Serenity Prayer, perhaps this is why those of us who are “awake” grow more peaceful with age.
You have let go of a lot of the baggage that led to stupid choices.
- You’ve learned that some of what you learned at your parents’ possibly dysfunctional knees may or may not have worked for them, but it definitely doesn’t work for you, and you’ve learned to act or be different.
- You’ve learned that you don’t need your peers’ approval, or your parents’ approval, for your life to work.
- You’ve learned that your need for security is often a trap, and that giving up what seems like security, in service of something you truly want is actually the smartest, safest choice in the long run.
You have learned from all the bad choices.
- Choices always have consequences, and you have learned from the consequences of your actions. So you’re making different choices now.
You have your own spirituality.
- You’ve read enough, and talked enough, and prayed or meditated enough to know what you believe, and what rings true for you in other people’s writings or speaking.
- You’ve developed your own relationship with (pick your word here) God, a higher power, Goddess, All that Is, the Universe, your guides or angels, your higher wisdom. And you rely on that relationship to get you through hard times. And if you’re really together, you remember to say “thank you” in good times.
Please write me with any ideas you have for additions to this list — I’d love to hear them!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Affirmations 101
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how daydreaming was good for you. If you did some daydreaming, you now are very aware of what it is you wish to create. Here is one of my favorite tools to use that awareness to actually make it happen!
The tool is an affirmation. An affirmation is basically a self-hypnotic suggestion, which is a suggestion to your unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is very literal. To see what I mean by that, right now, don’t think of a purple elephant.
What happened? If you are like most people, you immediately thought of a purple elephant. The unconscious mind doesn’t hear the word “not”, and so it immediately makes a picture of a purple elephant. That means a few things about how to structure an affirmation:
State it in the positive — Again, the unconscious mind does not hear “not”. And more subtly, it focuses where you focus it. So if you focus on getting away from a bad situation, you will perpetuate the bad situation, because you are reminding yourself of the bad situation. It’s important to focus on what you wish to create instead.
State it in the present tense — If you tell yourself something will happen, it will forever remain in the future. If you tell yourself it is becoming true, it is.
State it in a way that is believable to you — First, you must believe the desired state is possible, and that it is possible for you. Then, it must be believable to you as a statement. If you tell yourself that you are thin when you are 100 pounds overweight, your unconscious mind won’t believe you and will dismiss the suggestion. However, if you tell yourself that you are daily approaching your natural, slim weight, your unconscious mind can’t automatically reject that, so it may believe that and will be attracted to doing whatever is needed for it to happen.
State it in a way that is qualitative, not quantitative — the unconscious mind doesn’t understand numbers over two, or possibly three. Quick — think of a stick. Now think of two sticks. Now think of three sticks. Now think of four sticks. Getting a little fuzzy? Now think of 100,000 sticks. You can use numbers in goals, but not in affirmations.
The affirmation must be controlled by you. You have no more control over another person, and how they treat you, than you do over the weather. You do, however, have control over how you react, and over how proactive you are in any situation.
Affirmations are best used at times when you are naturally going into a light hypnotic trance. Contrary to popular belief, all people go in and out of these light trances all the time. If you’ve ever driven for a while and realized you don’t remember the last few miles or few minutes (or more!), you were in a trance state. When you do things like washing dishes or brushing your teeth or running a few miles on “automatic pilot”, you are in a trance state. You can use these states to your advantage by doing affirmations when you’re in them. Plan to do this in advance of the state and see how easily the affirmations manifest.
As you are doing your affirmations, all your internal objections to them will pop up to be dealt with. Those objections must be handled in ways that are satisfying to your unconscious mind. There are many, many ways to handle them, and I may suggest some in future articles.
The tool is an affirmation. An affirmation is basically a self-hypnotic suggestion, which is a suggestion to your unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is very literal. To see what I mean by that, right now, don’t think of a purple elephant.
What happened? If you are like most people, you immediately thought of a purple elephant. The unconscious mind doesn’t hear the word “not”, and so it immediately makes a picture of a purple elephant. That means a few things about how to structure an affirmation:
State it in the positive — Again, the unconscious mind does not hear “not”. And more subtly, it focuses where you focus it. So if you focus on getting away from a bad situation, you will perpetuate the bad situation, because you are reminding yourself of the bad situation. It’s important to focus on what you wish to create instead.
State it in the present tense — If you tell yourself something will happen, it will forever remain in the future. If you tell yourself it is becoming true, it is.
State it in a way that is believable to you — First, you must believe the desired state is possible, and that it is possible for you. Then, it must be believable to you as a statement. If you tell yourself that you are thin when you are 100 pounds overweight, your unconscious mind won’t believe you and will dismiss the suggestion. However, if you tell yourself that you are daily approaching your natural, slim weight, your unconscious mind can’t automatically reject that, so it may believe that and will be attracted to doing whatever is needed for it to happen.
State it in a way that is qualitative, not quantitative — the unconscious mind doesn’t understand numbers over two, or possibly three. Quick — think of a stick. Now think of two sticks. Now think of three sticks. Now think of four sticks. Getting a little fuzzy? Now think of 100,000 sticks. You can use numbers in goals, but not in affirmations.
The affirmation must be controlled by you. You have no more control over another person, and how they treat you, than you do over the weather. You do, however, have control over how you react, and over how proactive you are in any situation.
Affirmations are best used at times when you are naturally going into a light hypnotic trance. Contrary to popular belief, all people go in and out of these light trances all the time. If you’ve ever driven for a while and realized you don’t remember the last few miles or few minutes (or more!), you were in a trance state. When you do things like washing dishes or brushing your teeth or running a few miles on “automatic pilot”, you are in a trance state. You can use these states to your advantage by doing affirmations when you’re in them. Plan to do this in advance of the state and see how easily the affirmations manifest.
As you are doing your affirmations, all your internal objections to them will pop up to be dealt with. Those objections must be handled in ways that are satisfying to your unconscious mind. There are many, many ways to handle them, and I may suggest some in future articles.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Daydreaming is good for you!
As the year begins, this week is a really good time to think about what you want for the coming year. And the place to start that is with daydreaming — you only daydream about what you want, right? And knowing what you want is the first step in getting it.
Know that this daydreaming is possibly the best use of your time this week. Even if you’re hanging out with your family and friends, save a little time for you.
Here are a few questions to get you started:
What do I want for my work?
relationships?
home/surroundings (I include workplace and cars here)?
health/personal growth/spirituality?
finances?
fun/rest/re-creation?
If I could create anything (and you can!), what would that be? This is not a time for practicality or “being realistic” or limits. Go wild!
In the best of all possible worlds, how might it happen? You are not envisioning this to limit the universe but to see how easily it might come about.
Make each of these things as real as possible for yourself — see it, hear it, touch it, smell it and/or taste it, either in your mind or in reality.
So if you want a new car, and you know what you want, go see one! Touch it, get inside it if possible, and enjoy the feeling of that — breathe deeply and notice the scent. If you don’t have time for that, then do this in your mind. If you don’t know what you want, maybe go look at cars. If you don’t yet have time for that, at least get the feeling you’ll have inside the car, see as much as you can in your mind, maybe write down criteria for that ideal car.
Have fun with this — your enjoyment of the creation process actually helps you create!
If you have a chance, it’s good to write down as much as you can of what you daydream. Treasure maps (collages of pictures of what you want) are fun, and work well for lots of people.
And rather than do the usual New Year’s resolutions, which don’t work anyway, next week, I suggest you write affirmations — I’ll send out some info on that then.
Know that this daydreaming is possibly the best use of your time this week. Even if you’re hanging out with your family and friends, save a little time for you.
Here are a few questions to get you started:
What do I want for my work?
relationships?
home/surroundings (I include workplace and cars here)?
health/personal growth/spirituality?
finances?
fun/rest/re-creation?
If I could create anything (and you can!), what would that be? This is not a time for practicality or “being realistic” or limits. Go wild!
In the best of all possible worlds, how might it happen? You are not envisioning this to limit the universe but to see how easily it might come about.
Make each of these things as real as possible for yourself — see it, hear it, touch it, smell it and/or taste it, either in your mind or in reality.
So if you want a new car, and you know what you want, go see one! Touch it, get inside it if possible, and enjoy the feeling of that — breathe deeply and notice the scent. If you don’t have time for that, then do this in your mind. If you don’t know what you want, maybe go look at cars. If you don’t yet have time for that, at least get the feeling you’ll have inside the car, see as much as you can in your mind, maybe write down criteria for that ideal car.
Have fun with this — your enjoyment of the creation process actually helps you create!
If you have a chance, it’s good to write down as much as you can of what you daydream. Treasure maps (collages of pictures of what you want) are fun, and work well for lots of people.
And rather than do the usual New Year’s resolutions, which don’t work anyway, next week, I suggest you write affirmations — I’ll send out some info on that then.
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